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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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Jokes!

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  • frigate
    Club Member
    • Aug 2019
    • 138
    • East Quogue, NY

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    Comment

    • surfdog
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 1309
      • Sunny SoCal
      • Cooking gadgets
        Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center
        Weber Summit Platinum D6
        Blue Rhino Razor
        Dyna-Glo XL Premium Dual Chamber
        Camp Chef Somerset IV along with their Artisan Pizza Oven 90
        Anova WiFi

        Thermometers
        Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoWorks Signals & Billows - ThermoPop -ThermoWorks ProNeedle - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - and a Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

        Other useful bits...
        KitchenAid 7-qt Pro Line stand mixer
        A Black & Decker food processor that I can't seem to murder
        A couple of immersion blenders, one a "consumer" model & the other a "high end" Italian thing. Yes, the Italian one is a bit better, but only marginally
        Instant Pot Duo Evo Plus 8-qt + accessories like egg-bite & egg holders
        All-Clad pots & pans, along with some cast iron...everything from 7" Skookie pans to 8.5qt Dutch ovens
        Weber GBS griddle, pizza stone, and wok
        Knives range from Mercer to F. Dick to "You spent how much for one knife? One knife?!" LOL

      Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

      The ball hit one of the men.

      He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

      The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,” she told him.

      “Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied.

      He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

      At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

      She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

      She administered a tender and artful massage for several long minutes and asked, “How does that feel?”

      He replied, “It feels great, but I still think my thumb is broken!”

      Comment

      • surfdog
        Club Member
        • Mar 2016
        • 1309
        • Sunny SoCal
        • Cooking gadgets
          Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center
          Weber Summit Platinum D6
          Blue Rhino Razor
          Dyna-Glo XL Premium Dual Chamber
          Camp Chef Somerset IV along with their Artisan Pizza Oven 90
          Anova WiFi

          Thermometers
          Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoWorks Signals & Billows - ThermoPop -ThermoWorks ProNeedle - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - and a Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

          Other useful bits...
          KitchenAid 7-qt Pro Line stand mixer
          A Black & Decker food processor that I can't seem to murder
          A couple of immersion blenders, one a "consumer" model & the other a "high end" Italian thing. Yes, the Italian one is a bit better, but only marginally
          Instant Pot Duo Evo Plus 8-qt + accessories like egg-bite & egg holders
          All-Clad pots & pans, along with some cast iron...everything from 7" Skookie pans to 8.5qt Dutch ovens
          Weber GBS griddle, pizza stone, and wok
          Knives range from Mercer to F. Dick to "You spent how much for one knife? One knife?!" LOL

        According to the "experts" and packaging: A serving of chips (crisps for my UK brethren) is 10. Yes, 10.

        As for actual humans: I can easily eat 10 while I'm standing at the pantry with the bag open trying to decide if I want to eat chips.

        Comment


        • ComfortablyNumb
          ComfortablyNumb commented
          Editing a comment
          Ten sounds like a single serving to me, unless you get the large bags, then it is only one.

        • Thunder77
          Thunder77 commented
          Editing a comment
          🤣🤣🤣
      • surfdog
        Club Member
        • Mar 2016
        • 1309
        • Sunny SoCal
        • Cooking gadgets
          Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center
          Weber Summit Platinum D6
          Blue Rhino Razor
          Dyna-Glo XL Premium Dual Chamber
          Camp Chef Somerset IV along with their Artisan Pizza Oven 90
          Anova WiFi

          Thermometers
          Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoWorks Signals & Billows - ThermoPop -ThermoWorks ProNeedle - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - and a Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

          Other useful bits...
          KitchenAid 7-qt Pro Line stand mixer
          A Black & Decker food processor that I can't seem to murder
          A couple of immersion blenders, one a "consumer" model & the other a "high end" Italian thing. Yes, the Italian one is a bit better, but only marginally
          Instant Pot Duo Evo Plus 8-qt + accessories like egg-bite & egg holders
          All-Clad pots & pans, along with some cast iron...everything from 7" Skookie pans to 8.5qt Dutch ovens
          Weber GBS griddle, pizza stone, and wok
          Knives range from Mercer to F. Dick to "You spent how much for one knife? One knife?!" LOL

        Firefighters in Dublin responded to a call that a local pub was on fire.

