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Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
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Jokes!

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  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 510
    • North Central Iowa
    • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
      Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks ThermoPop
      Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    It's either here or the "Temp & Weather" thread:

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    • RonB
      Club Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 11860
      • Near Richmond VA
      • Weber Performer Deluxe
        SNS
        Pizza insert
        Rotisserie
        Smokenator 1000
        Cookshack Smokette Elite
        2 Thermapens
        Chefalarm
        Dot
        lots of probes.
        CyberQ

      If ya liked the last one I posted, check this one out.


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      • gcdmd
        gcdmd commented
        Editing a comment
        This is the 21st century version of the old cherry bomb in the outhouse prank.
    • Nate
      Charter Member
      • Apr 2015
      • 3802
      • Quarantined
      • INFO
        ~Known as: Nate
        ~Location: Cornfield in Southwestern Indiana
        ~Credit Manager for an Agriculture Coop.


        SMOKERS & GRILLS
        ~Grilla Original Grilla
        ~Char-Broil Commercial Tru-Infrared Gas Grill
        ~Pit Barrel Cooker
        ~Brinkmann Trailmaster Vertical Offset Smoker
        ~Weber Kettle 22.5" Original
        ~Weber Q1000


        THERMOMETERS
        ~Thermoworks Thermapen MX4
        ~Thermoworks Thermapen
        ~Thermoworks ThermoPop
        ~Thermoworks ChefAlarm TX-1100-XX (Orange and black)
        ~Thermoworks DOT TX-1200-XX (Black)
        ~Thermoworks IR-Gun-S Industrial Infrared Thermometer
        ~Maverick ET-733
        ~Maverick XR-50


        ACCESSORIES
        ~Stanley T-Stak mobile tool box for BBQ Supplies
        ~Slow 'n' Sear
        ~Drip 'n' Griddle
        ~Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
        ~Pro-Series Probes for Thermoworks
        ~Humphrey's Rib Spatula


        DRINKS
        ~Sweet Tea
        ~Bourbon
        ~Craft Beers or whatever is in your fridge

      I couldn't pass this one up!


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      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        I'm planning on being cremated. Maybe if I stick a couple of ribeyes in my pockets I can cater the funeral lunch myself.

      • Thunder77
        Thunder77 commented
        Editing a comment
        Love it!
    • ofelles
      Club Member
      • Jun 2018
      • 1513
      • Brentwood CA
      • Yoder YS640 on Comp cart
        Klose 20x42 Charcoal Grill
        LSG Insulated Cabinet
        Jumbo Joe
        VacMaster Pro 380 sealer
        FireBoard and Fan
        Thermoworks Signal
        Thermoworks Dot
        Thermopen Mk4

      This is Lexi, she's an 8 week-old German Shepherd .

      I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife,
      but it turns out she is allergic to dogs .
      So we are now looking to find her a new home.
      She is 60+ years old, a caring woman who is
      a decent cook and is not interested in sex.

      Comment


      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        Sorry, I already have one, except mine loves dogs.
    • pkadare
      Club Member
      • Jun 2019
      • 781
      • Bobcaygeon, Ontario
      • My gear:
        22 Weber Kettle
        Napoleon PRO Charcoal Kettle Grill
        Broil King Keg
        Traeger Pro 34
        Napoleon Prestige Pro 500
        Pit Barrel Cooker
        Blackstone Range Combo Griddle

      Marking myself safe.

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      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        OK, I've been looking at this for almost a day now (not continuously, but...) and is there something I'm missing? I see a beautiful pair of legs. Is there something else in the picture? I am looking forward to when young ladies can dress like that around here again. I'd like to like it just for the legs. Did I mention the legs?

      • pkadare
        pkadare commented
        Editing a comment
        Bogy - given Toronto's experience with SARS, the coronavirus story is kind of top of mind these days. I realize that this one is a bit of a stretch. :-) Which probably explains the single like.

