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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

This summer's 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis IS OFFICIALLY RESCHEDULED FOR March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info here!
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  • MTurney
    Former Member
    • Feb 2020
    • 262
    • Grapevine, TX

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      They're sidelined waiting to be sanitized.

    • RonB
      RonB commented
      Editing a comment
      R u talkin' about a basket full of hands??

    • Donw
      Donw commented
      Editing a comment
      Hell learned well from the airlines and there is now an extra fee for hand-baskets. Always pays to read the fine print.
  • ofelles
    Club Member
    • Jun 2018
    • 2873
    • Brentwood CA
    • LSG large insulated cabinet
      Yoder YS640
      David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
      Weber Jumbo Joe
      FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
      Thermapen Mk4

    Toooooo much time on my hands!

    Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

    Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?


    If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?


    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?


    Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

    Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

    Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

    Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

    Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

    Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

    Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

    Why is bra singular and panties plural?

    Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

    How come abbreviated is such a long word?

    Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

    Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

    Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

    Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

    Comment


    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Because I said so, that’s why!
      Last edited by Panhead John; December 17, 2020, 07:33 AM.

    • Huskee
      Huskee commented
      Editing a comment
      How come 'putting the garden out' and 'putting the garden in' mean the same thing?

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      SheilaAnn --perfect.

      Panhead John -- you forgot the "gawdamit" as in "Because I said so, that's why, gawdamit!"
  • Clark
    Club Member
    • Mar 2020
    • 373
    • Broken Arrow, OK.

    When I was 12 years old my folks asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

    I said "I wanna watch."

    That night, they let me.

    Comment


    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Lights on or lights off?

    • SheilaAnn
      SheilaAnn commented
      Editing a comment
      No, ewwwww, @Clark

      (Just came off binging Schitts Creek)

    • Santamarina
      Santamarina commented
      Editing a comment
      🤮🤮🤮
  • Craigar
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 1133
    • Papillion, NE
    • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
      * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
      * - Slow 'N Sear
      * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
      * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
      * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
      * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
      * - Thermoworks Dot
      * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
      * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
      * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
      * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
      * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
      * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

    Ah yes, the memories of childhood:



    Comment


    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      I know y’all ain’t gonna believe this, coming from me, but I had a few whuppins when I was younger. My dad would get the belt out and we’d have to bend over the bed. Last time it happened I was 46.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      I was so good growing up that my parents never had to discipline me, but my mother in law used a wooden spoon on my wife. One time she broke the spoon. My wife also used the wooden spoon, although as I remember, it was more a threat than an actual occurrence.

    • Craigar
      Craigar commented
      Editing a comment
      I hated going to the county fair every year as a kid. That's when mom would stock up on yardsticks in the commercial buildings. Once she had broken all the yardsticks for the year, it was hot wheels track (NEVER PLAY WITH HOT WHEELS WHEN MOM IS OUT OF YARDSTICKS!) flyswatters, but never a wooden spoon.
  • fracmeister
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 1356
    • Sprang, TX
    • Dances with lemmings

      (and smokes on a Yoder 640, raises bees and shoots a .408 WIndrunner) "come la notte i furti miei seconda"

    Click image for larger version

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Views:	240
Size:	57.9 KB
ID:	957646

    Comment


    • Stuey1515
      Stuey1515 commented
      Editing a comment
      This, I like this, sums it up perfectly!!
  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 416
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

    NEWSFLASH!! Get yer OWN jet-powered Volkswagen New Beetle: https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/7241823593.html
    Last edited by Foehn Watts; December 17, 2020, 12:35 PM.

    Comment


    • Jfrosty27
      Jfrosty27 commented
      Editing a comment
      Wow. That’s just crazy. But in a cool kind of way. 😳😉
  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 681
    • North Central Iowa
    • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
      Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks ThermoPop
      Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    Public Service Announcement:

    Comment


    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      I've done it twice here, today. Probably should of done it 3 times.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Panhead John you're supposed to delete it BEFORE you post it, not after, when the OP has already been informed of your post.

    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Dude, I’m drunk. Leave me alone.
      Joking Bogy! 😂
      Last edited by Panhead John; December 17, 2020, 07:17 PM.
  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 416
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

    On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

    Comment

    • Foehn Watts
      Club Member
      • Apr 2019
      • 416
      • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

      Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint;

      ‟That will be $0.05 please sir”.

      ‟Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too”

      ‟Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir”.