        When they get there, there was a man walking out of the burning bar covered in cinder and ash.

        As the crew was putting the fire out, the fire chief asked the man if he knew what caused the fire in the pub.

        The man said, “No...it was burningi like that when I walked in.”

        Comment

        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 673
          • North Central Iowa
          • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
            Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks ThermoPop
            Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          Some call it multi-tasking, I call it doing something else while I try to remember what I was doing in the first place!

          Comment


          • RichieB
            RichieB commented
            Editing a comment
            I can relate.

          • Thunder77
            Thunder77 commented
            Editing a comment
            Too true for comfort! 😜
        • jecucolo
          Club Member
          • Nov 2015
          • 1275
          • Schertz Texas
          • Pit Barrel Cooker






          Three drunk buddies hop into a cab. The taxi driver new they were drunk so he just started the engine and then turned off the the cab. Then said “We reach our destination gentlemen.” As the first guy exits the cab he gives him the fair, the second guy said “Thank You!” The third rider slapped him. The driver was shocked thinking he knew what he did. But then asked “What was that for?” The third guy replies, “Control your speed next time you almost got us killed!”
          Last edited by jecucolo; February 6, 2020, 07:46 PM.

          Comment


          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            Nothing for me as well. But then there was recently one that got likes in spite of me not being able to see anything.

          • RonB
            RonB commented
            Editing a comment
            ComfortablyNumb - It's another stealth joke, and you need your stealth glasses to see it.

          • DesertRaider
            DesertRaider commented
            Editing a comment
            OK, I thought it was funny. Not sure what it says about my sense of humor though.
        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 673
          • North Central Iowa
          • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
            Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks ThermoPop
            Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          This morning I started the day by running around the block. Then I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.

          Comment

          • RonB
            Club Member
            • Apr 2016
            • 13862
            • Near Richmond VA
            • Weber Performer Deluxe
              SNS
              Pizza insert
              Rotisserie
              Smokenator 1000
              Cookshack Smokette Elite
              2 Thermapens
              Chefalarm
              Dot
              lots of probes.
              CyberQ

            This is a true story folks. It happened to me way back in the 70's while I was managing a fast food restaurant. That was well before the internet allowed kids to see adult stuff way to young thus preserving a bit of innocence for the employees still in high school.

            We had some slack time with no customers and we had cleaned up and restocked everything. While standing around talking, one of the young ladies asked why men were so messy in the restroom. A thousand things went through my mind, but I wanted something age appropriate. After some thought I finally said "It's much easier to hit the target when you are sitting on it". That ended the discussion as well as getting a few laughs.

            Comment


            • ComfortablyNumb
              ComfortablyNumb commented
              Editing a comment
              I find targeting the floor much easier standing than sitting.
          • surfdog
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 1309
            • Sunny SoCal
            • Cooking gadgets
              Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center
              Weber Summit Platinum D6
              Blue Rhino Razor
              Dyna-Glo XL Premium Dual Chamber
              Camp Chef Somerset IV along with their Artisan Pizza Oven 90
              Anova WiFi

              Thermometers
              Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoWorks Signals & Billows - ThermoPop -ThermoWorks ProNeedle - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - and a Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

              Other useful bits...
              KitchenAid 7-qt Pro Line stand mixer
              A Black & Decker food processor that I can't seem to murder
              A couple of immersion blenders, one a "consumer" model & the other a "high end" Italian thing. Yes, the Italian one is a bit better, but only marginally
              Instant Pot Duo Evo Plus 8-qt + accessories like egg-bite & egg holders
              All-Clad pots & pans, along with some cast iron...everything from 7" Skookie pans to 8.5qt Dutch ovens
              Weber GBS griddle, pizza stone, and wok
              Knives range from Mercer to F. Dick to "You spent how much for one knife? One knife?!" LOL