      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        OK. State of Washington is more on my mind. The patient arrived there the day before my daughter returned from a trip to California. Still nice legs. Beers ok.
    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 510
      • North Central Iowa
      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
        Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks ThermoPop
        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

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      • jecucolo
        jecucolo commented
        Editing a comment
        This is definitely a joke that people in the south don’t get.

      • Andrrr
        Andrrr commented
        Editing a comment
        jecucolo If you haven’t already I hope you get to experience it someday. If you want the extended description of how this anarchy happens I’ll write it but just know this is kinda how things work around here for about half the year.

      • Huskee
        Huskee commented
        Editing a comment
        It be like that sometimes
    • RonB
      Club Member
      • Apr 2016
      • 11860
      • Near Richmond VA
      • Weber Performer Deluxe
        SNS
        Pizza insert
        Rotisserie
        Smokenator 1000
        Cookshack Smokette Elite
        2 Thermapens
        Chefalarm
        Dot
        lots of probes.
        CyberQ

      This link is to a baby's reaction to it's first taste of ice cream - made me laugh out loud...

      https://www.today.com/parents/see-ba...-cream-t172213

      Kinda remindes me of my first taste of brisket...
      Last edited by RonB; January 22nd, 2020, 07:37 PM.

      Comment


      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        Love the way the kid grabs with both hands and hangs on!
    • pkadare
      Club Member
      • Jun 2019
      • 781
      • Bobcaygeon, Ontario
      • My gear:
        22 Weber Kettle
        Napoleon PRO Charcoal Kettle Grill
        Broil King Keg
        Traeger Pro 34
        Napoleon Prestige Pro 500
        Pit Barrel Cooker
        Blackstone Range Combo Griddle

      Comment


      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        pkadare, that's one way to make sure you get it all!

      • surfdog
        surfdog commented
        Editing a comment
        How to take a cake and not have to share. Brilliant. LOL
    • Craigar
      Founding Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 1062
      • Papillion, NE
      • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
        * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
        * - Slow 'N Sear
        * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
        * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
        * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
        * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
        * - Thermoworks Dot
        * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
        * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
        * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
        * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
        * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
        * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

      Me: What's the wifi password?

      Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

      Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.

      Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?

      Me: Sure. How much is that?

      Bartender: $3

      Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?

      Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

      Comment


      • Huskee
        Huskee commented
        Editing a comment
        If any bars actually employ this as their password, it is genius.
    • ComfortablyNumb
      Club Member
      • May 2017
      • 3043
      • Northeast Washington
      • KBQ C-60
        PK360
        Thermoworks Smoke
        Thermoworks Thermopop
        Thermoworks Dot

      Sadly, I just learned today my brother with the stutter died in prison today. He couldn't finish his sentence.

      Comment


      • jecucolo
        jecucolo commented
        Editing a comment
        Funny!

      • ComfortablyNumb
        ComfortablyNumb commented
        Editing a comment
        MBMorgan It is pretty bad!

      • Bogy
        Bogy commented
        Editing a comment
        If we are going to limit this thread to only "good" jokes, it's going to be a lot shorter!
    • frigate
      Club Member
      • Aug 2019
      • 64
      • East Quogue, NY

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      • Andrrr
        Andrrr commented
        Editing a comment
        The cockroaches one got me thinking...

      • DesertRaider
        DesertRaider commented
        Editing a comment
        Andrrr , It's even more worrisome after you've had kids!

