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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

This summer's 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis IS OFFICIALLY RESCHEDULED FOR March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info here!
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  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 1790
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    .,.
    Attached Files

    Comment

    • Panhead John
      Club Member
      • Aug 2020
      • 1790
      • Houston, Texas
      • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
        Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
        SnS For the Kettle
        Set of Grill Grates
        Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
        Rotisserie For The Kettle
        J. A. Henckels Knives
        Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
        Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

      .,. Click image for larger version

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      Comment

      • Panhead John
        Club Member
        • Aug 2020
        • 1790
        • Houston, Texas
        • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
          Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
          SnS For the Kettle
          Set of Grill Grates
          Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
          Rotisserie For The Kettle
          J. A. Henckels Knives
          Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
          Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

        ...
        Attached Files

        Comment

        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 418
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

          "Jocks of JFK High! This small change in diet can boost your physique FOREVER! Head to the gym to find out how!"

          Puzzled, he pulls it off and continues down the hall. Just a few lockers down, another catches his eye.

          "Hey goth girls! Tired of dark eyeliner that just runs all day? One simple trick will fix it! Find out in the gym!"

          "OK, I'll bite," the principal chuckles to himself. He walks to the gymnasium, pushes open the door...and immediately gets stuck. He looks down and sees the floor covered with super-glue.

          He looks around and sees several students in the same pickle--dramaturgs, cheerleaders, artists--all desperately trying to free themselves.

          Outraged, he removes his shoes to unstick himself and races around the school until he finds a kid placing a note, this time aimed at math geeks, on yet another locker. He slaps the note out of his hand and shouts:

          *"Quit posting clique-bait everywhere!"*

          Comment

          • Foehn Watts
            Club Member
            • Apr 2019
            • 418
            • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

            These gave me some serious flashback to high school band (4 years, alto sax and bagpipes!):


            How do you get two piccolos to play in tune? Shoot one. (kinda like bagpipes. . . )

            What is the best use for a clarinet? Kindling.

            What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower? You can tune a lawn mower.

            What is the difference between an oboe and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

            How many trumpets does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the rest of the section will talk about how they could do it higher and faster.

            How many trombones does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ha, trombones can't get that high.

            What do trumpet players use for birth control? Their personality.

            How go you make a trombone sound like a French horn? Put your hand in the bell and play the wrong notes.

            How do you make a French horn sound like a trombone? Take your hand out of the bell and play loudly with bad tone..

            How can you tell a drummer is at your door? The knocking speeds up.

            How do you get a guitar player to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of them.

            Comment


            • glitchy
              glitchy commented
              Editing a comment
              Not as good as bag pipes, but my son played Baritone. When he first started, I came home from work one day and asked my wife where the dying elephant was. He actually got pretty decent after a while at least.

            • Panhead John
              Panhead John commented
              Editing a comment
              Red Man “I can one up you on this one”. Bagpipes!?! .......I bow to the master. My condolences.
              glitchy .....a dying elephant. 😂 My brain is churning, this could make a great new post. “Music Lessons From Hell”

            • surfdog
              surfdog commented
              Editing a comment
              What’s the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
              A bassoon burns longer.

              What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
              Throwing a banjo into a dumpster without hitting the sides.

              How can you spot the trombone players kids at a park?
              They can’t swing.

              What do you say to a guitarist in a suit?
              Will the defendant please rise.

              LOL I’ll be here all week...don’t forget there’s a two drink minimum and please tip your server.
          • Mosca
            Charter Member
            • Oct 2014
            • 3956
            • PA
            • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

            Click image for larger version

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            Comment


            • surfdog
              surfdog commented
              Editing a comment
              This is why I use my iPad...my keyboard would be a mess.

              Though truth be told...I have put several in the dishwasher! LOL True story...they turn out fine. Do NOT use heat to dry though! And top shelf only. Only one was murdered...easy enough to replace.
          • RonB
            Club Member
            • Apr 2016
            • 14104
            • Near Richmond VA
            • Weber Performer Deluxe
              SNS
              Pizza insert
              Rotisserie
              Smokenator 1000
              Cookshack Smokette Elite
              2 Thermapens
              Chefalarm
              Dot
              lots of probes.
              CyberQ

            This is how bad the economy is:



            My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

            CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

            Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

            A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

            If the bank returns your check marked ‟Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

            McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

            Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

            Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

            A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

            A picture is now only worth 200 words.

            When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

            The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

            And, finally….

            I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

            Comment


            • Foehn Watts
              Foehn Watts commented
              Editing a comment
              What was good before is good again!

            • gcdmd
              gcdmd commented
              Editing a comment
              Would it be too political if we updated the Bill and Hillary one to Donald and Melania?
          • ofelles
            Club Member
            • Jun 2018
            • 2894
            • Brentwood CA
            • LSG large insulated cabinet
              Yoder YS640
              David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
              Weber Jumbo Joe
              FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
              Thermapen Mk4

            I received this from a friend today.....they were just kidding right!?!?


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            Last edited by ofelles; December 1, 2020, 04:38 PM.

            Comment


            • RichieB
              RichieB commented
              Editing a comment
              If weren't kidding, you might want to re-evaluate your definition of "friend".

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              True Enough, Brother...

              Other then them there three things, though, I oughtta be thereabouts right at Golden, by now, betwixt me an my dreams lol !

            • surfdog
              surfdog commented
              Editing a comment
              Well yeah...though I’ve been told that I have great talent.
              But I make up for it with a pompous personality. LOL Wait, what?
          • MTurney
            Former Member
            • Feb 2020
            • 262
            • Grapevine, TX

            ...
            Attached Files

            Comment


            • Panhead John
              Panhead John commented
              Editing a comment
              It’d be worth a shot for me. I only attract women in their late 20’s these days.

