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Jokes!

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    Why did the little mermaid wear sea shells?


    she was too small for d shells.

    Comment


    • Mosca
      Mosca commented
      Editing a comment
      Oof.

    Q: Why does Snoop Dogg always carry around a charcoal chimney and a grill grate?
    A: Fo sizzle

    (That right there is a scottranda original)

    Comment


    • Breadhead
      Breadhead commented
      Editing a comment
      He has to have something to cook his meth on.😡

    • Mosca
      Mosca commented
      Editing a comment
      Ever see Snoop and Martha Stewart together? They are insanely funny.

      https://youtu.be/1rFKtZJTZeo

    Found on the interwebs (no idea who to attribute this one to):


    Does this dog make my tree look fat?
    Click image for larger version

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    Comment


      Came across my news feed today.... A little racy maybe but...... The Struggle is Real!

      Click image for larger version

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      Comment


      • Mr. Bones
        Mr. Bones commented
        Editing a comment
        LMFAO!!!! Thanks Nate !!!
        Most times, it's good to be a bachelor!!!! ;-)
        (Most nights, as well!!!)

      • tbob4
        tbob4 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hahahahahahahaha! Hit's home like nothing I've ever seen. Showed the wife and she rolled her eyes. Love it.

      • JCBBQ
        JCBBQ commented
        Editing a comment
        My life in a nutshell.

      Couldn't get pic to show up cause i'm a bit slow. Worth a click.

      https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...04a713e8ac.jpg

      Comment


      • rip1877
        rip1877 commented
        Editing a comment
        I hope the drank first otherwise that beer underneath is going to be something else.

      Seen online: There are two types of people in the world; those who like closure

      Comment


      • Lowjiber
        Lowjiber commented
        Editing a comment
        There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

      A man went to his doctor complaining of constant migraines. "Nothing I do makes them go away!" The doctor gave him various medications, no relief. The doctor advised the man try alternative medicine such as acupuncture, but still nothing. Every day the man continued to have splitting headaches that made it impossible to concentrate. Finally, after exhausting all methods they could think of, the doctor said that in rare cases, castration can help relieve headaches. The man agreed, anything to get the headaches to stop.

      After surgery, the man was amazed - for the first time in years, he didn't have any headache! He was so excited, he didn't know what to do with himself. After profusely thanking the doctor, he went outside and could scarcely contain his joy. Everywhere he looked, things looked better than ever. He went out to a fine restaurant and the food tasted better than any food he had ever eaten. Finally he decided he would reward himself with a nice expensive new suit.

      He went into a fancy clothing store that was very well regarded and straight to the imported suits department. There he found a distinguished-looking tailor waiting to assist him. "I'm feeling great today, and I'd like to buy a new suit!" the man said.
      "Very well," said the tailor, "let me show you some things that I think would be just your style." The tailor took him over to the jackets first. "Now, it looks to me like you are a 40R with your left arm just a slight bit longer than your right." He went over to the rack, searched for a while and picked out a magnificent looking suit jacket. The man tried it on and was amazed.
      "This fits better than anything I've ever worn! How did you do that? You didn't even take a single measurement!"
      "Ah, I've been doing this a long time," said the tailor. "Now how about some pants?"
      Again, without taking any measurements, the tailor searched through the rack and came back with pants that not only matched the jacket, but again fit the man perfectly. Again, the man was astounded. "I've never seen anything like this in my entire life!"
      The tailor guided the man through a selection of shirts and ties, and the man was happier than ever. This tailor was certainly one of a kind.
      "Now, to complete your wardrobe, how about some new underclothes?" said the tailor. The man agreed readily. "It looks to me like large socks, medium undershirts, and large underpants."
      "Ah, I've finally got you!" said the man, "Your eyes have finally deceived you. I wear size medium underpants!"
      The tailor looked at the man with incredulity. "No, no, no, sir, I have to protest. Underpants that tight would cause the most horrendous headaches!"

      Comment


      • EdF
        EdF commented
        Editing a comment
        Well, that one got an "out loud" guffaw!

      Whenever a joke is that long you know you are being really set up for the punch line and that one delivered. I am still chuckling minutes later.

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        Deleted

        Last edited by David Parrish; December 8, 2016, 09:06 AM. Reason: Please refresh yourself with our guidelines.

        Comment


        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          Willy the first post says "tasteful jokes please". This is clearly not tasteful.

        • Spinaker
          Spinaker commented
          Editing a comment
          Pm it to me! I think I can handle it. Willy

        • Willy
          Willy commented
          Editing a comment
          Spinaker How do I PM?

        Now that is super funny and I am rolling around laughing as she is clearly enjoying herself. But also see that it can be really offensive to a bunch of people.

        Comment


        • Willy
          Willy commented
          Editing a comment
          I guess I have a not easily offended nature, but I'm afraid you might be right. I just HAD to try it.

        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          It's not the 'offensive' aspect, it's the violating of The Pit Guidelines. We have to remember we have members of all age groups and children may visit, so lewd and bawdy subject matter is best to keep out of here if it's questionable.



        I'm not sure why this gives me the giggles.

        Comment


          Take my advice -- I'm not using it.

          Comment


            Originally posted by Craigar View Post
            Take my advice -- I'm not using it.
            How bout we trade? lol

            Comment


            • Craigar
              Craigar commented
              Editing a comment
              Deal!



            Just trying to post an image off Google.

            Comment


              Huskee , and all the others in the path of the storm.............

              https://www.facebook.com/conni.morab...69794303039108

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