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Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
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  • MTurney
    Club Member
    • Feb 2020
    • 261
    • Grapevine, TX

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      They're sidelined waiting to be sanitized.

    • RonB
      RonB commented
      Editing a comment
      R u talkin' about a basket full of hands??

    • Donw
      Donw commented
      Editing a comment
      Hell learned well from the airlines and there is now an extra fee for hand-baskets. Always pays to read the fine print.
  • ofelles
    Club Member
    • Jun 2018
    • 2432
    • Brentwood CA
    • Yoder YS640 on Comp cart
      Klose 20x42 Charcoal Grill
      LSG Insulated Cabinet
      Jumbo Joe
      VacMaster Pro 380 sealer
      FireBoard and Pit Bull fan
      Thermoworks Signal
      Thermoworks Dot
      Thermopen Mk4

    Toooooo much time on my hands!

    Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

    Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?


    If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?


    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?


    Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

    Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

    Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

    Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

    Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

    Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

    Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

    Why is bra singular and panties plural?

    Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

    How come abbreviated is such a long word?

    Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

    Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

    Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

    Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

    Comment


    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Because I said so, that’s why!
      Last edited by Panhead John; December 17, 2020, 07:33 AM.

    • Huskee
      Huskee commented
      Editing a comment
      How come 'putting the garden out' and 'putting the garden in' mean the same thing?

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      SheilaAnn --perfect.

      Panhead John -- you forgot the "gawdamit" as in "Because I said so, that's why, gawdamit!"
  • Clark
    Club Member
    • Mar 2020
    • 192
    • Broken Arrow, OK.

    When I was 12 years old my folks asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

    I said "I wanna watch."

    That night, they let me.

    Comment


    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Lights on or lights off?

    • SheilaAnn
      SheilaAnn commented
      Editing a comment
      No, ewwwww, @Clark

      (Just came off binging Schitts Creek)

    • Santamarina
      Santamarina commented
      Editing a comment
      🤮🤮🤮
  • Craigar
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 1117
    • Papillion, NE
    • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
      * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
      * - Slow 'N Sear
      * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
      * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
      * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
      * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
      * - Thermoworks Dot
      * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
      * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
      * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
      * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
      * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
      * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

    Ah yes, the memories of childhood:



    Comment


    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      I know y’all ain’t gonna believe this, coming from me, but I had a few whuppins when I was younger. My dad would get the belt out and we’d have to bend over the bed. Last time it happened I was 46.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      I was so good growing up that my parents never had to discipline me, but my mother in law used a wooden spoon on my wife. One time she broke the spoon. My wife also used the wooden spoon, although as I remember, it was more a threat than an actual occurrence.

    • Craigar
      Craigar commented
      Editing a comment
      I hated going to the county fair every year as a kid. That's when mom would stock up on yardsticks in the commercial buildings. Once she had broken all the yardsticks for the year, it was hot wheels track (NEVER PLAY WITH HOT WHEELS WHEN MOM IS OUT OF YARDSTICKS!) flyswatters, but never a wooden spoon.
  • fracmeister
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 1363
    • Sprang, TX
    • Dances with lemmings

      (and smokes on a Yoder 640, raises bees and shoots a .408 WIndrunner) "come la notte i furti miei seconda"

    Click image for larger version

Name:	131612313_10224262226281006_6031561192106590219_n.jpg
Views:	194
Size:	57.9 KB
ID:	957646

    Comment


    • Stuey1515
      Stuey1515 commented
      Editing a comment
      This, I like this, sums it up perfectly!!
  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 242
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

    NEWSFLASH!! Get yer OWN jet-powered Volkswagen New Beetle: https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/7241823593.html
    Last edited by Foehn Watts; December 17, 2020, 12:35 PM.

    Comment


    • Jfrosty27
      Jfrosty27 commented
      Editing a comment
      Wow. That’s just crazy. But in a cool kind of way. 😳😉
  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 638
    • North Central Iowa
    • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
      Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks ThermoPop
      Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    Public Service Announcement:

    Comment


    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      I've done it twice here, today. Probably should of done it 3 times.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Panhead John you're supposed to delete it BEFORE you post it, not after, when the OP has already been informed of your post.

    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Dude, I’m drunk. Leave me alone.
      Joking Bogy! 😂
      Last edited by Panhead John; December 17, 2020, 07:17 PM.
  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 242
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

    On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

    Comment

    • Foehn Watts
      Club Member
      • Apr 2019
      • 242
      • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

      Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint;

      ‟That will be $0.05 please sir”.

      ‟Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too”

      ‟Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir”.

      ‟Damnnn, OK and a packet of crisps”.

      ‟0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together”.

      ‟This is astonishing! Can I speak to the owner of this place, I would like to thank him”.

      ‟Oh, not just now, he is busy, he is upstairs with my wife”.

      ‟...What is he doing upstairs with your wife?”

      ‟Same thing I’m doing down here with his business”.

      Comment

      • Foehn Watts
        Club Member
        • Apr 2019
        • 242
        • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

        John found a few old buddies and ended up drinking late into the night.

        When he finally returned home at 3AM, he was expecting to be scolded, beaten and taunted by his wife. He was so drunk he passed out on the sofa.

