Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 5 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

There are 4 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse

2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

This summer's 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis IS OFFICIALLY RESCHEDULED FOR March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info here!
See more
See less

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • wu7y
    Club Member
    • Oct 2017
    • 193
    • Gillette Wyoming

    Click image for larger version

Name:	monkeys.jpg
Views:	260
Size:	26.3 KB
ID:	944501

    Comment


    • surfdog
      surfdog commented
      Editing a comment
      I actually used a similar one to that before...and my wife at the time looked at me dumbfounded and said, “What the heck are you talking about?” And then it hit her. LOL
  • Clark
    Club Member
    • Mar 2020
    • 373
    • Broken Arrow, OK.

    I saw a poor old lady fall down after tripping on a step. At least I presume she was poor...she only had $1.15 in her purse.

    My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

    My wife has been missing for a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst so I went to the thrift shop to get her clothes back.

    Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed fine until he stuck his index finger up my rear! Do you think I should change dentists?

    Comment


    • ComfortablyNumb
      ComfortablyNumb commented
      Editing a comment
      Third one reminds me:

      I went to the river to drown my sorrows, but my wife kept floating back.

      Marriage is like taking a bath, it's not so hot once you get used to it.

    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Clark ComfortablyNumb Hilarious! 👍

    • wu7y
      wu7y commented
      Editing a comment
      I don't know. I guess it depends on where your teeth are. Did you misplace your dentures?
  • ComfortablyNumb
    Club Member
    • May 2017
    • 3680
    • Northeast Washington
    • KBQ C-60
      PK360
      Thermoworks Smoke
      Thermoworks Thermopop
      Thermoworks Dot

    Click image for larger version

Name:	127471978_3554200074663342_311710611654326570_n.jpg
Views:	247
Size:	24.9 KB
ID:	944633

    Comment

    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 681
      • North Central Iowa
      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
        Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks ThermoPop
        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      Clark's post made me think of this. Not sure if it really is originally from Red Skelton, but it certainly sounds like him. Loved him and regularly watched his show.

      ​​​​​​​RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
      1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
      2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
      3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
      4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
      5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
      6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
      7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
      8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
      9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
      10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
      11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
      12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
      13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
      I said, "Dust!".
      Can't you just hear him say all of these?
      I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.

      Comment


      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        Still LOVES me some Red Skelton, Brother!

        Jackie Gleason / Art Carney, too!

        Lucille Ball, anybody?

        Some th Funniest I ever seen come down th pike!

        I'm sure I've posted some Red vidya(s) afore, over yonder to th Jokes Channel.)

        Wishin a Safe an Happy Thanksgivin to alla yall there, Family, Friends, an Flock!

        Blessed Be, Yall!

        Bogy
        Last edited by Mr. Bones; November 26, 2020, 06:52 AM. Reason: Reason: Wasn't quite windy enough... (Elaboration On a Theme sounds nicer, though lol!) :-)
    • Panhead John
      Club Member
      • Aug 2020
      • 1755
      • Houston, Texas
      • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
        Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
        SnS For the Kettle
        Set of Grill Grates
        Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
        Rotisserie For The Kettle
        J. A. Henckels Knives
        Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
        Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

      Along those lines.......
      Attached Files

      Comment


      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        Marriage-Free since 1985!

        Th Ol Timers always tol me as a youngun: Bones, now dontcha never find yerself to go bein fool enough to go gittin hit by th same train, twicet-like!

        May Th Good Lord rest their souls, fer all that they taught me; I am in Eternal Debt, an passin it along... hopefully it will help many, if they cain figger summat out, without their smartphones...

        Requiescat in pace
        Last edited by Mr. Bones; November 26, 2020, 03:27 AM.
    • Mosca
      Charter Member
      • Oct 2014
      • 3949
      • PA
      • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

      Click image for larger version

Name:	60B52717-6F14-4034-A43C-FE3E022DD55B.jpeg
Views:	240
Size:	95.5 KB
ID:	944648

      Comment


      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        when ya have PTSD, they's All Memory Foam Mattresses...
    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 681
      • North Central Iowa
      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
        Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks ThermoPop
        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      Comment

      • ofelles
        Club Member
        • Jun 2018
        • 2873
        • Brentwood CA
        • LSG large insulated cabinet
          Yoder YS640
          David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
          Weber Jumbo Joe
          FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
          Thermapen Mk4




        And here is a picture of Bogy at work

        Comment


        • Bogy
          Bogy commented
          Editing a comment
          ofelles you might or not be surprised to learn that how to do christenings/baptisms is a discussion topic when clergy get together these days. Squirt guns have been considered.

