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    Winner Wet T-Shirt Contest!!!
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    You expected something else?!?
    From me?!?
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    .
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      Cartoon re-cycle time!
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        Grass-fed baby!
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        • JimLinebarger
          JimLinebarger commented
          Editing a comment
          Is that how vegans cut their grass?

        This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table. He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn’t have the courage to start talking to her
        Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. His reflexes kick in and he reaches out, plucks it out of the air, and hands it back to her.


        The redhead is mortified. “Oh my, I am so sorry,” she says as she pops her eye back into place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.”

        So he joins her table and they enjoy a wonderful meal together. Afterwards, they go to the theatre followed by drinks at a bar. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

        After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap. He says yes and they return to her place.

        He ends up staying the night. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed at how everything has been so perfect and how incredible this woman is. He can’t believe his luck. “You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman, are you this nice to every guy you meet?”

        “No,” she replies, “You just happened to catch my eye.”

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        • Jerod Broussard
          Jerod Broussard commented
          Editing a comment
          EYE for one don't see anything wrong.

        • Craigar
          Craigar commented
          Editing a comment
          Aye aye cap'n.

        • wu7y
          wu7y commented
          Editing a comment
          The "eyes" have it.

        This seems VERY appropriate for this site!

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        • JimLinebarger
          JimLinebarger commented
          Editing a comment
          No worries. I don't take pictures of my food.

        • HawkerXP
          HawkerXP commented
          Editing a comment
          Can you hang it in the PBC?

        My doctor said I should go on a light diet. So now I only eat in the daylight, the moonlight, and sometimes the refrigerator light.

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        • holehogg
          holehogg commented
          Editing a comment
          Think I need to shed some light on what he actually meant.....

        • ComfortablyNumb
          ComfortablyNumb commented
          Editing a comment
          holehogg Okay, let me grab a snack then!

        I started today out with $400 in my wallet. My wife texted me she needs $100 for ladies night out. Then my son in college texted he needed $75 so he could fuel up his car for the weekend. My daughter texted saying she needed $75 for a new outfit for her date. At the end of the day I was left with $400 and three unread texts.

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          Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

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          • MBMorgan
            MBMorgan commented
            Editing a comment
            ... that explains a lot!!!

          • wu7y
            wu7y commented
            Editing a comment
            Remember also the axiom, "close hangars in any dark closet will breed".

          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Bwahahahaha! Lovin it, Brother!

          It was reported on the news tonight that someone has been stealing the wheels off of police cars. The police are working tirelessly trying to catch the culprit.

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          • HawkerXP
            HawkerXP commented
            Editing a comment
            booo

          • klflowers
            klflowers commented
            Editing a comment
            Man, that is bad lol

          A young fellow told me he was having trouble getting his wife's attention. I told him to sit down and look comfortable.....

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          • klflowers
            klflowers commented
            Editing a comment
            And man, this one is good. And soooo true lol

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              My wife asked me to take to one of those restaurants that prepare the food right in front of you. So I took her to Subway…….that’s when the fight started!

              I went line dancing last night………..well, it was a roadside sobriety test. Same thing!

              Me: (sobbing my heart out, eyes swollen, nose red). I can't see you anymore…….I’m not going to let you hurt me like this again!
              Trainer: It was one sit up. You did one sit up!

              The three hardest things to say.
              1. I was wrong.
              2. I need help
              3. Worcestershire sauce
              Vicks vapo rub Vaping back in my day.

              Last edited by ofelles; November 24, 2019, 03:10 PM.

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