            • gcdmd
              gcdmd commented
              Editing a comment
              Bogy
              But what a way to go.

              A friend of mine's wife turned forty, and he commented that maybe he should trade her in for two twenties. To which she replied, "But, Dear, you're not wired for two-twenty."

            • Foehn Watts
              Foehn Watts commented
              Editing a comment
              Most Excellent gcdmd !!
          • PBCDad
            Club Member
            • Jan 2016
            • 420
            • Seattle area
            • Pit Barrel Cooker - 2015
              22" Kettle + SnS - 2016
              Thermapen - 2016
              Jambo 24x48 offset smoker (Big Tex) - 2017
              Camp Chef Denali griddle - 2018
              Billows and Signals - 2020

            tbob4 this one's for you.

            ​​​​​​​Bob, Tim, and Susan are sitting together in the booth when the waitress approaches. She hands them their menus and says, "Good afternoon fellas! Welcome to Ruby Taste Kitchen! Before we get started, might I ask if you're here to celebrate a special occasion?"

            Susan pipes up, "It's Bob's birthday!"

            "Oh well happy birthday! Make sure you save room because you'll get a free dessert!"

            Tim and Susan smile and nod, but Bob looks a bit confused. He asks her to repeat herself.

            "Sure thing, happy birthday! Save room and you'll get a free dessert."

            There's a moment of silence before Bob says, "Vroom, vroom!"

            Comment


            • MBMorgan
              MBMorgan commented
              Editing a comment
              ... groan ...

            • Foehn Watts
              Foehn Watts commented
              Editing a comment
              OMG. I had to read that one out loud!

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Foehn Watts

              Many of us, (me included,) are not well-versed in Hooked on Phonics, Sister!
              Last edited by Mr. Bones; December 2, 2020, 10:11 PM.
          • ofelles
            Club Member
            • Jun 2018
            • 2894
            • Brentwood CA
            • LSG large insulated cabinet
              Yoder YS640
              David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
              Weber Jumbo Joe
              FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
              Thermapen Mk4

            More idle thoughts!

            Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

            The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

            Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

            If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

            We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

            Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

            I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

            Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ' In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

            I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

            Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

            A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

            I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

            You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

            There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

            I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

            You're never too old to learn something stupid.

            To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

            Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

            Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

            Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

            I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

            When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.


            Comment


            • ComfortablyNumb
              ComfortablyNumb commented
              Editing a comment
              I was going to argue your first point, but then thought maybe I should just take your advice! ;-)

            • gcdmd
              gcdmd commented
              Editing a comment
              "If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong."

              It might not be a good idea to use that one in a "discussion" with your spouse. Such "discussions" already generate more heat than light.

            • surfdog
              surfdog commented
              Editing a comment
              I’ve been accused of the fifth one more than once. LOL
          • Mosca
            Charter Member
            • Oct 2014
            • 3956
            • PA
            • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

            Click image for larger version

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            Comment

            • ofelles
              Club Member
              • Jun 2018
              • 2894
              • Brentwood CA
              • LSG large insulated cabinet
                Yoder YS640
                David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
                Weber Jumbo Joe
                FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
                Thermapen Mk4

              Wife: I just came home to a dead chicken!

              Me: Cook it.

              Wife: Mean!

              Me: It’s a chicken. If we weren’t meant to eat them, God wouldn’t have provided so many recipes that make
              them so tasty.

              Wife: It was my pet you jerk……….my Dad gave me that chicken………..so mean. You could have at least
              PRETENDED to care!!

              Me: Ok I’m sorry. If I were there we would give it have proper funeral services. Prehaps something similar
              to a cremation. At about 375°F while wrapped in a soothing blanket of Cajun seasoning and a squeeze of
              lemon juice.

              Comment


              • Mr. Bones
                Mr. Bones commented
                Editing a comment
                Here's hopin ya either gotta Hailuvva spiffy recliner, or couch.

                Or an outdoor dog...

                (I've always advised guys to build a WAY Nicer doghouse than they think is necessary, on accounta they's gonna end sleepin there, eventually.)
            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 686
              • North Central Iowa
              • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks ThermoPop
                Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Comment


              • ofelles
                ofelles commented
                Editing a comment
                another reason I don't do social media!

              • Bogy
                Bogy commented
                Editing a comment
                Its the reason my Alexa is in a box at.our vacation home.

              • ComfortablyNumb
                ComfortablyNumb commented
                Editing a comment
                Bogy I hear you. I said I'd like to shoot the President in front of Alexa and five minutes later the Secret Service was kicking in my door!
            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 686
              • North Central Iowa
              • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks ThermoPop
                Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Comment


              • Foehn Watts
                Foehn Watts commented
                Editing a comment
                Bogy -reminds me of the lead trombone player in our marching band: he was the biggest clown ever. From him I first heard of "Alice's Restaurant"--he recited the monologue in its entirety. We were pulling weeds for a band fundraiser and the weed pullin' took way longer than it should have, we were all laughing so hard..
                When we drove to Alaska with our kids we made sure to play it for them, and they loved it!
                Last edited by Foehn Watts; December 4, 2020, 12:05 PM. Reason: Sheesh! spelling and punctuation.

              • Mark V
                Mark V commented
                Editing a comment
                My parents underbid ... and I kept it up through high school.

            Announcement

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            2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

            This summer's 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis IS OFFICIALLY RESCHEDULED FOR March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info here!
            See more
            See less
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            Meat-Up in Memphis