        • JCGrill
          JCGrill commented
          Editing a comment
          Who knew Facebook brined humor? Will they smoke it next?
      • ComfortablyNumb
        Club Member
        • May 2017
        • 3680
        • Northeast Washington
        • KBQ C-60
          PK360
          Thermoworks Smoke
          Thermoworks Thermopop
          Thermoworks Dot

        Click image for larger version

Name:	127640669_10218909071225898_4274170111795482249_n.jpg
Views:	234
Size:	43.7 KB
ID:	944777

        Comment

        • Panhead John
          Club Member
          • Aug 2020
          • 1755
          • Houston, Texas
          • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
            Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
            SnS For the Kettle
            Set of Grill Grates
            Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
            Rotisserie For The Kettle
            J. A. Henckels Knives
            Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
            Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

          https://www.theonion.com/cdc-shuts-d...imu-1845719500

          Comment

          • RonB
            Club Member
            • Apr 2016
            • 14070
            • Near Richmond VA
            • Weber Performer Deluxe
              SNS
              Pizza insert
              Rotisserie
              Smokenator 1000
              Cookshack Smokette Elite
              2 Thermapens
              Chefalarm
              Dot
              lots of probes.
              CyberQ

            The first one may have been posted before - I can't remember.
            Second one brings up bad memories. Lookin' at it again, I remember mercurochrome being the "good one" and merthiolate being the one that burns. Anyone else able to confirm the photo or my memory??

            Click image for larger version  Name:	3720f966-184a-480d-a38a-3b7006cb7a5f.jpg Views:	0 Size:	79.4 KB ID:	945055

            Click image for larger version  Name:	af11d363-d40c-41e5-8b79-9748e49de82d.jpg Views:	0 Size:	115.4 KB ID:	945056
            Last edited by RonB; November 25, 2020, 03:28 PM.

            Comment


            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Bogy Brother, jus be thankful it ain't in th front, where yer Beloved Cowboy Hat irritates it alla th time!

              I have, over a period of nigh onto 60 years, found th gills to be a right Godsend, though lol!
              Last edited by Mr. Bones; November 29, 2020, 07:53 PM.

            • jharner
              jharner commented
              Editing a comment
              Best known as monkey blood

            • Clark
              Clark commented
              Editing a comment
              I'm so old that I remember when that was the latest "wonder drug".
          • Mosca
            Charter Member
            • Oct 2014
            • 3949
            • PA
            • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

            Click image for larger version

Name:	35B04229-C8D9-43D0-9BA5-BCB6C0AF07C0.jpeg
Views:	225
Size:	119.8 KB
ID:	945270

            Comment


            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Could be true, haveta try such, but me???

              Ah'ma need me a MUCH BIGGER filter lol!!!!!
              Last edited by Mr. Bones; November 25, 2020, 08:31 PM.

            • jharner
              jharner commented
              Editing a comment
              To bad that filter fits a FORD
          • Mosca
            Charter Member
            • Oct 2014
            • 3949
            • PA
            • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

            Click image for larger version

Name:	C942DCE4-661C-4746-B57D-4633E6E83B35.jpeg
Views:	221
Size:	41.4 KB
ID:	945272

            Comment

            • Mosca
              Charter Member
              • Oct 2014
              • 3949
              • PA
              • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

              Click image for larger version

Name:	BFB21638-2526-4B1C-9180-134F52A6EBD5.jpeg
Views:	223
Size:	46.0 KB
ID:	945275

              Comment


              • HawkerXP
                HawkerXP commented
                Editing a comment
                Love it! I've got three of them!
            • RonB
              Club Member
              • Apr 2016
              • 14070
              • Near Richmond VA
              • Weber Performer Deluxe
                SNS
                Pizza insert
                Rotisserie
                Smokenator 1000
                Cookshack Smokette Elite
                2 Thermapens
                Chefalarm
                Dot
                lots of probes.
                CyberQ

              Hey Panhead John Here's some advice for you:

              Click image for larger version

Name:	collie.jpg
Views:	217
Size:	29.0 KB
ID:	945291

              Comment


              • Panhead John
                Panhead John commented
                Editing a comment
                Now you tell me! I’ve got 36 of em!

              • Mr. Bones
                Mr. Bones commented
                Editing a comment
                Panhead John

                Ha! LOL!!!

                Whatta Rube, I only bought 9, Brother!

                Happy Turkey Day, wait a few years til I git back Down Home, Good Lord willin, an th crick don't rise...

                If all systems still Check "GO", at that point, reckon ya'll be seein me, down yer way, now an again...

            Announcement

            Collapse

            2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

            This summer's 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis IS OFFICIALLY RESCHEDULED FOR March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info here!
            See more
            See less
            Working...
            X
            false
            0
            Guest
            500
            ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
            false
            false
            {"count":0,"link":"/forum/announcements/","debug":""}
            Yes
            Meat-Up in Memphis