            Where do I sign?
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            Comment


            • ComfortablyNumb
              ComfortablyNumb commented
              Editing a comment
              One would think they would keep those two events as far apart as possible....
          • ofelles
            Club Member
            • Jun 2018
            • 2765
            • Brentwood CA
            • LSG large insulated cabinet
              Yoder YS640
              David Klose 20x42 Grill Chef Grill
              Weber Jumbo Joe
              FireBoard controller and PitBull fan
              Thermapen Mk4

            https://gallery.mailchimp.com/c45e3bed9ec36e663940657a4/images/964ea85b-35d6-4b76-8aa5-3866003eac2d.jpg


            Comment


            • JCGrill
              JCGrill commented
              Editing a comment
              Love that YMCA one.
          • frigate
            Club Member
            • Aug 2019
            • 138
            • East Quogue, NY

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            • Bogy
              Bogy commented
              Editing a comment
              Yeah, that "nonexistent" area. My sister was living in Massachusetts and missing our parents back in Iowa. A friend offered to drive with her for a weekend visit. That's when she realized people in New England had no concept of how big the country really was.

            • ComfortablyNumb
              ComfortablyNumb commented
              Editing a comment
              Bogy When I lived in San Diego we used to say there was no life east of I-5. Basically, the only thing west of I-5 was the beach....
          • Bogy
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 673
            • North Central Iowa
            • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
              Weber Genesis E-310
              Original Grilla
              Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
              Thermoworks ThermoPop
              Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
              Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
              2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

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            • ComfortablyNumb
              ComfortablyNumb commented
              Editing a comment
              I was too, but since you didn't laugh at it yesterday, I knew you wouldn't tomorrow.
          • Neris
            Club Member
            • Dec 2018
            • 199
            • Dublin, Ireland (europe)

            A woman, bit upright because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying,

            "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me."

            Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.


            After a short while the husband came home.

            She could hear him in the kitchen before he came into the bedroom.

            She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note...


            After a minute or so, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone...

            "She's finally gone. Yeah, I know, about bloody time.

            I'm coming to see you. Put on that sexy French nightie.

            I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."

            He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left.



            She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.

            Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote.

            "I can see your feet. We're out of bread; be back in five minutes."

            Comment

            • RonB
              Club Member
              • Apr 2016
              • 13862
              • Near Richmond VA
              • Weber Performer Deluxe
                SNS
                Pizza insert
                Rotisserie
                Smokenator 1000
                Cookshack Smokette Elite
                2 Thermapens
                Chefalarm
                Dot
                lots of probes.
                CyberQ

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              • wu7y
                Club Member
                • Oct 2017
                • 184
                • Gillette Wyoming

                I just knew sooner or later someone was going to get me going on puns again:

                Davey had just joined the Navy and was in boot camp. He needed a little more money than Uncle Sam was paying at the time and saw an ad that the local artificial insemination/fertility clinic was looking for qualified donors. He thought that he could be a donor and make a few bucks. He completed all of the required paperwork and was told come back the next day for his interview.

                The clinic director told him that his family history, genealogy, physical condition and medical history was all more then acceptable but they just couldn't use him at that time. When he asked why the clinic director looked at him sadly and said, "Davey, when we looked into your military records it appears that you are not a seaman first class."

                Can I stay around for awhile or do I have to leave now?

                Comment


                • HawkerXP
                  HawkerXP commented
                  Editing a comment
                  aaaaaah!

                • RonB
                  RonB commented
                  Editing a comment
                  You can stay if you promise to post more jokes like this one.

              Announcement

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              2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled - Rescheduled for March 2022

              We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for March 18-20, 2022. More details and re-booking info coming soon! For now click here for more info.
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              Meat-Up in Memphis