Welcome!


This is a membership forum. As a guest, you can click around a bit. View 3 pages for free. If you would like to participate, please join.

[ Pitmaster Club Information | Join Now | Login | Contact Us ]

There are 2 page views remaining.

Announcement

Collapse

Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
See more
See less

Jokes!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • JCGrill
    Club Member
    • Mar 2017
    • 1839
    • Minneapolis / St Paul burbs
    • Charcoal - 22" Weber Kettle
      Gas - Saber
      Smoker - Green Mountain Daniel Boone
      Portable - Charbroil Tabletop Propane Grill

    (apologies if this one has been posted already)

    I've given up drinking until the holidays.

    Wait, the punctuation is wrong there.

    I've given up; drinking until the holidays.

    Comment


    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      The second is correctest.
  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 638
    • North Central Iowa
    • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
      Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks ThermoPop
      Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    Click image for larger version

Name:	123485494_2202788763198561_437377000897270911_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=2&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=VO_cyEKudMIAX-91ut6&_nc_ht=scontent.ffod1-1.fna&oh=889bbbcdd5e145760337c17ac141b2a0&oe=5FD2CF55.jpg
Views:	252
Size:	83.9 KB
ID:	937786

    Comment


    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      Oh yeah!
  • Mosca
    Charter Member
    • Oct 2014
    • 3708
    • PA
    • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

    Click image for larger version

Name:	656229DB-A34F-4580-A9BD-F547EFB74F07.jpeg
Views:	253
Size:	82.9 KB
ID:	937905

    Comment


    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      Don't want to scratch the bed!

    • ComfortablyNumb
      ComfortablyNumb commented
      Editing a comment
      HawkerXP He has a tonneau cover on it, the bed could already be full

    • JimLinebarger
      JimLinebarger commented
      Editing a comment
      Here's your sign!
  • gcdmd
    Charter Member
    • Sep 2014
    • 1089
    • The Republic of Texas

    Courtesy of my granddaughters in college:

    Click image for larger version

Name:	Dishes and Boyfriends.png
Views:	228
Size:	658.9 KB
ID:	937947

    Comment

    • gcdmd
      Charter Member
      • Sep 2014
      • 1089
      • The Republic of Texas

      While we're on the topic of doing dishes:

      Click image for larger version

Name:	Dad dishwasher sarcasm.jpg
Views:	253
Size:	54.5 KB
ID:	937967

      Comment

      • wu7y
        Club Member
        • Oct 2017
        • 178
        • Gillette Wyoming

        I understand the Masters Tournament begins tomorrow so I thought I'd share some other peoples' thoughts on the game of golf.

        "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."
        Jack Lemmon

        "While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
        Henny Youngman

        "The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
        Phyllis Diller

        "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at."
        Jimmy Demaret

        Golf’s three ugliest words: still your shot.”Dave Marr

        I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.” Unknown

        Ninety percent of putts that are short, don’t go in.”Yogi Berra

        The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.”Billy Graham

        It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”Mark Twain

        If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.”Lee Trevino

        I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.”Arnold Palmer

        I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” – Gerald R. Ford

        Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.” – Jim Murray

        Comment


        • surfdog
          surfdog commented
          Editing a comment
          Bogy That’s what I’ve been told...unless it’s a dogleg...whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. LOL

          I have to say though..I can hit a golf ball straighter now than I could when I was eighteen. And I can even “work it” left & right.

          All it took was breaking a couple vertebrae in my back. LOL (Ski accident at 10k feet. O_o)

          Long story short, I always had difficulty with my swing & especially my nonexistent follow through.
          Ten months of physical therapy fixed both. O_o Who knew?!

        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          I was never very good at golf but I sometimes had fun. I was playing one day with an elderly friend who despite, or maybe because of, his age played a pretty fair game. On one hole I hit three or four balls into the water and realized I didn't have any more in my bag. I asked him if I could borrow a ball. He just looked at me with a wry grin and said, "Bill, I don't think you can afford to play this game."

        • Porkies
          Porkies commented
          Editing a comment
          The Yogi Berra quote reminds me of a college roommate who was a university team golfer (might have told the golfing in the snow story here). He was telling me once how he became anxious once he was on the green. Mostly putting short, he couldn't understand how his measurable practice wasn't helping him. I told him, "If you putt short, you're not putting to win". He looked at me angrily, then he smiled. Of course, we were discussing putts which weren't sharp downhill grades and such.
      • frigate
        Club Member
        • Aug 2019
        • 121
        • East Quogue, NY

        Click image for larger version

Name:	1605142335800.png
Views:	229
Size:	673.6 KB
ID:	938292

        Comment


        • surfdog
          surfdog commented
          Editing a comment
          True story. LOL
      • frigate
        Club Member
        • Aug 2019
        • 121
        • East Quogue, NY

        Click image for larger version

Name:	124032080_1780436058792201_6137742185427949463_n.jpg
Views:	221
Size:	73.8 KB
ID:	938851

        Comment


        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          Yearhgh Mr. Bones . . . my buns are all too large from dem buns!

        • JimLinebarger
          JimLinebarger commented
          Editing a comment
          Needs more sauce.

