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Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
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  • Bogy
    Club Member
    • Mar 2016
    • 347
    • North Central Iowa
    • Weber Genesis E-310
      Original Grilla
      Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
      Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
      2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

    Here's anudder vun vit Lena:

    One day Lena stops Ole and tells him that the outhouse is full and he has to do something about it. Ole comments that Sven is coming over the next weekend, and since he has been going to an engineering school he should have an idea of the best way to handle the situation.

    That weekend Sven comes over and Ole explains his dilemma....

    "Sven, we got to do somethin' about the outhouse, it is full and Lena is getting very upset about it."

    "Well Ole, I have an idea. We will place several sticks of dynamite around the outside of the outhouse with a fuse just long enough to allow us to run behind the house before it goes off. The outhouse will be blown straight up, the crap in the hole will be blown out into the fields to fertilize them, then outhouse will fall right back down to were it was."

    Ole thought this was a fantastic plan so Ole and Sven got to work and set all the dynamite just right. They lit the fuse and ran for the house. Just as they got to the back of the house Lena came running out the back door and made a bee line for the outhouse. Before Ole could stop her she ducked into the outhouse slamming the door behind her and......

    BOOOOM!, the dynamite blew.......the outhouse then shot straight up, the crap was blown out to the fields, and the outhouse dropped right back down where it originally sat, just like Sven had planned.

    Ole runs to the outhouse worried about Lena and reaches it just as she opens the door to come out. "Lena, Lena.....are you alright?"

    Lena is a little shaken up but responds .... "Yes Ole, I am fine.......but I have to tell you, I'm sure glad I didn't let that one go in the house!"

    Comment


    • Red Man
      Red Man commented
      Editing a comment
      That was great! 🤣

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      You're on a roll, Rev. Keep 'em comin'. Have you told the one about how several of the guys are comparing how their wives make chicken (I think) taste?
  • Mosca
    Charter Member
    • Oct 2014
    • 2791
    • PA
    • Large Big Green Egg, Weber Performer Deluxe, Weber Smokey Joe Silver, Maverick 732, DigiQ, and too much other stuff to mention.

    Click image for larger version

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    • Bogy
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 347
      • North Central Iowa
      • Weber Genesis E-310
        Original Grilla
        Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
        Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
        2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

      Click image for larger version

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      Comment

      • randy56
        Club Member
        • Aug 2017
        • 328
        • Newburgh In

        Comment


        • PBCDad
          PBCDad commented
          Editing a comment
          Huskee we need a way to dislike a comment right here ^^^

        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          Agreed PBCDad! Yuck! ComfortablyNumb

        • Mr. Bones
          Mr. Bones commented
          Editing a comment
          ermagerd, that's Funny, Right There
      • ComfortablyNumb
        Club Member
        • May 2017
        • 2762
        • Northeast Washington
        • KBQ C-60
          PK360
          Thermoworks Smoke
          Thermoworks Thermopop
          Thermoworks Dot

        I just received an email from a local farm/feed store. The subject was "Winter is hard on animals-this helps" and a link to their latest sale flyer. On page 1 was a meat grinder.

        Comment

        • holehogg
          Club Member
          • Nov 2017
          • 1620
          • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

          Visited my psychiatrist and told him I felt like an old piece of luggage.
          Told me it's the first time he's seen a case like that.

          Comment


          • gcdmd
            gcdmd commented
            Editing a comment
            Is there a secret ingredient in your BBQ sauce down there?

          • holehogg
            holehogg commented
            Editing a comment
            gcdmd I just use a lot of funny bone effort when mixing.
        • Bogy
          Club Member
          • Mar 2016
          • 347
          • North Central Iowa
          • Weber Genesis E-310
            Original Grilla
            Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
            Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
            2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

          gcdmd asked about a joke concerning chickens. Haven't come up with that one yet, but I do have this one.

          Ole decided to try raising something different for a change and chose chickens. He went into town to the Feed store and bought 300 baby chicks. Three days later he went back to the counter of the feed store and asks for another 300 chicks. " What happened to the first set ?" inquired the store owner. "They died" was Ole's terse reply. Well, small epidemics do have a way of happening so the man sold Ole another 300 chicks. Four days later Ole was back needing to buy still another 300 chicks. When told that the second 300 had died as well, the store owner replied that Ole just wasn't having much luck with chickens and asked if he knew what was going wrong. " I think I'm either planting them too far apart or too deep" replied Ole.

