Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 3 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

There are 2 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse

Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
See more
See less

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • ofelles
    Club Member
    • Jun 2018
    • 2430
    • Brentwood CA
    • Yoder YS640 on Comp cart
      Klose 20x42 Charcoal Grill
      LSG Insulated Cabinet
      Jumbo Joe
      VacMaster Pro 380 sealer
      FireBoard and Pit Bull fan
      Thermoworks Signal
      Thermoworks Dot
      Thermopen Mk4








    Comment


    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      I hope he washed em first.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      "of COURSE you can smell alcohol officer, I just sanitized my hands!"

    • Mosca
      Mosca commented
      Editing a comment
      Some really good ones here.
  • MTurney
    Club Member
    • Feb 2020
    • 261
    • Grapevine, TX

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment

    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 638
      • North Central Iowa
      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
        Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks ThermoPop
        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      The connection between the Elf on a shelf and some Christmas cookies!

      Comment


      • Foehn Watts
        Foehn Watts commented
        Editing a comment
        That dang elf must be really busy this year!
    • Foehn Watts
      Club Member
      • Apr 2019
      • 242
      • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

      Click image for larger version  Name:	mallard fillmore relatives and cdc.gif Views:	0 Size:	202.5 KB ID:	958586

      Thank you to Loren Fishman and Mallard Fillmore!
      Last edited by Foehn Watts; December 18, 2020, 07:23 PM.

      Comment


      • ComfortablyNumb
        ComfortablyNumb commented
        Editing a comment
        Wait a minute now. Passed out on the sofa is not a COVID-19 safety measure?

      • Foehn Watts
        Foehn Watts commented
        Editing a comment
        Jeeze ComfortablyNumb --don't we all wish.

        Wait -- Passed out on the sofa means you're at home and not socially interacting, so I guess it IS a COVID-19 safety measure!

      • ComfortablyNumb
        ComfortablyNumb commented
        Editing a comment
        Foehn Watts So, the CDC should be recommending consuming alcohol as it will not only NOT impair our ability to follow safety measures, it will ensure we do.
    • Foehn Watts
      Club Member
      • Apr 2019
      • 242
      • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


      TClick image for larger version  Name:	pearls before swine doesn't have a leg to stand on.gif Views:	0 Size:	59.3 KB ID:	958589
      Thank you Stephen Pastis of Pearls Before Swine!
      Last edited by Foehn Watts; December 18, 2020, 07:25 PM.

      Comment


      • SheilaAnn
        SheilaAnn commented
        Editing a comment
        Loves me some PBS!

      • Panhead John
        Panhead John commented
        Editing a comment
        My favorite comic strip.
    • wu7y
      Club Member
      • Oct 2017
      • 178
      • Gillette Wyoming

      I have goal and I am on a quest. If I can get a "like" from willxfmr I will consider myself a success.

      Click image for larger version

Name:	6d87adcf-3050-416f-a291-391c83d7ac12.jpg
Views:	189
Size:	81.4 KB
ID:	958882
      Click image for larger version

Name:	772f8f2f-98a5-4f1d-b063-c56268728f87.jpg
Views:	184
Size:	62.1 KB
ID:	958883
      Click image for larger version

Name:	6663c600-668b-464e-9c6b-fc050263df2f.jpg
Views:	195
Size:	75.4 KB
ID:	958884
      Click image for larger version

Name:	a9b1d6b8-18ab-4bf0-b3bc-1439270dde64.jpg
Views:	192
Size:	67.0 KB
ID:	958885

      Click image for larger version

Name:	b194ad2f-e76a-4d31-822a-d402667f40a0.jpg
Views:	195
Size:	69.2 KB
ID:	958886Click image for larger version

Name:	ATT00276.jpg
Views:	187
Size:	65.0 KB
ID:	958887

      Comment


      • wu7y
        wu7y commented
        Editing a comment
        WooHoo!! I'm just gonna sit back and watch this.

