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Jokes!

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    I was in a long McDonald’s drive-through line this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.



    “Take the high road,” I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.

    The cashier must have told her what I’d done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed “Thank you.”, obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.

    When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.

    Now she has to go back to the end of the line to start all over.

    Comment


    • DesertRaider
      DesertRaider commented
      Editing a comment
      Oh, that's an ouch!

    • Mr. Bones
      Mr. Bones commented
      Editing a comment
      Absolutely Priceless, Brother!!!

    • JCGrill
      JCGrill commented
      Editing a comment
      A relative posted this on FB and several followers took it seriously. 🙄

    Well, I'm in pain...
    This has not been a good morning.
    After spending the last 3-4 weeks quarantined inside the house, I decided to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in many years.
    It turned out to be a horrible mistake!

    I got on the horse and started out slowly, but then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go.

    I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the saddle stirrup, the horse was then dragging me.
    The horse just would not stop.

    Thankfully the manager at Dollar General came out and unplugged the machine. But he had the nerve to take the rest of my coins so I wouldn't try to ride the Elephant...

    Comment


      This post is for bogey
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      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        20 years ago I served a congregation with a message board sign. I took responsibility for the messages. I wanted to be in control of the message we presented to the community. These are.good.ones..

      Truth!

      Comment


        =_======































































        Comment


        • JCGrill
          JCGrill commented
          Editing a comment
          Good stuff. Except for that tomato one. You can't buy tomatoes in the grocery store.

        • Willy
          Willy commented
          Editing a comment
          JCGrill : Agree 100% on the ‘maters. I think the best one is the “emotional support dog”. Those eyes are hysterical. LOL.

        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          To the guy whose wife just told him he was right: Be quiet. Shut your mouth. Don't say a word. Silencio! Bite your tongue. . . shut UP!!! :-)

        The local news is reporting that the guy caught stealing hay equipment has posted bale.

        Comment


        • holehogg
          holehogg commented
          Editing a comment
          Then someone forked it up.

        • ComfortablyNumb
          ComfortablyNumb commented
          Editing a comment
          holehogg Yes, but only after his crime spree cut a wide swath...

        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          You know how they were able to catch him? He started sneezing from hay fever

        Lets see how many of us are old enough ... and geeky enough ... to think this is funny:

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        I know I am ... in both categories ...

        Comment


        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          JimLinebarger, the only folks I ever heard use that term were in the ASA. Were you?

        • JimLinebarger
          JimLinebarger commented
          Editing a comment
          @wu7t ASA? I was in the USAF. My ECM training was done at the same base morse code was taught.

        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          JimLinebarger, ASA is Army Security Agency. I don't think it exists any longer. We were involved in sigint (signals intelligence), comint (communication intelligence) and other things I probably still can't talk about even after 50 years. We used to joke that our work was so secret even we didn't know what we were doing.
          Last edited by wu7y; June 16, 2020, 10:57 AM.

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        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          She's not gonna spoiler her outfit, fer sure.
          Last edited by Foehn Watts; June 18, 2020, 05:46 PM.

        • TJMagneto
          TJMagneto commented
          Editing a comment
          "When you come to a fork in the road, take it" - Yogi Berra

        Following a recipe earlier today that needed apple's, 5 cubed. 125 apple's that's a lot for one pie. Anyway went to the store in search of lemons and apple's and came home empty handed. It was a fruitless journey.

        Comment


        • RonB
          RonB commented
          Editing a comment
          Orange you ashamed of posting this?

        • Foehn Watts
          Foehn Watts commented
          Editing a comment
          I thought it was just peachy, so there!

        • ofelles
          ofelles commented
          Editing a comment
          Apples & Oranges my friend.

        Comment


        • HawkerXP
          HawkerXP commented
          Editing a comment
          I only do it when backing up! My son doesn't understand.

        • Mosca
          Mosca commented
          Editing a comment
          Ain’t that the truth.

        • richinlbrg
          richinlbrg commented
          Editing a comment
          OH MY! Feeling better now!

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          Telephone lineman working up on a pole one day beside a farmers pasture.
          Lineman's working away, notices the famer walk into the pasture lift up a horses tail and planted what looked to be a big kiss on the horses hind end.
          Lineman's working away, about 2 hours later out walks the farmer and does the same thing again.
          Lineman finishes his work, kinda puzzled walks over to the farmer and askes, "Umm, what's with kissing the horses on the hind end?
          Farmer replied, My lips are chapped, that keeps me from licking them....

          Comment


          • Foehn Watts
            Foehn Watts commented
            Editing a comment
            Why did I just think of "Hot Patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll..."??"

          • TJMagneto
            TJMagneto commented
            Editing a comment
            Ugh.

          • DesertRaider
            DesertRaider commented
            Editing a comment
            As a fromer telephone lineman, and I can honestly say that I can't unsee that.

          Looks about right

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              My kind of island! Paradise Island, perhaps?
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              • Foehn Watts
                Foehn Watts commented
                Editing a comment
                "Joke grenade"--I like that! and the cartoon too!

              • gcdmd
                gcdmd commented
                Editing a comment
                You guys will get your just desserts someday.

              • richinlbrg
                richinlbrg commented
                Editing a comment
                Ohhh, gcdmd , you have no shame!

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