          Comment

          • Bogy
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 347
            • North Central Iowa
            • Weber Genesis E-310
              Original Grilla
              Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
              Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
              2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

            Click image for larger version

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            Comment

            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 347
              • North Central Iowa
              • Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Ole and Sven, brother Norwegian bachelor farmers, went into town and bought a new top of the line Buick Roadmaster station wagon. They brought it home, parked it in front of the garage, got a crowbar and a hammer and then proceeded to remove all of the wood trim from the sides of the new car. After they were done, they stood back, looked at it and Sven sez to his brother,"You know sumpthin' Ole? I think I liked it better ven it vas still in t'box!"

              Comment


              • Bogy
                Bogy commented
                Editing a comment
                Yeah, I thought about how this was an oldie. Both my wife and I grew up learning to drive in "wood" paneled station wagons. Ford Country Squires in our case. But that was right about 50 years ago.

              • ComfortablyNumb
                ComfortablyNumb commented
                Editing a comment
                Bogy I have a standard joke I use when I meet someone, I say, "You've probably seen me before, my picture is hanging in every Post Office." Anyone under 30 just gives me a blank stare.

              • Bogy
                Bogy commented
                Editing a comment
                ComfortablyNumb, you're the president?
            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 347
              • North Central Iowa
              • Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Swen and Ole go deer hunting and Ole accidentally shoots Swen. Swen manages to get Ole out of the woods and drives him to the emergency room. After a while, the doctor comes out to Swen in the waiting room.
              "Doctor, is my friend going to be alright? I drove as fast as I could."
              "You know, Swen, we might have had a chance if you didn't take the time to prepare him and tie him to the hood of your car."

              Comment


              • ComfortablyNumb
                ComfortablyNumb commented
                Editing a comment
                A small transposition here.

              • Mr. Bones
                Mr. Bones commented
                Editing a comment
                distantly akin to th version I learned, as a lad
            • Bogy
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 347
              • North Central Iowa
              • Weber Genesis E-310
                Original Grilla
                Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

              Swen and Ole go duck hunting and Ole is very excited to show off his new hunting dog. They are out in their duck hunting boat and a couple of ducks fly over. They fire and a duck them drops. Ole sends his retriever out to get the duck. The dog jumps out of the boat and runs across the water picks up duck and hops back into the boat. And much to Ole's dismay, Swen doesn't say word.
              Another couple of ducks fly over. They shoot and another duck falls. Ole sends his dog out again. The dog again runs across the water, picks up the duck, and runs back and hops into the boat. Still, Swen doesn't say a word.
              This happens several more times and finally Ole smugly says, "So Swen, do you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
              "Ja, he can't swim."

              Comment

              • Bogy
                Club Member
                • Mar 2016
                • 347
                • North Central Iowa
                • Weber Genesis E-310
                  Original Grilla
                  Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                  Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                  2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

                After the one where Ole sends Lena across the ice without money, here's one you can share with your wife. Maybe.

                One particular Sunday Ole was lying back in the hammock and having just returned from church with Lena he was feeling a little religious. "God," said Ole, "vhen you made Lena, vhy did you make her so nice and round and so pleasant to hold?"

                Suddenly a voice from above said, "So you would love her, Ole."

                "Vell then vhy, oh vhy," asked Ole, "vhy Lord did you make her so stupid?"

                "So she would love you," replied the voice.

                Comment

                • Craigar
                  Founding Member
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 1006
                  • Papillion, NE
                  • * - Weber 26.75" OTG
                    * - Weber 22.5" Premium cloaked in Crimson
                    * - Slow 'N Sear
                    * - Smoke E-Z - 26.75" (The Grain Silo)
                    * - Lodge Sportsman Grill
                    * - Weber Rapid Fire Chimney Starter
                    * - Thermoworks ThermoPop
                    * - Thermoworks Dot
                    * - iGrill2 - 4 probes
                    * - Favorite Beer - the cold one in my hand (craft beers of all flavors; haven't had a blue yummy in over 6 years) my tastes change with the season so it is difficult to name just a couple. However, I will occasionally have a vanilla porter float in the summer (Empyrean Vanilla Porter w/a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream) as I usually drink stouts & porters in the colder months, pale ales & IPAs in the warmer months. I have to add Not Your Father's Root Beer to beers I use for floats.
                    * - Booze - I don't really have a favorite, but lean towards single malt Scotch & Irish whiskey
                    * - Wines - Reds: mainly the heavy stuff mixed in with the occasional pinot noir ( I have yet to meet a malbec I didn't like); Whites: German & Nebraska (hey, I have to support the home team)
                    * - Favorite Spice outlets - Frisco Spices in LaVista, NE (the local butcher supply shop); Volcanic Peppers in Bellevue, NE
                    * - Current butchers: Just Good Meats & Fareway Foods