      • Andrrr
        Andrrr commented
        Editing a comment
        DesertRaider yep I’ve got an 8 and 5 year old. That stuff crosses my mind from time to time
    • pkadare
      Club Member
      • Jun 2019
      • 781
      • Bobcaygeon, Ontario
      • My gear:
        22 Weber Kettle
        Napoleon PRO Charcoal Kettle Grill
        Broil King Keg
        Traeger Pro 34
        Napoleon Prestige Pro 500
        Pit Barrel Cooker
        Blackstone Range Combo Griddle

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      • lemayp
        lemayp commented
        Editing a comment
        Those coughs were fast as lightning...
    • ComfortablyNumb
      Club Member
      • May 2017
      • 3043
      • Northeast Washington
      • KBQ C-60
        PK360
        Thermoworks Smoke
        Thermoworks Thermopop
        Thermoworks Dot

      A Rabbi, a Priest, and a scientist walk into a bar. "What are you having, Rabbi?" He orders a 'Holy Moses'. When asked how it's made he replies, "Half a glass of red wine topped off with seltzer." The bartender reaches under the bar, makes the drink, then lifts it up and sets it on the bar. "Perfect." says the Rabbi. "What are you having, Father?" He orders a 'Holy Mother'. When asked how it's made he replies, "Half a glass of red wine topped off with seltzer." The bartender reaches under the bar, makes the drink, then lifts it up and sets it on the bar. "Wonderful." says the Priest. "What are you having, Doc?" He orders a 'Double Helix'. When asked how it's made he replies, "Same as those two, but I need you to make it on the bar where I can see it."

      Comment

      • Ronaldf123
        Club Member
        • Jun 2019
        • 30







        This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

        The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

        Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

        OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

        Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

        A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

        The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for supp ort ai ded by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

        The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

        After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

        So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

        Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

        'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.

        Comment


        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          It's funny, but please keep in mind we try to keep things clean and family friendly around here.
      • surfdog
        Club Member
        • Mar 2016
        • 881
        • Sunny SoCal
        • Cooking gadgets
          Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center
          Weber Summit Platinum D6
          Blue Rhino Razor
          Dyna-Glo XL Premium Dual Chamber
          Camp Chef Somerset IV along with their Artisan Pizza Oven 90
          Anova WiFi

          Thermometers
          Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoWorks Signals & Billows - ThermoPop -ThermoWorks ProNeedle - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - and a Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

          Other useful bits...
          KitchenAid 7-qt Pro Line stand mixer
          A Black & Decker food processor that I can't seem to murder
          A couple of immersion blenders, one a "consumer" model & the other a "high end" Italian thing. Yes, the Italian one is a bit better, but only marginally
          Instant Pot Duo Evo Plus 8-qt + accessories like egg-bite & egg holders
          All-Clad pots & pans, along with some cast iron...everything from 7" Skookie pans to 8.5qt Dutch ovens
          Weber GBS griddle, pizza stone, and wok
          Knives range from Mercer to F. Dick to "You spent how much for one knife? One knife?!" LOL

        How do you know when a clock is really hungry????

        It goes back 4 seconds....

        😐😐😐😐😐 (I’m sorry - I have a condition 😂)

        Comment


        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          That's a great dad joke!

        • JimLinebarger
          JimLinebarger commented
          Editing a comment
          The key to any joke is timing.

      Announcement

      Collapse

      Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

      Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
      Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
      See more
      See less
      Working...
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      Meat-Up in Memphis

      T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
      Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

      Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
      This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

      Click here for more info.

      Support ARC

      Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

      https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

      BBQ Stars

      Spotlight

      These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

      These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

      Use our links when you buy things

      Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

      https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

       


      Placeholder

      Surely you know somebody who loves outdoor cooking who deserves a gift for the holidays, birthday, anniversary, or just for being wonderful. There he is, right in the mirror! Here are our selections of best ideas, all Platinum or Gold Medalists, listed by price.

      Click here to see our list of Gold Medal Gifts


      Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

      maverick PT55 thermometer

      A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

      Click here for more info on the Maverick PT-55 Waterproof Instant-Read Thermometer Review shown above. It may be the best value in a thermometer out there


      If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

      slow n sear

      The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

      Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


      Bring The Heat With Broil King Signet's Dual Tube Burners

      the good one grill

      The Broil King Signet 320 is a modestly priced, 3-burner gas grill that packs a lot of value and power under the hood. Broil King's proprietary, dual-tube burners get hot fast and are able to achieve high, searing temps that rival most comparatively priced gas grills. The quality cast aluminum housing carries a Limited Lifetime Warranty.

