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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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  • au4stree
    Club Member
    • Aug 2018
    • 648
    • Heart of Dixie
    • Weber Summit Charcoal Grilling Center (WSCGC), PK360(graphite), Jumbo Joe and PBC. Weber kettle @ the hunting camp.

    My dad is not a coffee drinker, so imagine my surprise when he sent this to me last night saying he was drinking coffee.
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • surfdog
      surfdog commented
      Editing a comment
      I’m also not a coffee drinker, so I make this style all the time.

    • Foehn Watts
      Foehn Watts commented
      Editing a comment
      Well, coffee is just fine if you doctor it up with sugar and a bunch of half-n-half. It's even better if you add whiskey, Irish recommended.

      Of course, give me one of the coffees above (no salt please!) and I am on it like white on rice. . .
  • RonB
    Club Member
    • Apr 2016
    • 13527
    • Near Richmond VA
    • Weber Performer Deluxe
      SNS
      Pizza insert
      Rotisserie
      Smokenator 1000
      Cookshack Smokette Elite
      2 Thermapens
      Chefalarm
      Dot
      lots of probes.
      CyberQ

    I'm pretty sure Bogy has seen most of these, so I'm postin' 'em for the rest of you.

    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"

    One child answered, "Mary."
    The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"

    A little kid said, "Verge."
    Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
    The kid said, "Well, you know, they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''



    3-year-old Reese:
    "Our Father, who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A little boy was overheard praying:
    "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.

    I'm Having a real good time like I am."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
    His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wants us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you and Mum."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime.
    She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
    Finally, she decided to go solo.
    I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:
    "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from E-mail.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to Church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

    One Bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.

    The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

    Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

    "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
    Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




    A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
    "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
    "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
    The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"

    "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

    "Just say what you hear Mummy say," the wife answered.

    The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite these people to dinner?"
    Last edited by RonB; August 17, 2020, 10:59 AM.

    Comment


    • Bogy
      Bogy commented
      Editing a comment
      Yep, I've seen all of these, even used some of them in sermons, but they are always good to see again!
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 1185
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    ...
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      Charmin?
  • Panhead John
    Club Member
    • Aug 2020
    • 1185
    • Houston, Texas
    • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
      Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
      SnS For the Kettle
      Set of Grill Grates
      Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
      Rotisserie For The Kettle
      J. A. Henckels Knives
      Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
      Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

    This ones for you Bogy.
    Attached Files

    Comment

    • Stuey1515
      Club Member
      • Dec 2019
      • 435
      • NSW Australia

      Click image for larger version

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ID:	898054 Hope this doesn't breach any rules here

      Comment


      • ComfortablyNumb
        ComfortablyNumb commented
        Editing a comment
        I'd advise not trying to reach for the joey in his pouch!

      • Foehn Watts
        Foehn Watts commented
        Editing a comment
        ComfortablyNumb-- joeyS, joeyS!!
        ('less's you know something I don'T)
    • Clark
      Club Member
      • Mar 2020
      • 265
      • Broken Arrow, OK.

      During a job interview....
      Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

      Old Man: "Honesty."

      Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."

      Old Man: "I don't really give a sh*t what you think."

      Comment


      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        Yep, being an old man, who could retire if he wanted to, gives you a lot of freedom! I've told churches, "If you want to understand me a little better, just keep in mind, before I became a preacher I was fired for insubordination." Actually, come to think of it, I've been fired for insubordination since then too, they just didn't call it that.

      • KenC52
        KenC52 commented
        Editing a comment
        Love it Bogy. I've had friends tell me that the second biggest mistake the church made was ordaining me. The biggest was letting me retire!
    • Clark
      Club Member
      • Mar 2020
      • 265
      • Broken Arrow, OK.

      The old man was dying in the hospital with his wife at his bedside.
      He whispered, eyes full of tears, "you know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
      When I got fired, you were there to support me.
      When my business failed, you were there.
      When I got shot, you were by me side.
      When we lost the house, you stayed with me.
      When my health started failing, you were still by me side.
      You know what Martha?"

      "What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

      "I'm beginning to think you're bad luck!"

      Comment

      • Panhead John
        Club Member
        • Aug 2020
        • 1185
        • Houston, Texas
        • Weber 22” Master Touch Kettle, added a side shelf
          Weber 14” Smokey Mountain Smoker
          SnS For the Kettle
          Set of Grill Grates
          Thermo Pro Remote Dual Probe Thermometer
          Rotisserie For The Kettle
          J. A. Henckels Knives
          Work Sharp E-5 Electric Knife Sharpener
          Char-Broil Instant Read Meat Thermometer

        Any of y’all tried this? ...... I gotta get me one!....... I’m tired of my morning shower interrupting my drinking.
        Attached Files
        Last edited by Panhead John; August 18, 2020, 03:39 PM.

        Comment


        • ComfortablyNumb
          ComfortablyNumb commented
          Editing a comment
          I’ll skip the shower and spend the money on more beer.
      • ofelles
        Club Member
        • Jun 2018
        • 2576
        • Brentwood CA


        Click image for larger version

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        Last edited by ofelles; August 18, 2020, 05:36 PM.

        Comment


        • Panhead John
          Panhead John commented
          Editing a comment
          I don’t car who ya are, that’n thars funny!