                  An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."

                  "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

                  "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

                  Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

                  She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

                  The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares Now what do we tell them for Christmas?

                  Comment


                  • Bogy
                    Bogy commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Very timely!

                  • Donw
                    Donw commented
                    Editing a comment
                    This sounds like a plan Kathy and I should try.🙂
                • Bogy
                  Club Member
                  • Mar 2016
                  • 347
                  • North Central Iowa
                  • Weber Genesis E-310
                    Original Grilla
                    Smokey Joe® Charcoal Grill 14"
                    Thermoworks Smoke Thermometer with gateway
                    2 iGrillminis - from before they were Weber.

                  One more:

                  Sven was taking his Hotrod for a spin when he saw little Ole trying to peddle his bicycle up a long steep hill. He decided to have some fun and told his nephew that he had a rope and could pull him up the hill. Little Ole agreed and Sven told him the he would go slow. He also told him that if he went to fast that little Ole should toot at him with his bicycle horn mounted on the handle bars. Sven started out slowly but little by little picked up speed. When he got going too fast for little Ole to jump off he decide to have some real fun. He put the gas peddle to the floor and let the engine go wide open. As they went over the top of the hill there was a Police car on the other side with a Radar unit. The officer radioed in," Sarge, You won't believe this. I just clocked that crazy Sven in his Hotrod going a hundred and ten." The Sargent replied," What's so hard to believe about that?" The patrol officer said, "His nephew Little Ole is on a bicycle behind him tooting his horn so he can pass."

                  Comment


                  • ComfortablyNumb
                    ComfortablyNumb commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Mosca Obviously you didn't read the first comment that started the whole HRL topic. ;-) What are the odds of all the videos of Kirchen doing HRL that we picked the same one!

                  • Mosca
                    Mosca commented
                    Editing a comment
                    ComfortablyNumb,

                    Geez.

                    I only see the last three comments, and everything before that is hidden. Since I am one of the least observant people to walk this planet, stuff like that will happen.

                    But, yeah! It’s like every performance he’s ever given was filmed and uploaded.

                  • ComfortablyNumb
                    ComfortablyNumb commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Here's another old passing song, with horn tooting to boot!

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enqNl7tdLR4
                • ComfortablyNumb
                  Club Member
                  • May 2017
                  • 2762
                  • Northeast Washington
                  • KBQ C-60
                    PK360
                    Thermoworks Smoke
                    Thermoworks Thermopop
                    Thermoworks Dot

                  So there is this fellow who keeps a pet duck and they are inseparable. One day he decides to take in a movie, and the man at the box office tells him no animals are allowed in. So the fellow, not willing to leave his duck at home alone, goes around the corner and stuffs it down his trousers. He then purchases a ticket and goes in to watch the film. However it isn't long before the hapless duck is struggling to breathe, so the fellow unzips his fly to allow the duck to stick its head out for air. As it happens, a couple of older ladies are seated next to him. The one nudges her friend and says, "The man sitting next to me has unzipped his trousers and has his privates out." Her friend replies, "Oh Mabel, you've seen one, you've seen them all." To which she says, "I don't think so, his is eating my popcorn!"

                  Comment


                  • HawkerXP
                    HawkerXP commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Quack!

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                Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

                Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
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                Meat-Up in Memphis

                T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
                Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

                Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
                This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

                Click here for more info.

                Support ARC

                Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

                https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

                BBQ Stars

                Spotlight

                These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

                These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

                Use our links when you buy things

                Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

                https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

                 


                Placeholder

                Surely you know somebody who loves outdoor cooking who deserves a gift for the holidays, birthday, anniversary, or just for being wonderful. There he is, right in the mirror! Here are our selections of best ideas, all Platinum or Gold Medalists, listed by price.

