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    I like this dog too.😎
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    • fuzzydaddy
      fuzzydaddy commented
      Editing a comment
      I like him too, but I would would need a tub of butter also!

    I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body but.......look who's telling me that.

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      What did the ghost say to the wall?

      Sorry, just passing through.

      Comment


        OK Thanksgiving is getting close:

        Has anyone heard that BBQ'ing at Thanksgiving is bad for the environment? Studies have shown a direct link between BBQ'd turkey and gobble warming.

        Please don't throw tomatoes.

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        • Spinaker
          Spinaker commented
          Editing a comment
          Holy Sh%^

        • tbob4
          tbob4 commented
          Editing a comment
          I'm glad you liked it! Too bad Letterman is off the air - he's the only one who would book be based on that.

        This winter's official forecast

        Sort of like the Farmer's Almanac.

        The Indians on the Aamjiwnaang First Nation reservation in Grand Bend asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

        Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

        Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

        But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the Environment Canada Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
        'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

        So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

        A week later, he called the Environment Canada Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

        'Yes,' the man at Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

        The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

        Two weeks later, the chief called the Environment Canada Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

        'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'


        'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

        The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a sh!tload of firewood !'

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        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          That got quite an LOL from me, nicely done

        • Mosca
          Mosca commented
          Editing a comment
          Yep, I loved it too!

        Small town humor, except this REALLY happened yesterday.

        My office is across the street from the County Courthouse. Yesterday a [reportedly very nice] young man decided to politely comment on the election result around the courtyard by merely holding up a piece of black cardboard with the words, "NOT MY PRESIDENT" written in white.

        Some of us just think outside the box. One of our locals with an outstanding sense of humor decided to make his own sign and join the "protest." The result was what I think is this epic picture:

        Click image for larger version

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        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          That could be funny or ominous, depending on what the second guy had in mind.

        • richinlbrg
          richinlbrg commented
          Editing a comment
          You're right gcdmd , but all was cool. In fact someone on social media made a crappy comment about the original protester and the funny guy came to his defense, saying, among them things, that he is a good guy. Sure made me LMAO when I saw it.

        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          I saw the humorous side of it at first, too, but then I got to thinking (not a good idea sometimes). It's good to know that all was well, however. richinlbrg .

        Old Mother Hubbard
        Went to the cupboard
        To get her poor daughter a dress
        But when she got there
        The cupboard was bare
        And so was her daughter, I guess

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          Alrighty, time for some cheese jokes! ('explanations' in parentheses after since I'm not Native American, figured it should help others too)


          What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

          - Mascarpone (mask a pony)


          What cheese do you use to protect a castle?

          - Mozarella (moat-zarella)


          What does the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

          - Halloumi! (Hello me)




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          • EdF
            EdF commented
            Editing a comment
            Yeah, those are pretty cheesy ;-)

          • tbob4
            tbob4 commented
            Editing a comment
            Terrible, terrible jokes. Love them.

          A little girl looks up at her very pregnant mother and sez: You sure are fat mommy!

          Mommy replies: I'm not fat - I'm growing a baby in my belly.

          Little girl asks: Are you growing a baby in your butt too?

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          • Huskee
            Huskee commented
            Editing a comment
            Lol. It's equally as offensive, I've recently found out, to NOT know a woman is pregnant, as it is to mistakenly think a woman is pregnant when she isn't. A gal I work with is on the heavy side and she made a comment recently about her water breaking and like an idiot I said what are you talking about, you're pregnant? Oyyyy....

          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Huskee, I hope yer feet was tasty! Sounds like ya had both of 'em in yer mouth. ;-)
            Oyyyy, indeed!!!!

          What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

          Synonym rolls

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          • tbob4
            tbob4 commented
            Editing a comment
            Just like the cheese jokes @Henrick wrote - terrible, and funny!

          • Henrik
            Henrik commented
            Editing a comment
            Ha ha ha, great!

          I was at the doctor and he told me he needed a stool sample, a urine sample and a semen sample. So I left my underwear and went home.

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          • Thunder77
            Thunder77 commented
            Editing a comment
            Lmao! 😝😂

          • JCBBQ
            JCBBQ commented
            Editing a comment
            hahaha - gross!

          Originally posted by gwschenk View Post
          I was at the doctor and he told me he needed a stool sample, a urine sample and a semen sample. So I left my underwear and went home.
          This is from a bad 80s movie.... One with Bill Paxton... Hurting. Brain. toremember!

          Comment


          • gwschenk
            gwschenk commented
            Editing a comment
            I stole it from Rodney Dangerfield.

          Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
          Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!

          How do you communicate with a pig?
          Use swine language

          What did the horse say when he tripped and fell down?
          Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy-up!

          How does the farmer count his cattle?
          …with a cow-culator

          Why did the chickens get in trouble in school?
          They were using fowl language

          What do you get from a pampered cow?
          Spoiled milk.

          How did the cow make extra money?
          By MOO—nlighting at another farm.

          Why were the chickens so tired?
          They were working around the cluck.

          What do you give a pig that has a cold?
          Trough syrup.

          Why did the cow jump over the moon?
          The farmer had cold hands.

          Why did the bull always owe so much money?
          Because he always charged.

          How do turkeys travel across the ocean?
          By gravy goat

          Comment


          • Thunder77
            Thunder77 commented
            Editing a comment
            Oh boy. Those are so bad, they're good! 😂😂

          You think your day is bad...

          Click image for larger version

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          • JohnF
            JohnF commented
            Editing a comment
            Someone will be a stinker,LOL

          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Oh, Deary Me! Have encountered similar situations while Harley-ing. Had to call in 'A Favor' from "Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration" to eradicate myself. ;-)

          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            The guy in the truck may need to see a urologist about his prostate.

          Anybody else have these problems?

          Sigh
          gh Click image for larger version

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          • tbob4
            tbob4 commented
            Editing a comment
            I don't get why he got yelled at and thus, the joke. Hahahahahahahahaha.

          • Breadhead
            Breadhead commented
            Editing a comment
            She should have given more clear instructions. He did exactly what she asked him to do.😎
            Last edited by Breadhead; December 16, 2016, 10:52 AM.

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