      ‟Damnnn, OK and a packet of crisps”.

      ‟0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together”.

      ‟This is astonishing! Can I speak to the owner of this place, I would like to thank him”.

      ‟Oh, not just now, he is busy, he is upstairs with my wife”.

      ‟...What is he doing upstairs with your wife?”

      ‟Same thing I’m doing down here with his business”.

      Comment

      • Foehn Watts
        Club Member
        • Apr 2019
        • 416
        • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

        John found a few old buddies and ended up drinking late into the night.

        When he finally returned home at 3AM, he was expecting to be scolded, beaten and taunted by his wife. He was so drunk he passed out on the sofa.

        The next morning he wakes up to find his wife humming tunes happily. She brings him breakfast, coffee and gives him a good time too.

        Shocked, John asks "I came home late at night, very drunk and also missed our family dinner. Why are you so happy about it?"

        Wife: "Well, you were very drunk and came home late at night. You puked on your pants before crashing on the sofa. I tried to remove your pants to clean them and keep you warm. But you kept saying Don't touch me, don't touch me. I have a wife."

        Comment

        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 416
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

          An American working in London visits a rural pub in the west country

          There are three farmers sitting at a table and he can't help but overhear their discussion.

          "I reckons its like TrrrrrrrrrUUUUUUUMMMP!" says the first farmer ending the sound with a triumphant squeaking crescendo

          "No no, it's more like Trrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooooomp" responds the second farmer, elongating the middle of the word with a deep "ooo" sound.

          "Yer both wrong, It's more like TrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRMmmmmmmmPH" exclaims the third farmer flapping his lips with the effort of forcing the air out.

          The American gets more frustrated with each proclamation. He's been poked and prodded about his country's President for the last 3 years at work, and finally feeling enough is enough, and that his country is being mocked, he decides to let off some steam.

          He strides up to the table and says "Look, It's just Trump, TRUMP. There is no need to make a mockery out of it!"

          He then strides out the pub feeling he's said his piece.

          The third farmer looks at the other two and says "How does he know what an Elephant fart sounds like?"

          Comment


          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            An old one from my high school days:
            What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant farting in a tunnel?
            One is a BARoom and the other is a BaROOM!
        • Donw
          Club Member
          • Jul 2017
          • 3754

          One night, George went to the bar. He's having a good time, having some drinks, all is well. As the night goes on, George keeps drinking and ends up throwing up all over his shirt.

          George: “My wife's going to kill me! She's going to know i stayed out all night and got drunk! "

          Bartender Bob says " It's fine, just put a 20 in your shirt pocket and tell your wife some guy here threw up on you and gave you 20 dollars to get the shirt cleaned."

          " Great idea!" George exclaims, and proceeds to put the money in his pocket.

          He takes a cab home and as he walks through the door, his wife is standing there upset.

          His wife says "Look at you! You're drunk! You've thrown up all over yourself!"

          George says “No no honey, you've got it all wrong! While at the bar some guy threw up on my shirt and slipped 20 bucks in my pocket to get it cleaned! "

          Wife: " But theres 40 in the pocket... "

          George: "Oh yeah, he pooped in my pants, too."

          Comment


          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            I laughed too much at that one. I cared for my father who suffered Alzheimer's. I was cleaning him up after his first time crapping his pants. He said, "What happened?" I told him he had crapped his pants. Adamantly he stated, "I didn't do that!"
        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 416
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

          One day, a fourteen-year-old weasel went down to the local bar.

          The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.”

          The weasel asks, “What can I have?”

          The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”

          “Pop!” goes the weasel.

          Comment


          • SheilaAnn
            SheilaAnn commented
            Editing a comment
            🤦🏼‍♀️
        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 416
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


          A bartender told me that the actor from No Country For Old Men started a fight in his bar.

          I asked, "Javier Bardem"?

          He said "No, but I gave him a warning"

          Comment


          • HawkerXP
            HawkerXP commented
            Editing a comment
            Ooooo
        • ofelles
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 2873
          • Brentwood CA
          • LSG large insulated cabinet
            Yoder YS640
            David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
            Weber Jumbo Joe
            FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
            Thermapen Mk4

          Comment

          Announcement

          Collapse

          2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

          This summer's 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis IS OFFICIALLY RESCHEDULED FOR March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info here!
          See more
          See less
          Working...
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          500
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          Yes
          Meat-Up in Memphis