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Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
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Jokes!

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  • RonB
    Club Member
    • Apr 2016
    • 12554
    • Near Richmond VA
    • Weber Performer Deluxe
      SNS
      Pizza insert
      Rotisserie
      Smokenator 1000
      Cookshack Smokette Elite
      2 Thermapens
      Chefalarm
      Dot
      lots of probes.
      CyberQ

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    • randy56
      Club Member
      • Aug 2017
      • 431
      • Newburgh In

      Comment

      • Thunder77
        Founding Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 2742
        • Halethorpe, MD
        • Weber 26.75" Kettle with SnS. Broil King Baron 5 burner. Akorn Kamado, and Akorn Jr kamado. Primo Oval Junior. Love grilling steaks, ribs, and chicken. Need to master smoked salmon Favorite cool weather beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest Favorite warm weather beer: Yuengling Traditional Lager All-time favorite drink: Single Malt Scotch

        Tinder dating profile??
        Attached Files

        Comment

        • Thunder77
          Founding Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 2742
          • Halethorpe, MD
          • Weber 26.75" Kettle with SnS. Broil King Baron 5 burner. Akorn Kamado, and Akorn Jr kamado. Primo Oval Junior. Love grilling steaks, ribs, and chicken. Need to master smoked salmon Favorite cool weather beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest Favorite warm weather beer: Yuengling Traditional Lager All-time favorite drink: Single Malt Scotch

          I feel better about Burger King already!
          Attached Files

          Comment


          • ScottyC13
            ScottyC13 commented
            Editing a comment
            This is why punctuation is important!

          • DesertRaider
            DesertRaider commented
            Editing a comment
            ScottyC13 Example: "Let's eat, Grandma" vs "Let's eat Grandma".

          • Smokerstoker
            Smokerstoker commented
            Editing a comment
            Maybe they will introduce the crabby patty under his strong leadership.
        • jecucolo
          Club Member
          • Nov 2015
          • 1246
          • Schertz Texas
          • Pit Barrel Cooker
            Slow 'n Sear for 22" Kettle
            Weber 22" Kettle (Craiglist)
            Slow 'n Sear for 22" Kettle
            Weber Rapid Fire Chimney
            Maverick ET-732
            Kingsford Original Charcoal
            Kingsford Competition Charcoal
            Anova Sous Vide

          A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

          He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

          When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

          The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
          "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.

          It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

          The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
          One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.

          When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.

          So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

          The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

          The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
          He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

          One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
          All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

          When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
          condolences on your loss."

          The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

          "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.

          "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

          “It hasn't affected my brothers though."

          Comment


          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            That's a good joke, but of course originally, it was Ole in Minnesota, and his brother Lars was in Wisconsin and his brother Swen was in North Dakota.

          • jecucolo
            jecucolo commented
            Editing a comment
            Well every state has its trouble makers!

          • JimLinebarger
            JimLinebarger commented
            Editing a comment
            To me it works either way since it is becoming an instant classic here in my family. Even my wife said "That's a good joke!"
        • Mosca
          Charter Member
          • Oct 2014
          • 3293
          • PA
          • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

          Introducing Beyond Broccoli, made from 100% real pork!

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          • Thunder77
            Thunder77 commented
            Editing a comment
            👍👍👍👍
        • ComfortablyNumb
          Club Member
          • May 2017
          • 3185
          • Northeast Washington
          • KBQ C-60
            PK360
            Thermoworks Smoke
            Thermoworks Thermopop
            Thermoworks Dot

          Servers at a pub are called bartenders.

          Here in Washington we call servers at pot shops budtenders....

          Comment

        • RonB
          Club Member
          • Apr 2016
          • 12554
          • Near Richmond VA
          • Weber Performer Deluxe
            SNS
            Pizza insert
            Rotisserie
            Smokenator 1000
            Cookshack Smokette Elite
            2 Thermapens
            Chefalarm
            Dot
            lots of probes.
            CyberQ

          Me and a friend went hunting today and got a rabbit. We skinned it and cleaned it and cut it in half so we would each have an equal share.



          My vegan girlfriend walked in and saw us cutting the rabbit in half and got mad and told us “Quit splitting hares!”

          Comment


          • Thunder77
            Thunder77 commented
            Editing a comment
            Grooooooan!!
        • frigate
          Club Member
          • Aug 2019
          • 86
          • East Quogue, NY

          Lets start off with one for the ladies.

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          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            On that last one you are beyond help. I can recommend a good funeral home, though. They are really good at hiding trauma marks.