        • HawkerXP
          HawkerXP commented
          Editing a comment
          This is why my mother told me to not hangout at the park with "the bums".

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          This cracked me a good belly laugh, many thanks, Brother!

          Sadly, he has aged Much Better than me, LOL
      • jharner
        Club Member
        • Jan 2016
        • 1281
        • Louisiana - North West but a coon ass at heart
        • Cookers

          Camp Chef DLX Pellet Grill
          Weber 22.5 Kettle
          Brickman Box Smoker

          Accessories

          Slow N Sear
          Tube Smoker
          Turkey Cannon
          Rib racks
          Weber chimney starter

          Thermometer's

          Maverick ET 735
          Tru Temp 3619n
          Thermapen mk4
          Thermapop

          Favorite Drink

          Free beer
          Coors Light
          Windsor ( Canadian blended whiskey )

        What is the last thing that goes threw a bugs mind after it hits your windshield ???? It's ASS

        Comment

        • Stuey1515
          Club Member
          • Dec 2019
          • 435
          • NSW Australia

          Click image for larger version

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ID:	898565

          Comment


          • Foehn Watts
            Foehn Watts commented
            Editing a comment
            My kid would say:

            I saw this guy today at Starbucks. No iPhone, no tablet, no laptop.
            He just sat there. Drinking coffee.

            Like my mom or dad--ewwww!
            Last edited by Foehn Watts; August 20, 2020, 12:28 PM. Reason: spelling!
        • ofelles
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 2576
          • Brentwood CA


          Most of generation of 60+ were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways .
          1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
          "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
          2. My mother taught me RELIGION
          "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
          3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL
          "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
          4. My father taught me LOGIC.
          " Because I said so, that's why ."
          5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
          "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
          6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
          "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
          7. My father taught me IRONY
          "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
          8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
          "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
          9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
          "Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
          10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
          "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
          11. My mother taught me about WEATHER
          "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
          12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
          "If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
          13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE
          "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
          14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
          "Stop acting like your father!"
          15. My mother taught me about ENVY
          "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
          16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
          "Just wait until we get home."
          17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
          "You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
          1 8 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE
          "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
          19. My mother taught me ESP
          "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
          20. My father taught me HUMOR
          "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
          21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
          "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up"
          22. My mother taught me GENETICS
          "You're just like your father."
          23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS
          "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
          24. My mother taught me WISDOM
          "When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
          25. My father taught me about JUSTICE
          "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

          Comment


          • JimLinebarger
            JimLinebarger commented
            Editing a comment
            Mr. Bones Ima just a year behind you.

          • RichieB
            RichieB commented
            Editing a comment
            Here's one I heard many times. When I didn't like something, my mother would say "Go bang your head up against the wall." I think I tried it a couple of times. Didn't help I was still mad I did not get my way.

          • Foehn Watts
            Foehn Watts commented
            Editing a comment
            LOL!! These were great, I have never seen them!

            I have a few to add on:

            26: My mother taught me about MIND READING:
            I KNOW what you're thinking, stop it!"
            27. My mother taught me about REMOTE VIEWING
            "Remember, I have eyes in the back of my head!" (*don't all Mothers?*)
            28. My father taught me about GARDENING
            "Those ears are so dirty you are growing potatoes back there!"
        • holehogg
          Club Member
          • Nov 2017
          • 2571
          • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

          This is not a joke but it us what it is.

          Click image for larger version

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          Comment


          • Panhead John
            Panhead John commented
            Editing a comment
            Mrs. Numb? 😂

          • Foehn Watts
            Foehn Watts commented
            Editing a comment
            I first saw beef bacon last year in a local Middle Eastern grocery. I shop there regularly. Good produce, great beef/lamb and a great meat counter and butcher.

            Although more tough, beef bacon tastes like bacon bacon (pork bacon). Generally cheaper than bacon bacon and I use it for seasoning beans and such.

            Oh, ComfortablyNumb, beef bacon is made from a real slab of beef belly (or somewhere in that vicinity), cured and smoked like bacon bacon. None of that flaked'n'formed turkey un-bacon.
            Last edited by Foehn Watts; August 21, 2020, 05:00 PM.

          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            I guess if we can eat beef ham (i.e. pastrami) beef bacon is just one step away.
        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 634
          • North Central Iowa
          • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
            Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks ThermoPop
            Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          Comment


          • ofelles
            ofelles commented
            Editing a comment
            Having gone to car shows/races for years those comments are pretty accurate.

          • surfdog
            surfdog commented
            Editing a comment
            That is brilliant! LOL
        • Foehn Watts
          Club Member
          • Apr 2019
          • 310
          • Just about anything with smoke and/or grilled is better.

          No comment, other than I have one at times! :-) Thank you Harry Bliss!

          Click image for larger version

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          Comment


          • JimLinebarger
            JimLinebarger commented
            Editing a comment
            I showed this to my wife. She said softly, you are not any of these things. Then much louder said, you are different things!

          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            My wife really gets annoyed with me when I try to inject science and logic into an argument.

          • radshop
            radshop commented
            Editing a comment
            JimLinebarger "I don't get it"

            King of the Internet forever without revocation!!!!

        Announcement

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        2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

        We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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