        The next morning he wakes up to find his wife humming tunes happily. She brings him breakfast, coffee and gives him a good time too.

        Shocked, John asks "I came home late at night, very drunk and also missed our family dinner. Why are you so happy about it?"

        Wife: "Well, you were very drunk and came home late at night. You puked on your pants before crashing on the sofa. I tried to remove your pants to clean them and keep you warm. But you kept saying Don't touch me, don't touch me. I have a wife."

        Comment

        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 242
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

          An American working in London visits a rural pub in the west country

          There are three farmers sitting at a table and he can't help but overhear their discussion.

          "I reckons its like TrrrrrrrrrUUUUUUUMMMP!" says the first farmer ending the sound with a triumphant squeaking crescendo

          "No no, it's more like Trrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooooomp" responds the second farmer, elongating the middle of the word with a deep "ooo" sound.

          "Yer both wrong, It's more like TrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRMmmmmmmmPH" exclaims the third farmer flapping his lips with the effort of forcing the air out.

          The American gets more frustrated with each proclamation. He's been poked and prodded about his country's President for the last 3 years at work, and finally feeling enough is enough, and that his country is being mocked, he decides to let off some steam.

          He strides up to the table and says "Look, It's just Trump, TRUMP. There is no need to make a mockery out of it!"

          He then strides out the pub feeling he's said his piece.

          The third farmer looks at the other two and says "How does he know what an Elephant fart sounds like?"

          Comment


          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            An old one from my high school days:
            What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant farting in a tunnel?
            One is a BARoom and the other is a BaROOM!
        • Donw
          Club Member
          • Jul 2017
          • 3389

          One night, George went to the bar. He's having a good time, having some drinks, all is well. As the night goes on, George keeps drinking and ends up throwing up all over his shirt.

          George: “My wife's going to kill me! She's going to know i stayed out all night and got drunk! "

          Bartender Bob says " It's fine, just put a 20 in your shirt pocket and tell your wife some guy here threw up on you and gave you 20 dollars to get the shirt cleaned."

          " Great idea!" George exclaims, and proceeds to put the money in his pocket.

          He takes a cab home and as he walks through the door, his wife is standing there upset.

          His wife says "Look at you! You're drunk! You've thrown up all over yourself!"

          George says “No no honey, you've got it all wrong! While at the bar some guy threw up on my shirt and slipped 20 bucks in my pocket to get it cleaned! "

          Wife: " But theres 40 in the pocket... "

          George: "Oh yeah, he pooped in my pants, too."

          Comment


          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            I laughed too much at that one. I cared for my father who suffered Alzheimer's. I was cleaning him up after his first time crapping his pants. He said, "What happened?" I told him he had crapped his pants. Adamantly he stated, "I didn't do that!"
        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 242
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

          One day, a fourteen-year-old weasel went down to the local bar.

          The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.”

          The weasel asks, “What can I have?”

          The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”

          “Pop!” goes the weasel.

          Comment


          • SheilaAnn
            SheilaAnn commented
            Editing a comment
            🤦🏼‍♀️
        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 242
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


          A bartender told me that the actor from No Country For Old Men started a fight in his bar.

          I asked, "Javier Bardem"?

          He said "No, but I gave him a warning"

          Comment


          • HawkerXP
            HawkerXP commented
            Editing a comment
            Ooooo
        • ofelles
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 2432
          • Brentwood CA
          • Yoder YS640 on Comp cart
            Klose 20x42 Charcoal Grill
            LSG Insulated Cabinet
            Jumbo Joe
            VacMaster Pro 380 sealer
            FireBoard and Pit Bull fan
            Thermoworks Signal
            Thermoworks Dot
            Thermopen Mk4

          Comment

          Announcement

          Collapse

          Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

          SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
          Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
          See more
          See less
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          Meat-Up in Memphis

          Spotlight

          These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

          These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

          Use our links when you buy things

          Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

          If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

          slow n sear
          The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

          Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


          The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

          the good one grill
          The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

          Click here to read our complete review


          Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

          Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
          The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order


          The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

          Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
          The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

          Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


          The Undisputed Champion!

          thermapen
          The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

          Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


          Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

          Grilla pellet smoker
          We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

          Click here for our review on this unique smoker


          Delta by Nuke,
          Stylish and Affordable
          Gaucho Grill

          Weber Genesis Grill
          Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

          Click here to read our complete review


          Genesis II E-335
          A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

          Weber Genesis Grill
          Webers� Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

          Click here to read our complete review


          GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

          grill grates
          GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

          Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


          Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

          PK 360 grill
          The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

          Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

          Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


          Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

          kareubequ bbq smoker

          The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

          Click here for our review of this superb smoker


          Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

          masterbuilt gas smoker
          This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175? to 350?F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

          Click here to read our detailed review


          Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

          maverick PT55 thermometer
          A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

          Click here to read our complete review


          Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

          Grilla pellet smoker
          FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

          Click here for our review of this unique device


          The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

          NK-22-Ck Grill
          Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

          Click here for more about what makes this grill special


          Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

          Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill
          Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

          Click here to read our detailed review and to order