      • Panhead John
        Panhead John commented
        Editing a comment
        willxfmr The only reason I chew my toenails is because they remind me of your cooks.😉
        Last edited by Panhead John; December 21, 2020, 10:50 AM.

      • Foehn Watts
        Foehn Watts commented
        Editing a comment
        Panhead John -- That is so wrong, but LOL.
    • Foehn Watts
      Club Member
      • Apr 2019
      • 242
      • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


      A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

      After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.

      “Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

      With that the man turned to his accuser and said "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson".

      Comment

      • Foehn Watts
        Club Member
        • Apr 2019
        • 242
        • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


        What is the difference between hot potato and a flying pig?

        One's a heated yam, and one's a yeeted ham.

        Comment


        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          JimLinebarger --sorry about the educational, but I didn't know it was a word either. Learn sumpin' new everyday!

        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          I knew it was a word. I just didn't know whose.

        • HawkerXP
          HawkerXP commented
          Editing a comment
          You yeeted me on that one.
      • Foehn Watts
        Club Member
        • Apr 2019
        • 242
        • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

        What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

        The letter F.

        Comment

        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 242
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


          A goat gets his wish granted by a genie.

          He wishes to be turned into a human being.After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie.He asks ‟How can I ever repay you?”

          The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before; and care like no man has cared before.The man obliges.

          He first sets out to find his ‟calling”.Over the years, he works many jobs.He finds himself becoming depressed with the monotony that he has come to know.Finally, he decides to go back to his roots and do what he knows.He becomes a farmer.With the money he has accumulated from his many professions, he buys a large farm where he decides to take in unwanted and ill animals.Goats (obviously), pigs, cows, cats, dogs, and various other animals.He cares for them.He comes to know and understand them.He has a deep connection with them.

          One day, a woman brings her dog to the man’s farm.She is worried about the dog.She says ever since the dog’s sibling died, he hasn’t seemed right.The man agrees to take the dog and care for it.He knows the other animals will comfort it and the dog will enjoy his new family.The woman comes to visit the dog regularly.She becomes familiar with all of the other animals on the farm, and most of all, the man.They spend hours together each visit.Talking and taking care of the animals together.Hours turn to days.Days to weeks.The man asks the woman to live with him and his animals.The woman obliges.They are in love.They are truly happy.

          The genie comes to the man one night in his dreams.The genie says to the man ‟You have lived like no other man; you’ve loved like no other man; and you’ve cared like no other man.You have done well”.

          The man wakes up the next morning and he doesn’t feel well.He can’t explain it, but somethings not right.Weeks go by and the man’s condition seems to worsen.His doctors cannot explain his rapidly deteriorating health.The woman is always by his side when she is not caring for his animals.The woman’s dog sleeps at the foot of his bed.Never leaving.At last, it seems like he cannot hold on for much longer.He’s barely able to speak at this point.He motions for the woman to come near.He says to her ‟Do you want to know why I fell in love with you all those years ago? Do you want to know why I love you more and more every day?”

          She says, ‟Yes, my love, tell me.”

          With his final breath, he tells her ‟Because you make me feel like a kid again.”

          Comment


          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            We used to call those shaggy dog stories.
        • Panhead John
          Club Member
          • Aug 2020
          • 950
          • Houston, Texas
          • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
            Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
            SnS For the Kettle
            Set of Grill Grates
            Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
            Rotisserie For The Kettle
            J. A. Henckels Knives
            Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
            Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

          Click image for larger version

Name:	294F9F9A-4267-4E18-88B1-BF45A8989225.jpeg
Views:	183
Size:	52.7 KB
ID:	959099

          Comment

          • Panhead John
            Club Member
            • Aug 2020
            • 950
            • Houston, Texas
            • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
              Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
              SnS For the Kettle
              Set of Grill Grates
              Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
              Rotisserie For The Kettle
              J. A. Henckels Knives
              Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
              Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

