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2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled

We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for tentatively March 18-21, 2022. Click here for more info: https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/forum/announcements/misc/1014106-meat-up-in-memphis-2021-canceled
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Jokes!

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  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 634
    • North Central Iowa
    • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
      Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks ThermoPop
      Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    Here's anudder vun vit Lena:

    One day Lena stops Ole and tells him that the outhouse is full and he has to do something about it. Ole comments that Sven is coming over the next weekend, and since he has been going to an engineering school he should have an idea of the best way to handle the situation.

    That weekend Sven comes over and Ole explains his dilemma....

    "Sven, we got to do somethin' about the outhouse, it is full and Lena is getting very upset about it."

    "Well Ole, I have an idea. We will place several sticks of dynamite around the outside of the outhouse with a fuse just long enough to allow us to run behind the house before it goes off. The outhouse will be blown straight up, the crap in the hole will be blown out into the fields to fertilize them, then outhouse will fall right back down to were it was."

    Ole thought this was a fantastic plan so Ole and Sven got to work and set all the dynamite just right. They lit the fuse and ran for the house. Just as they got to the back of the house Lena came running out the back door and made a bee line for the outhouse. Before Ole could stop her she ducked into the outhouse slamming the door behind her and......

    BOOOOM!, the dynamite blew.......the outhouse then shot straight up, the crap was blown out to the fields, and the outhouse dropped right back down where it originally sat, just like Sven had planned.

    Ole runs to the outhouse worried about Lena and reaches it just as she opens the door to come out. "Lena, Lena.....are you alright?"

    Lena is a little shaken up but responds .... "Yes Ole, I am fine.......but I have to tell you, I'm sure glad I didn't let that one go in the house!"

    Comment


    • Red Man
      Red Man commented
      Editing a comment
      That was great! 🤣

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      You're on a roll, Rev. Keep 'em comin'. Have you told the one about how several of the guys are comparing how their wives make chicken (I think) taste?
  • Mosca
    Charter Member
    • Oct 2014
    • 3779
    • PA
    • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

    Click image for larger version

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    Comment

    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 634
      • North Central Iowa
      • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
        Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks ThermoPop
        Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      Click image for larger version

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      Comment

      • randy56
        Club Member
        • Aug 2017
        • 497
        • Newburgh In

        Comment


        • PBCDad
          PBCDad commented
          Editing a comment
          Huskee we need a way to dislike a comment right here ^^^

        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          Agreed PBCDad! Yuck! ComfortablyNumb

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          ermagerd, that's Funny, Right There
      • ComfortablyNumb
        Club Member
        • May 2017
        • 3478
        • Northeast Washington
        • KBQ C-60
          PK360
          Thermoworks Smoke
          Thermoworks Thermopop
          Thermoworks Dot

        I just received an email from a local farm/feed store. The subject was "Winter is hard on animals-this helps" and a link to their latest sale flyer. On page 1 was a meat grinder.

        Comment

        • holehogg
          Club Member
          • Nov 2017
          • 2571
          • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

          Visited my psychiatrist and told him I felt like an old piece of luggage.
          Told me it's the first time he's seen a case like that.

          Comment


          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            Is there a secret ingredient in your BBQ sauce down there?

          • holehogg
            holehogg commented
            Editing a comment
            gcdmd I just use a lot of funny bone effort when mixing.
        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 634
          • North Central Iowa
          • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
            Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks ThermoPop
            Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          gcdmd asked about a joke concerning chickens. Haven't come up with that one yet, but I do have this one.

          Ole decided to try raising something different for a change and chose chickens. He went into town to the Feed store and bought 300 baby chicks. Three days later he went back to the counter of the feed store and asks for another 300 chicks. " What happened to the first set ?" inquired the store owner. "They died" was Ole's terse reply. Well, small epidemics do have a way of happening so the man sold Ole another 300 chicks. Four days later Ole was back needing to buy still another 300 chicks. When told that the second 300 had died as well, the store owner replied that Ole just wasn't having much luck with chickens and asked if he knew what was going wrong. " I think I'm either planting them too far apart or too deep" replied Ole.

          Comment

          • Bogy
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 634
            • North Central Iowa
            • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
              Weber Genesis E-310
              Original Grilla
              Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
              Thermoworks ThermoPop
              Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
              Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
              2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

            Click image for larger version

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            Comment

            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 634
              • North Central Iowa
              • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks ThermoPop
                Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Ole and Sven, brother Norwegian bachelor farmers, went into town and bought a new top of the line Buick Roadmaster station wagon. They brought it home, parked it in front of the garage, got a crowbar and a hammer and then proceeded to remove all of the wood trim from the sides of the new car. After they were done, they stood back, looked at it and Sven sez to his brother,"You know sumpthin' Ole? I think I liked it better ven it vas still in t'box!"

              Comment


              • Bogy
                Bogy commented
                Editing a comment
                Yeah, I thought about how this was an oldie. Both my wife and I grew up learning to drive in "wood" paneled station wagons. Ford Country Squires in our case. But that was right about 50 years ago.

              • ComfortablyNumb
                ComfortablyNumb commented
                Editing a comment
                Bogy I have a standard joke I use when I meet someone, I say, "You've probably seen me before, my picture is hanging in every Post Office." Anyone under 30 just gives me a blank stare.

              • Bogy
                Bogy commented
                Editing a comment
                ComfortablyNumb, you're the president?
            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 634
              • North Central Iowa
              • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks ThermoPop
                Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Swen and Ole go deer hunting and Ole accidentally shoots Swen. Swen manages to get Ole out of the woods and drives him to the emergency room. After a while, the doctor comes out to Swen in the waiting room.
              "Doctor, is my friend going to be alright? I drove as fast as I could."
              "You know, Swen, we might have had a chance if you didn't take the time to prepare him and tie him to the hood of your car."