      Click here to read our complete review


      The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

      the good one grill

      The Good-One Open Range is a charcoal grill with an offset smoke chamber attached. It is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. The grill sits low in front and doubles as a firebox for the smoke chamber which is spliced on above and behind so it can work like a horizontal offset smoker only better. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

      Click here to read our complete review


      Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

      Griddle And Deep Fryer All In One

      The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all. Plus it has a built in cutting board, garbage bag holder, and paper towel holder. An additional work table on the left side provides plenty of counter space.

      Click here to read our detailed review and to order


      Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

      The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

      The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers in the hardware stores because temperature control is so much easier. Best of all, it is only $299 delivered to your door!

      Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


      The Undisputed Champion!

      thermapen

      The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. Don't accept cheap substitutes.  Click here to read our test results and comprehensive review and why it won our Platinum Medal .


      Compact Powerful Sear Machine For Your Next Tailgater

      Placeholder

      Char-Broil's Grill2Go x200 is a super-portable, fun little sizzler made of heavy, rust-proof cast aluminum. The lid snaps shut. Grab the handle and you're off to the party! Char-Broil's TRU-Infrared design produces searing heat while reducing fuel consumption. A 16 ounce LP gas canister is enough to keep you flipping burgers for hours.

      Click here to read our detailed review and to order


      The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

      NK-22-Ck Grill

      Their NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

      Click here for more about what makes this grill special


      Placeholder

      G&F Suede Welder's Gloves

      Heat Resistant Gloves With Extra Long Sleeves Hold The Hot Stuff

      If you're using oven mitts at the grill, it's time to trade up. Say hello to these suede welder's gloves. They're heat resistant enough to handle hot grill grates, and flexible enough to handle tongs. The extra long sleeves even let you reach deep into the firebox to move hot logs without getting burned. Our Fave.

      Click here to read our detailed review

      Click here to order from Amazon


      GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

      grill grates

      GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, keep small foods from committing suicide, kill hotspots, are easier to clean, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily removed and moved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke to whatever is above. Every gas grill needs them.

      Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


      PK 360 grill

      Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

      The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado. Beautifully designed and completely portable. Meathead says it is his preferrred grill.

      Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

      Click here to order it direct from PK and get a special deal for AmazingRibs.com readers only


      kareubequ bbq smoker

      Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

      The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

      Click here for our review of this superb smoker


      Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

      masterbuilt gas smoker

      The First Propane Smoker With A Thermostat Makes This Baby Foolproof

      Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

      Click here to read our detailed review


      Professional Steakhouse Knife Set

      masterbuilt gas smoker

      Our founder, Meathead, wanted the same steak knives used by steakhouses such as Peter Luger, Smith & Wollensky, Morton's, Kobe Club, Palm, and many others. So he located the manufacturer and had them stamp our name on some. They boast pointed, temper-ground, serrated, high-carbon stainless-steel, half-tang blades with excellent cutting edge ability. The beefy hardwood handle provides a comfortable grip secured by three hefty rivets. He has machine washed his more than 100 times. They have never rusted and they stay shiny without polishing. Please note that we do not make, sell, or distribute these knives, they just engrave them with our name.

      Click here to read our detailed review and to order


      Fireboard: The Ultimate Top Of The Line BBQ Thermometer

      fireboard bbq thermometer

      With the ability to monitor up to six temperatures simultaneously with either Bluetooth or Wifi on your mobile phone, tablet, or computer, Fireboard is the best digital thermometer we’ve tested.

      Click here to read our detailed review


      Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

      Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

      Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

      Click here to read our detailed review and to order