            Click image for larger version

Name:	F8ABB813-445E-491A-ADD0-19789181F6B3.jpeg
Views:	182
Size:	73.0 KB
ID:	959117

            Comment

            • Panhead John
              Club Member
              • Aug 2020
              • 950
              • Houston, Texas
              • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
                Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
                SnS For the Kettle
                Set of Grill Grates
                Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
                Rotisserie For The Kettle
                J. A. Henckels Knives
                Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
                Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

              Click image for larger version

Name:	209B8488-571A-4AFF-9A59-904181EFB74E.jpeg
Views:	182
Size:	179.1 KB
ID:	959119

              Comment


              • 58limited
                58limited commented
                Editing a comment
                That was me yesterday but with twice the stuff, and the cops thing crossed my mind.

              • Mosca
                Mosca commented
                Editing a comment
                That’s three good ones in a row...

              • Clark
                Clark commented
                Editing a comment
                I thought you wore glasses.
            • frigate
              Club Member
              • Aug 2019
              • 121
              • East Quogue, NY

              Click image for larger version

Name:	130880552_3841344139261611_1209759260274382222_n.jpg
Views:	162
Size:	28.4 KB
ID:	959319Click image for larger version

Name:	beer-wine.jpg
Views:	156
Size:	26.6 KB
ID:	959320Click image for larger version

Name:	shower.jpg
Views:	159
Size:	28.0 KB
ID:	959321Click image for larger version

Name:	home schooling.jpg
Views:	157
Size:	90.7 KB
ID:	959322Click image for larger version

Name:	food.jpg
Views:	163
Size:	55.0 KB
ID:	959323

              Comment


              • Panhead John
                Panhead John commented
                Editing a comment
                Hilarious dude!😂😂

              • SheilaAnn
                SheilaAnn commented
                Editing a comment
                🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
            • frigate
              Club Member
              • Aug 2019
              • 121
              • East Quogue, NY

              Click image for larger version

Name:	phone wall.jpg
Views:	161
Size:	80.2 KB
ID:	959351 Some more.

              Comment


              • HawkerXP
                HawkerXP commented
                Editing a comment
                Only one is showing. The phone on wall.

              • JCGrill
                JCGrill commented
                Editing a comment
                And if you left your house the person calling couldn't reach you. And guess what? THEY CALLED BACK LATER!

              • jharner
                jharner commented
                Editing a comment
                Mine did not have buttons to press

            Announcement

            Collapse

            Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

            SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
            Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
            See more
            See less
            Working...
            X
            false
            0
            Guest
            500
            ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
            false
            false
            {"count":0,"link":"/forum/announcements/","debug":""}
            Meat-Up in Memphis

            Spotlight

            These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

            These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

            Use our links when you buy things

            Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

            If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

            slow n sear
            The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

            Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


            The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

            the good one grill
            The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

            Click here to read our complete review


            Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

            Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
            The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

            Click here to read our detailed review and to order


            The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

            Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
            The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

            Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


            The Undisputed Champion!

            thermapen
            The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

            Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


            Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

            Grilla pellet smoker
            We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

            Click here for our review on this unique smoker


            Delta by Nuke,
            Stylish and Affordable
            Gaucho Grill

            Weber Genesis Grill
            Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

            Click here to read our complete review


            Genesis II E-335
            A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

            Weber Genesis Grill
            Webers� Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

            Click here to read our complete review


            GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

            grill grates
            GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

            Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


            Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

            PK 360 grill
            The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

            Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

            Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


            Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

            kareubequ bbq smoker

            The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

            Click here for our review of this superb smoker


            Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

            masterbuilt gas smoker
            This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175? to 350?F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

            Click here to read our detailed review


            Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

            maverick PT55 thermometer
            A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

            Click here to read our complete review


            Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

            Grilla pellet smoker
            FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

            Click here for our review of this unique device


            The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

            NK-22-Ck Grill
            Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

            Click here for more about what makes this grill special


            Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

            Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill
            Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

            Click here to read our detailed review and to order