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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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Jokes!

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  • Mosca
    Charter Member
    • Oct 2014
    • 3782
    • PA
    • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

    Click image for larger version

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    Comment


    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Now that thar’s funny!

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Reminds me of the old joke about the definition of a dry run.
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 1185
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      "signed, Your friend Little Johnny!"

    • TJMagneto
      TJMagneto commented
      Editing a comment
      How timely. I just finished cleaning the white board at work.

    • surfdog
      surfdog commented
      Editing a comment
      Whew! Had to make sure that wasn’t my hand writing. LOL
  • MTurney
    Former Member
    • Feb 2020
    • 262
    • Grapevine, TX

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • MTurney
      MTurney commented
      Editing a comment
      Andrrr I thought the EXACT same thing

    • TJMagneto
      TJMagneto commented
      Editing a comment
      A typical day in social media.

    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      TJMagneto Cool avatar and name. Sounds like a Marvel Comics superhero. Care to share the story behind this? I was wondering anyway.
  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 310
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


    A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks "Dry?"

    The German replies "Nein, just one."




    Thank gawd for High School German.


    Comment


    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      ¡Ja, bestimmt!

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Si, Senor

    • surfdog
      surfdog commented
      Editing a comment
      Das ist zu lustig! LOL
  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 310
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.


    What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft, sticky and wet?

    GUM!!!

    Comment


    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      My son told me that joke in 1989, when he was a senior in high school. Before answering the question I told him that the first time I heard that joke was when I was a high school senior in 1959.

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      gcdmd --Actually, I cannot remember ever hearing this one before!

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      It must make the rounds every thirty years or so.
  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 310
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

    She looks up and sees a flock of terns flying nearby. She goes in the kitchen for a coffee and when she comes back out she sees that the terns have flown over and dumped on her laundry. Upset with what has just happened, she takes the laundry down, goes back in the house and washes it again. She comes back out sometime later and hangs the clothes up on the line a second time.

    She goes back in the house for a bit. Going back outside she sees that the terns have come back and done it again all over her laundry. Determined not to have this happen a third time, Mrs. Jones grabs a handful of stones and throws them at the terns killing all but one.

    She rewashes the laundry one last time and hangs it up on the line convinced that she won’t have anymore problems with the birds. As soon as she finishes hanging up the last piece of laundry the one remaining tern flies over and poops all over her.

    The moral of the story is: leave no tern un-stoned.


    and that's enough for today!

    Comment


    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      that is enough for the next 3 days! LoL!

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Then there's the one about the foo bird...

    • TJMagneto
      TJMagneto commented
      Editing a comment
      That story took a tern for the worst.
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 1185
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      My mother had an enormous dog that was supposedly part wolf. Any way this dog would take advantage of you if you let her. Ma bought an XL pizza, set the closed box on the counter of usual height. She went up 4 steps and into the bathroom and when she returned the dog was just tossing back the LAST piece. She was a big dog and could reach the counter top easily. Didn't upchuck any either.

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      Yeah, those table climber dogs are the worst! We eat a full pan of brownies off the dining room table. We got home before she could eat the second!

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      We had a dog that ate a whole chocolate cake. Chocolate of course does not agree with dogs. We put him in a porch with a cement floor and when he was all cleaned out I hosed out the porch.
  • RonB
    Club Member
    • Apr 2016
    • 13527
    • Near Richmond VA
    • Weber Performer Deluxe
      SNS
      Pizza insert
      Rotisserie
      Smokenator 1000
      Cookshack Smokette Elite
      2 Thermapens
      Chefalarm
      Dot
      lots of probes.
      CyberQ

    I'm posting this in jokes, but I believe them...

    Forecast from the Fifties

    (1) "I'll tell you one thing. If things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

    (2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one."

    (3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

    (4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging dime just to mail a letter?"

    (5) "The Government is wanting to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it's going to be impossible to run a family business or farm."

    (6) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

    (7) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 50 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

    (8) "Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

    (9) " I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone with the Wind,' it seems every movie has a 'hell' or' damn' in it."

    (10) "Also, it won't be long until couples are sleeping in the same bed in the movies. What is this world coming to?"

    (11) "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."

    (12) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."

    Comment


    • Donw
      Donw commented
      Editing a comment
      I do miss that 29 cents per gallon gas for the good brands. Cheaper at the off brand stations.

    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Turned 16 in 1970, and lived in a city where one old lady owned half the stations in that city. When she thought she was getting too much competition she start a gas war and run some of them out of business. I bought gas for as low as 19 cents a gallon.