              Comment


              • ComfortablyNumb
                ComfortablyNumb commented
                Editing a comment
                A small transposition here.

              • Mr. Bones
                Mr. Bones commented
                Editing a comment
                distantly akin to th version I learned, as a lad
            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 634
              • North Central Iowa
              • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks ThermoPop
                Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Swen and Ole go duck hunting and Ole is very excited to show off his new hunting dog. They are out in their duck hunting boat and a couple of ducks fly over. They fire and a duck them drops. Ole sends his retriever out to get the duck. The dog jumps out of the boat and runs across the water picks up duck and hops back into the boat. And much to Ole's dismay, Swen doesn't say word.
              Another couple of ducks fly over. They shoot and another duck falls. Ole sends his dog out again. The dog again runs across the water, picks up the duck, and runs back and hops into the boat. Still, Swen doesn't say a word.
              This happens several more times and finally Ole smugly says, "So Swen, do you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
              "Ja, he can't swim."

              Comment

              • Bogy
                Club Member
                • Mar 2016
                • 634
                • North Central Iowa
                • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                  Weber Genesis E-310
                  Original Grilla
                  Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                  Thermoworks ThermoPop
                  Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                  Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                  2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

                After the one where Ole sends Lena across the ice without money, here's one you can share with your wife. Maybe.

                One particular Sunday Ole was lying back in the hammock and having just returned from church with Lena he was feeling a little religious. "God," said Ole, "vhen you made Lena, vhy did you make her so nice and round and so pleasant to hold?"

                Suddenly a voice from above said, "So you would love her, Ole."

                "Vell then vhy, oh vhy," asked Ole, "vhy Lord did you make her so stupid?"

                "So she would love you," replied the voice.

                Comment

                • Craigar
                  Founding Member
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 1108
                  • Papillion, NE
                  • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
                    * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
                    * - Slow 'N Sear
                    * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
                    * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
                    * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
                    * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
                    * - Thermoworks Dot
                    * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
                    * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
                    * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
                    * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
                    * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
                    * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

                  An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."

                  "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

                  "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

                  Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

                  She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

                  The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares Now what do we tell them for Christmas?

                  Comment


                  • Bogy
                    Bogy commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Very timely!

                  • Donw
                    Donw commented
                    Editing a comment
                    This sounds like a plan Kathy and I should try.🙂
                • Bogy
                  Club Member
                  • Mar 2016
                  • 634
                  • North Central Iowa
                  • Blaz'n Grill Works Grid Iron
                    Weber Genesis E-310
                    Original Grilla
                    Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                    Thermoworks ThermoPop
                    Thermoworks Thermapen Mk4
                    Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                    2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

                  One more:

                  Sven was taking his Hotrod for a spin when he saw little Ole trying to peddle his bicycle up a long steep hill. He decided to have some fun and told his nephew that he had a rope and could pull him up the hill. Little Ole agreed and Sven told him the he would go slow. He also told him that if he went to fast that little Ole should toot at him with his bicycle horn mounted on the handle bars. Sven started out slowly but little by little picked up speed. When he got going too fast for little Ole to jump off he decide to have some real fun. He put the gas peddle to the floor and let the engine go wide open. As they went over the top of the hill there was a Police car on the other side with a Radar unit. The officer radioed in," Sarge, You won't believe this. I just clocked that crazy Sven in his Hotrod going a hundred and ten." The Sargent replied," What's so hard to believe about that?" The patrol officer said, "His nephew Little Ole is on a bicycle behind him tooting his horn so he can pass."

                  Comment


                  • ComfortablyNumb
                    ComfortablyNumb commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Mosca Obviously you didn't read the first comment that started the whole HRL topic. ;-) What are the odds of all the videos of Kirchen doing HRL that we picked the same one!

                  • Mosca
                    Mosca commented
                    Editing a comment
                    ComfortablyNumb,

                    Geez.

                    I only see the last three comments, and everything before that is hidden. Since I am one of the least observant people to walk this planet, stuff like that will happen.

                    But, yeah! It’s like every performance he’s ever given was filmed and uploaded.

                  • ComfortablyNumb
                    ComfortablyNumb commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Here's another old passing song, with horn tooting to boot!

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enqNl7tdLR4
                • ComfortablyNumb
                  Club Member
                  • May 2017
                  • 3478
                  • Northeast Washington
                  • KBQ C-60
                    PK360
                    Thermoworks Smoke
                    Thermoworks Thermopop
                    Thermoworks Dot

                  So there is this fellow who keeps a pet duck and they are inseparable. One day he decides to take in a movie, and the man at the box office tells him no animals are allowed in. So the fellow, not willing to leave his duck at home alone, goes around the corner and stuffs it down his trousers. He then purchases a ticket and goes in to watch the film. However it isn't long before the hapless duck is struggling to breathe, so the fellow unzips his fly to allow the duck to stick its head out for air. As it happens, a couple of older ladies are seated next to him. The one nudges her friend and says, "The man sitting next to me has unzipped his trousers and has his privates out." Her friend replies, "Oh Mabel, you've seen one, you've seen them all." To which she says, "I don't think so, his is eating my popcorn!"

                  Comment


                  • HawkerXP
                    HawkerXP commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Quack!

                Announcement

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                2021 Meat-Up In Memphis Canceled

                We've unfortunately had to cancel the 2021 Meat-Up in Memphis. We are rescheduling for tentatively March 18-21, 2022. Click here for more info: https://pitmaster.amazingribs.com/forum/announcements/misc/1014106-meat-up-in-memphis-2021-canceled
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