        • Ernest
          Ernest commented
          Editing a comment
          Panhead John heeeeey. I make salads, I just don't eat them
      • hoovarmin
        Founding Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 1124
        • Neptune Beach, FL
        • Weber Performer 22
          SNS
          Joule
          Thermoworks Smoke
          Thermoworks Thermapen
          Kingsford Blue Bag

        Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG_2403.jpg
Views:	217
Size:	1.17 MB
ID:	938940

        Comment


        • Panhead John
          Panhead John commented
          Editing a comment
          😂😂😂

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          Ha! Have had this posted on these premises fer more than 10 years, few takers. None live. Reckon some effectivity, from th signage.
      • hoovarmin
        Founding Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 1124
        • Neptune Beach, FL
        • Weber Performer 22
          SNS
          Joule
          Thermoworks Smoke
          Thermoworks Thermapen
          Kingsford Blue Bag

        Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG_2407.jpg
Views:	211
Size:	779.3 KB
ID:	939433

        Comment

        • hoovarmin
          Founding Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 1124
          • Neptune Beach, FL
          • Weber Performer 22
            SNS
            Joule
            Thermoworks Smoke
            Thermoworks Thermapen
            Kingsford Blue Bag

          Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG_2409.jpg
Views:	213
Size:	926.3 KB
ID:	939496

          Comment


          • Texas Larry
            Texas Larry commented
            Editing a comment
            Doh!

          • Foehn Watts
            Foehn Watts commented
            Editing a comment
            D***.
            That took me over a whole day.
            Forgot the lisp.

          • Ernest
            Ernest commented
            Editing a comment
            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
        • Panhead John
          Club Member
          • Aug 2020
          • 953
          • Houston, Texas
          • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
            Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
            SnS For the Kettle
            Set of Grill Grates
            Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
            Rotisserie For The Kettle
            J. A. Henckels Knives
            Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
            Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

          ...
          Attached Files

          Comment


          • glitchy
            glitchy commented
            Editing a comment
            I’m glad I’m not the only one that thinks this way.
        • Panhead John
          Club Member
          • Aug 2020
          • 953
          • Houston, Texas
          • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
            Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
            SnS For the Kettle
            Set of Grill Grates
            Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
            Rotisserie For The Kettle
            J. A. Henckels Knives
            Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
            Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

          ,,,
          Attached Files

          Comment


          • ofelles
            ofelles commented
            Editing a comment
            Doesn't change this fact:
            Half assed is half assed not matter which cheek you're using!

          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            Just don't embark on any vast projects half-vast.

          • JimLinebarger
            JimLinebarger commented
            Editing a comment
            Mind scar.
        • hoovarmin
          Founding Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 1124
          • Neptune Beach, FL
          • Weber Performer 22
            SNS
            Joule
            Thermoworks Smoke
            Thermoworks Thermapen
            Kingsford Blue Bag

          Dad joke, incoming!


          Click image for larger version

Name:	IMG_2408.jpg
Views:	203
Size:	900.2 KB
ID:	939566

          Comment


          • Panhead John
            Panhead John commented
            Editing a comment
            Funniest “Dad” joke I’ve heard! 😂

          • Huskee
            Huskee commented
            Editing a comment
            "I am naked now though...over"

          • Panhead John
            Panhead John commented
            Editing a comment
            Ok. Commence dancing....over.
        • Panhead John
          Club Member
          • Aug 2020
          • 953
          • Houston, Texas
          • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
            Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
            SnS For the Kettle
            Set of Grill Grates
            Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
            Rotisserie For The Kettle
            J. A. Henckels Knives
            Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
            Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

          .,.

          Click image for larger version

Name:	image_128380.jpg
Views:	196
Size:	42.4 KB
ID:	939598

          Comment


          • surfdog
            surfdog commented
            Editing a comment
            So glad I passed that test...I hardly remember taking it. LOL

        Announcement

        Collapse

        Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

        SOLD OUT! Secure your spot on our waitlist now. First-come, first-served!
        Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
        See more
        See less
        Working...
        X
        false
        0
        Guest
        500
        ["pitmaster-my-membership","login","join-pitmaster","lostpw","reset-password","special-offers","help","nojs","meat-ups","gifts","authaau-alpha","ebooklogin-start","alpha","start"]
        false
        false
        {"count":0,"link":"/forum/announcements/","debug":""}
        Meat-Up in Memphis

        Spotlight

        These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

        These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

        Use our links when you buy things

        Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

        If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

        slow n sear
        The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

        Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


        The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

        the good one grill
        The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

        Click here to read our complete review


        Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

        Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
        The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

        Click here to read our detailed review and to order


        The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

        Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker
        The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

        Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


        The Undisputed Champion!

        thermapen
        The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

        Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


        Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

        Grilla pellet smoker
        We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

        Click here for our review on this unique smoker


        Delta by Nuke,
        Stylish and Affordable
        Gaucho Grill

        Weber Genesis Grill
        Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

        Click here to read our complete review


        Genesis II E-335
        A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

        Weber Genesis Grill
        Webers� Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

        Click here to read our complete review


        GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

        grill grates
        GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

        Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


        Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

        PK 360 grill
        The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

        Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

        Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


        Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

        kareubequ bbq smoker

        The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

        Click here for our review of this superb smoker


        Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

        masterbuilt gas smoker
        This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175? to 350?F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

        Click here to read our detailed review


        Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

        maverick PT55 thermometer
        A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

        Click here to read our complete review


        Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

        Grilla pellet smoker
        FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

        Click here for our review of this unique device


        The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

        NK-22-Ck Grill
        Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

        Click here for more about what makes this grill special


        Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

        Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill
        Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

        Click here to read our detailed review and to order