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Bogy
      My dad was career military; so, we moved a lot. Driving cross country we would always look for the towns with a gas war going on.

      Now, the gas war is over. Gas won.
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 1185
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      --Will it include the rest if the bottle?

    • surfdog
      surfdog commented
      Editing a comment
      Windows may be why I always keep at least a hundred bottles on hand. LOL

      (At least that’s my story.)
  • Foehn Watts
    Club Member
    • Apr 2019
    • 310
    • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

    Sorry could not resist:

    A man walks into a bar with an ostrich...

    So a man walks into a bar with an ostrich, and walks up to the counter. “I’ll have a dry martini.” He says. The ostrich said “I’ll have the same.”
    They drank their drinks and when it came time to pay, the man puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out exact cash and change for the waitress. She takes it.

    The next day, the same man and ostrich walk into the bar. This time, the man says “I’ll have two beers.”. The ostrich yet again says “I’ll have the same.” When it gets time to pay, the man gives the waitress exact cash and change, and they both walk out.

    This goes on for an entire week, until one day when he pulls out the cash and change for the waitress, she asks “how do you always pull out the exact amount for your order without looking?”.

    The man looks at her with a straight face “I had a genie that gave me two wishes. The first was that whenever I needed to pay for something I could pull out the exact change for it out of my pocket.”
    The waitresses eyes widen “wow, that’s so smart! But... what was the second wish?” She asks

    The man crumbled and looked over to the ostrich

    “I wished for a chick with long legs that would agree with everything I say.”

    Comment


    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      So very good, Sister!!!"cool:

    • surfdog
      surfdog commented
      Editing a comment
      That is truly inspired. LOL
  • 58limited
    Club Member
    • Dec 2018
    • 1112
    • SE Texas
    • "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~Benjamin Franklin

    Click image for larger version

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    Comment


    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      And y'all better remember it!

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Ain't that the truth! I could show you some scars but not on a family web site.

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      I'll jus go ahead on take my chances with th bear, please...
  • richinlbrg
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 1892
    • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
    • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

    Breakfast
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      Foehn Watts Mr. Bones
      A block of cream cheese with hot pepper jelly poured over it and then spread on water crackers makes a great appetizer. Come to think of it, I have a great recipe for hot pepper jelly. I'll have to look it up and share it.

    • richinlbrg
      richinlbrg commented
      Editing a comment
      gcdmd , a fave appetizer of mine is a softened block of cream cheese with cocktail sauce poured over and topped with backfin crab. Serve with Social Tea crackers.
      Thanks for reminding me of this!

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      richinlbrg
      Sounds great. I'll have to try it.
      BTW, the Hot Pepper Jelly recipe was previously posted on another thread about appetizers. I gave it a bump.
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 1185
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    I just found a new job. I love it here! The atmosphere in the office is incredible, the people are really nice and bubbly!
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      Don’t worry, Mr. Bones ........I know people. I’ll pull some strings.

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      'Preciate it, Brother!
      I'm thinkin, be lotsa sorta mini-conferences, there, round th 'water' cooler

    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      😂. We already had 3 this morning! We had reports to go over, about the....uh...uh.......never mind.
      Last edited by Panhead John; September 5, 2020, 11:01 AM.
  • ComfortablyNumb
    Club Member
    • May 2017
    • 3478
    • Northeast Washington
    • KBQ C-60
      PK360
      Thermoworks Smoke
      Thermoworks Thermopop
      Thermoworks Dot

    Did you know Yoda has a last name?

    Click image for larger version

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    It's Leedahdeedahlaydeehoo!

    Comment


    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Looks like a mouthful, first glance, but some us been knowin how to pronounce that there, since childhood lol
      <banjo outro>

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      @Mr.Bones . . . yoda one of those, huh? Me too!
  • richinlbrg
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 1892
    • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
    • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

    More than a little presumptuous on my part, but none the less:
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      >>>..Schnoooorrrrtttt!!!<<<
      Nee-Ice, Brother!
      Reckon I'm Doomed, then .....................................

      Tryin to put a good spin in th situation, see th bright side o things...

      It certainly sounds like at least I'll spend Eternity in Immediate Proximity to Live Fire lol
      Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 5, 2020, 12:51 PM.

    • Panhead John
      Panhead John commented
      Editing a comment
      I’ll save ya a seat brother!

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      richinlbrg gets outta heaven, then down to hell. . . .

      Devil: You're about to get roasted.

      richinlbrg: Pit, grilled or smoked?

      Devil: get out.

      And that's how reincarnation started.

Announcement

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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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