                Click here to see our list of Gold Medal Gifts


                Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

                maverick PT55 thermometer

                A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

                Click here for more info on the Maverick PT-55 Waterproof Instant-Read Thermometer Review shown above. It may be the best value in a thermometer out there


                If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

                slow n sear

                The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

                Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


                Bring The Heat With Broil King Signet's Dual Tube Burners

                the good one grill

                The Broil King Signet 320 is a modestly priced, 3-burner gas grill that packs a lot of value and power under the hood. Broil King's proprietary, dual-tube burners get hot fast and are able to achieve high, searing temps that rival most comparatively priced gas grills. The quality cast aluminum housing carries a Limited Lifetime Warranty.

                Click here to read our complete review


                The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

                the good one grill

                The Good-One Open Range is a charcoal grill with an offset smoke chamber attached. It is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. The grill sits low in front and doubles as a firebox for the smoke chamber which is spliced on above and behind so it can work like a horizontal offset smoker only better. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

                Click here to read our complete review


                Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                Griddle And Deep Fryer All In One

                The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all. Plus it has a built in cutting board, garbage bag holder, and paper towel holder. An additional work table on the left side provides plenty of counter space.

                Click here to read our detailed review and to order


                Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

                The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers in the hardware stores because temperature control is so much easier. Best of all, it is only $299 delivered to your door!

                Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


                The Undisputed Champion!

                thermapen

                The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. Don't accept cheap substitutes.  Click here to read our test results and comprehensive review and why it won our Platinum Medal .


                Compact Powerful Sear Machine For Your Next Tailgater

                Placeholder

                Char-Broil's Grill2Go x200 is a super-portable, fun little sizzler made of heavy, rust-proof cast aluminum. The lid snaps shut. Grab the handle and you're off to the party! Char-Broil's TRU-Infrared design produces searing heat while reducing fuel consumption. A 16 ounce LP gas canister is enough to keep you flipping burgers for hours.

                Click here to read our detailed review and to order


                The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

                NK-22-Ck Grill

                Their NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

                Click here for more about what makes this grill special


                Placeholder

                G&F Suede Welder's Gloves

                Heat Resistant Gloves With Extra Long Sleeves Hold The Hot Stuff

                If you're using oven mitts at the grill, it's time to trade up. Say hello to these suede welder's gloves. They're heat resistant enough to handle hot grill grates, and flexible enough to handle tongs. The extra long sleeves even let you reach deep into the firebox to move hot logs without getting burned. Our Fave.

                Click here to read our detailed review

                Click here to order from Amazon


                GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

                grill grates

                GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, keep small foods from committing suicide, kill hotspots, are easier to clean, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily removed and moved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke to whatever is above. Every gas grill needs them.

                Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


                kareubequ bbq smoker

                Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

                The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

                Click here for our review of this superb smoker


                Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

                masterbuilt gas smoker

                The First Propane Smoker With A Thermostat Makes This Baby Foolproof

                Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

                Click here to read our detailed review


                Professional Steakhouse Knife Set

                masterbuilt gas smoker

                Our founder, Meathead, wanted the same steak knives used by steakhouses such as Peter Luger, Smith & Wollensky, Morton's, Kobe Club, Palm, and many others. So he located the manufacturer and had them stamp our name on some. They boast pointed, temper-ground, serrated, high-carbon stainless-steel, half-tang blades with excellent cutting edge ability. The beefy hardwood handle provides a comfortable grip secured by three hefty rivets. He has machine washed his more than 100 times. They have never rusted and they stay shiny without polishing. Please note that we do not make, sell, or distribute these knives, they just engrave them with our name.

                Click here to read our detailed review and to order


                PK 360 grill

                Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

                The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado. Beautifully designed and completely portable. Meathead says it is his preferrred grill.

                Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

                Click here to order it direct from PK and get a special deal for AmazingRibs.com readers only


                Fireboard: The Ultimate Top Of The Line BBQ Thermometer

                fireboard bbq thermometer

                With the ability to monitor up to six temperatures simultaneously with either Bluetooth or Wifi on your mobile phone, tablet, or computer, Fireboard is the best digital thermometer we’ve tested.

                Click here to read our detailed review


                Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

                Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

                Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

                Click here to read our detailed review and to order