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    Nothing quite like an Irish sense of humour. I am so doing this!

    https://digg.com/video/funny-recording-funeral

    Comment


    • Thunder77
      Thunder77 commented
      Editing a comment
      That's good!

    • THE Humble Texan
      THE Humble Texan commented
      Editing a comment
      very few people have ever noticed the first 3 letters in funeral spell fun.

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    • Thunder77
      Thunder77 commented
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      😂😂😂😝

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      I told my wife I want to be cremated.
      She took me seriously. She said I have an appointment this Friday!

      Comment


        I was visiting my Daughter last night. When I asked to borrow a newspaper
        “This is the 21st century Dad.” she said “We don’t waste money on newspapers. Here use my iPad.”
        I can tell you this…………that fly never know what hit him!


        Apart from being exhausted,
        Financially unstable,
        Nearing a mental breakdown and being fat,
        Everything is great.
        Thanks

        Comment


        • Donw
          Donw commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks. I’ve already repeated the newspaper joke several times after reading it here and it has gotten some great laughs. Keep them coming because my repertoire is getting stale and I need some more material.🙂

        • gcdmd
          gcdmd commented
          Editing a comment
          In my case it would be my grandkids. They've informed me more than once that on the information super highway I'm roadkill.

        Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?



        In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

        Comment


        • THE Humble Texan
          THE Humble Texan commented
          Editing a comment
          If they had come out with #1 first there would not have been a #2. GO YODA

        Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear.

        At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

        She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said,

        "Sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight".

        I replied,

        "Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!"

        A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said,

        "What she really said was:666136429.

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              • ScottyC13
                ScottyC13 commented
                Editing a comment
                I can check all those boxes!! LOL thanks for posting.

              • Thunder77
                Thunder77 commented
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                Trash panda for the win!

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              • ComfortablyNumb
                ComfortablyNumb commented
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                See yourself out? I figured you'd be telling us you'd be here all week....

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              • pkadare
                pkadare commented
                Editing a comment
                There must be a web site for humourous church signs. One of our local churches has had some really good ones over the years. A couple that stick in my mind are:
                "I really wish Noah had swatted those two mosquitos."
                "Adam and Eve were the very first people to not read the Apple Terms and Conditions."

              • Bogy
                Bogy commented
                Editing a comment
                Back when I served a congregation in St. Louis we had one of the message signs like this. I took the responsibility of changing it (also meant that I had control of what got posted). I used a series that had been on billboards around the country, like "What part of 'Love Thy Neighbor didn't you get!'" Also had a book meant for stuff to use as filler in Bulletins.

              R-17 but I had to do it....

              On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for a consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for e.d. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.

              The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned, 'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."

              The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

              "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

              He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

              When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

              His wife was thrilled and began removing her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

              And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle!


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                What’s the fastest liquid on Earth?

                Milk. It’s pasteurized before you see it.

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                • radshop
                  radshop commented
                  Editing a comment
                  So bad it's good!

                • holehogg
                  holehogg commented
                  Editing a comment
                  No. It's just bad.

                • ScottyC13
                  ScottyC13 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Dad joke.

                Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
                Wisdom is knowing not to put one in a fruit salad.
                Philosophy is wondering if a Blood Mary counts as a smoothie.

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