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    How much did Santa's sleigh cost?


    Nothing-it was on the house.

    Comment


    • HawkerXP
      HawkerXP commented
      Editing a comment
      awwwwe.

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        A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."

        Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

        Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

        The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

        Comment


          A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender!"

          Comment


          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            This is why Mr. Bones isn't married! ;-)

          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            True Dat, I'd be a Dead Man Walkin, perpetually...

          Over in the "What I Cooked" thread, we had a picture of Lutefisk. So I thought it was time for this story over here.

          Ole and Lena had Mr. and Mrs. Thorvald over for lutefisk. Lena knew that Mr. Thorvald liked his lutefisk with lots of melted butter and black pepper. After the company had gone home, Lena made a terrible discovery. She had served Mr. Thorvald gunpowder instead of black pepper!
          Vell, it vas too late to call or go over, so Lena lay awake all night vorrying. Early the next morning she called the Thorvalds.
          "Oh, Mr. Thorvald," said Lena, "I've done a terrible ting. Last night I served you gunpowder instead of black pepper vith the lutefisk."
          "Oh, tank God!" said Mr. Thorvald. "Dot explains it all!"
          "Explains vat?" asked Lena.
          "Vell, ven ve got home, I bent over to untie my shoe, and I shot the cat!"

          Comment


            Corny.
            Attached Files
            Last edited by bep35; December 21, 2019, 07:08 AM.

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              I fear this may be my next dog...
              Attached Files

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              • Polarbear777
                Polarbear777 commented
                Editing a comment
                Poodles were originally retrievers and good ones. The crazy haircut evolved from a cut to help them swim better.

                Of course, things have changed in 100 hrs, but they can still be awesome retrievers if given the chance, and if you are willing to deal with the stuff their hair collects in the field.

              Had to share this!
              Attached Files

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                Two funny blondes traveled 2 hours from town and walked deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree. They were all warmly dressed from head to toe carrying their saw, hatchet and a rope to drag the Christmas tree back to the car. They had thought of every little detail planning this trip.

                The two blondes were so determined to find the perfect Christmas tree. So determined, that they searched for hours slugging through knee-deep snow, blistering wind and weren’t even distracted!

                Finally, five hours had passed and the sun was beginning to set, so one blonde turned to the other blonde and said, "I GIVE UP! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! There are hundreds of beautiful Christmas trees all around us. Let’s just cut one down whether it's decorated or not!!"

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                  Found these, while cruisin th Interwebs:
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                    More...
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                        • Donw
                          Donw commented
                          Editing a comment
                          Both posts were a great way to wake up this morning! Thanks.

                        • surfdog
                          surfdog commented
                          Editing a comment
                          OMG you’re on a roll my friend.

                        I’ve really gotta get a pumpkin spice oil change.

                        Comment

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