          • Bogy
            Bogy commented
            Editing a comment
            frigate, if it will help, I can do a nice eulogy for you.
        • Neris
          Club Member
          • Dec 2018
          • 188
          • Dublin, Ireland (europe)

          The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've such a good man and your motorcycles have
          changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'
          Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, '
          I want to hang out with God.'
          St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
          God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the
          one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?
          Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'
          God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing
          something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution,
          and can't run without a road?'
          Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me,
          but aren't you the inventor of woman?'
          God said, 'Ah, yes.'
          Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have
          some major design flaws in your invention!
          1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension
          2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
          3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much
          4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
          5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
          'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God,
          'hold on.'God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a
          few words and waited for the results.The computer printed out
          a slip of paper and God read it. 'Well, it may be true that my
          invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these
          numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.

          Comment


          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            Do you know what the difference is between your wife and your Harley? With the Harley you can just turn the key if you don't want to hear it.

          • DesertRaider
            DesertRaider commented
            Editing a comment
            ComfortablyNumb , I'm going to guess your wife doesn't read this section.

          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            DesertRaider Can I get back to you later? ER doctors are surgically removing a cast iron skillet from my skull at present.....
        • Neris
          Club Member
          • Dec 2018
          • 188
          • Dublin, Ireland (europe)

          A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy cold winter. They both had jobs, and had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address and sent the e-mail without noticing his error.

          In the mean time:
          In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" following a heart attack (died and gone to report in heaven). The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from family and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

          To: My loving Wife
          From: Your Departed Husband
          Subject: I've arrived!

          I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

          P.S. Sure is hot down here

          Comment

          • fracmeister
            Founding Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 1216
            • Sprang, TX
            • Dances with lemmings

              (and smokes on a Yoder 640, raises bees and shoots a .408 WIndrunner) "come la notte i furti miei seconda"

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            • bep35
              Founding Member
              • Jul 2014
              • 293
              • Pierre,SD
              • 1987 Weber Kettle (Still going!)
                2004 Cookshack Smokette (The original!)
                2012 Weber Genesis (Wonderful for steaks and chops!)
                2014 Pit Barrel Cooker (Lovin it!)
                Thermoworks Thermapen
                Thermoworks Mini Handheld Thermocouple & Meat Needle Probe
                Various other wireless remote thermometers

                Beer...Bud Light (Timeless)

              A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.

              The bartender asks, "What's with the steering wheel?"

              To which the pirate reply's:

              "Argh, it's driving me nuts!"

              Comment

              • ComfortablyNumb
                Club Member
                • May 2017
                • 3185
                • Northeast Washington
                • KBQ C-60
                  PK360
                  Thermoworks Smoke
                  Thermoworks Thermopop
                  Thermoworks Dot

                I bought a wooden whistle, but I wooden whistle.
                Then I bought a steel whistle, but I steel couldn't whistle.
                Then I bought a tin whistle, now I tin whistle.

                Yeah, I know, that's cornier than a cornfield....

                Comment


                • Craigar
                  Craigar commented
                  Editing a comment
                  And cornier than a cow pie.
              • RonB
                Club Member
                • Apr 2016
                • 12554
                • Near Richmond VA
                • Weber Performer Deluxe
                  SNS
                  Pizza insert
                  Rotisserie
                  Smokenator 1000
                  Cookshack Smokette Elite
                  2 Thermapens
                  Chefalarm
                  Dot
                  lots of probes.
                  CyberQ

                This reminds me of cookin' on my Kettle...

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                • ComfortablyNumb
                  ComfortablyNumb commented
                  Editing a comment
                  I think Blonder has an article on AR on why that happens.

                • 58limited
                  58limited commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Yep, that's my fire life.

              Announcement

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              Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

              Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
              Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
              See more
              See less
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              Meat-Up in Memphis

              T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
              Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

              Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
              This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

              Click here for more info.

              Support ARC

              Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

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              Spotlight

              These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

              These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

              Use our links when you buy things

              Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

              https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

               


              If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

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              The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

              Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


              The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

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              The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

              Click here to read our complete review


              Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

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              The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

              Click here to read our detailed review and to order


              The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

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              The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

              Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


              The Undisputed Champion!

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              The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

              Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


              Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

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              We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

              Click here for our review on this unique smoker


              Delta by Nuke,
              Stylish and Affordable
              Gaucho Grill

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              Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

              Click here to read our complete review


              Genesis II E-335 
              A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

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              Weber’s Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

              Click here to read our complete review


              GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

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              GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

              Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


              Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

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              The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

              Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

              Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


              Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

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              The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

              Click here for our review of this superb smoker


              Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

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              This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

              Click here to read our detailed review


              Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

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              A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

              Click here to read our complete review


              Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

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              FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

              Click here for our review of this unique device


              The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

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              Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

              Click here for more about what makes this grill special


              Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

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              Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

              Click here to read our detailed review and to order