Jokes!

[JCGrill]

(apologies if this one has been posted already)

I've given up drinking until the holidays.

Wait, the punctuation is wrong there.

I've given up; drinking until the holidays.

[Bogy]

[Mosca]

[gcdmd]

Courtesy of my granddaughters in college:

[gcdmd]

While we're on the topic of doing dishes:

[wu7y]

I understand the Masters Tournament begins tomorrow so I thought I'd share some other peoples' thoughts on the game of golf.

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."
Jack Lemmon

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
Henny Youngman

"The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
Phyllis Diller

"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at."
Jimmy Demaret

“Golf’s three ugliest words: still your shot.”—Dave Marr

“I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.” —Unknown

“Ninety percent of putts that are short, don’t go in.”—Yogi Berra

“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.”—Billy Graham

“It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”—Mark Twain

“If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.”—Lee Trevino

“I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.”—Arnold Palmer

“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” – Gerald R. Ford

“Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.” – Jim Murray

[frigate]

[frigate]

[hoovarmin]

[hoovarmin]

[hoovarmin]

[Panhead John]

...

[Panhead John]

,,,

[hoovarmin]

Dad joke, incoming!

[Panhead John]

.,.