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  • x101airborne
    Club Member
    • Aug 2015
    • 61
    • Victoria Tx

    An older wealthy Texas Cattleman and his younger wife go to the County Fair. The wife had been recently giving him grief about his hit or miss ability to "rise to the occasion" lately. While walking the Bull Judging pens:
    Wife: See? That sign says that bull bred 12 heifers last year! Man grumbles and walks on.
    In front of another stall, Wife: See? That bull bred 30 heifers last year! Man grumbles and walks on.
    In front of a third stall, Wife: See? That bull bred 80 heifers last year!
    Man finally has enough and says "Ever notice you keep saying "heifers" and not "the same old cow"?

    Comment

    • David Parrish
      Founding Member - Pit Boss Emeritus
      • May 2014
      • 5045
      • Charlotte, NC
        • Slow 'N Sear Kamado (SnSK)
        • Lots of grills that work with Slow 'N Sear
        • LOTS of digital thermometers (my fav)
        • LOTS of accessories
        • Favorite Beer - Fat Tire
        • Favorite Bourbon - Woodford Reserve
        • Favorite White Wine - Cakebread Chardonnay
        • Favorite Red Wine - Yes, Please
        • President/Owner - SnS Grills

      I had to share...



      Comment

      • DWCowles
        Founding Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 9763
        • Smiths Grove, Ky
        • Hi, my name is Darrell. I'm an OTR truck driver for over 25 years. During my off time I love doing backyard cooks. I have a 48" Lang Deluxe smoker, Rec-Tec pellet smoker,1 Weber Genesis 330, 1 Weber Performer (blue), 2 Weber kettles (1 black and 1 Copper), 1 26" Weber kettle, a WSM, 8 Maverick Redi Chek thermometers, a PartyQ, 2 SnS, Grill Grates, Cast Iron grates, 1 ThermoPop (orange) and 2 ThermoPens (pink and orange) and planning on adding more cooking accessories. Now I have an Anova sous vide, the Dragon blower and 2 Chef alarms from Thermoworks.

        A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The man puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the floor laughing because on the screen it say,"Error. Not long enough"

        Comment

        • jmoffatt
          Club Member
          • Aug 2015
          • 10
          • Benton Louisiana
          • MES 30
            Weber Kettle
            Oklahoma Joes vertical offset

          in the bar the other day had gas really bad and needed to relieve it, the music was really loud so I figured I'd just let it go with the beat of the music and no one would ever know, so I did through several beats, feeling much better I finished my beer and turned to leave and noticed everyone was starring at me, thats when I remembered I was wearing my Ipod.

          Comment

          • mayapoppa
            Charter Member
            • Dec 2014
            • 201
            • San Francisco Bay Area
            • PBC
              Weber 22" Kettle
              Slow N' Sear
              Weber Spirit Gas Grill
              ThermoPop Thermometer
              Maverick Wireless Thermometer

            A vegan, an atheist, and a CrossFitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everybody within two minutes.

            Comment


            • Huskee
              Huskee commented
              Editing a comment
              Lol. There are a few life choices that fit that "broadcast it emphatically to everyone" category aren't there.
          • (brownie)
            Former Member
            • Aug 2015
            • 25
            • Central Oklahoma

            Two cannibals were eating a comedian when one asked the other, " Does that taste funny to you?".

            Comment

            • David Parrish
              Founding Member - Pit Boss Emeritus
              • May 2014
              • 5045
              • Charlotte, NC
                • Slow 'N Sear Kamado (SnSK)
                • Lots of grills that work with Slow 'N Sear
                • LOTS of digital thermometers (my fav)
                • LOTS of accessories
                • Favorite Beer - Fat Tire
                • Favorite Bourbon - Woodford Reserve
                • Favorite White Wine - Cakebread Chardonnay
                • Favorite Red Wine - Yes, Please
                • President/Owner - SnS Grills

              Y'all be sure not to stress too much over your cookin today

              Comment

              • richinlbrg
                Founding Member
                • Jul 2014
                • 1858
                • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
                • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

                Comment

                • HC in SC
                  Former Member
                  • Nov 2014
                  • 476
                  • SC Lowcountry

                  An old, married guys takes a week off from work for vacation.

                  The first morning the guy gets up and his wife says, "I need you fix the sink in the bathroom". He says, "What do I look like - Freaking Mr. Plumber? I'm headed to the gun range today hon."

                  The next morning he gets up and his wife says, "I need you to fix the light on the car". He replies, "What do I look like, Mr. Freaking Goodwrench? I'm going golfing today babe".

                  The 3rd morning the guy gets up and tells his wife, "Ok - I'll go ahead and fix the sink". His wife says, "No worries - Jim from next door took care of it." So the man replies, "Ok - well I'll get to work on the car light then." The wife responds, "Oh no - Jim took care of the car too - its all fixed."

                  The man then asks his wife, "So what do we owe Jim for all of this work?" The wife says, "Well Jim asked that I either bake him a cake or sleep with him." Then there was a long silent pause.

                  "So what did you do for Jim, then", the man queries.

                  His wife sits back, smiles real big and says, "What do I look like, Betty Freaking Crocker?!?!?!"
                  Last edited by HC in SC; December 5th, 2015, 07:49 AM.

                  Comment

                  • HC in SC
                    Former Member
                    • Nov 2014
                    • 476
                    • SC Lowcountry

                    Little Johnny's class had an assignment to go home and write a story, then the next day each child would read their story in front of the class.

                    The next day the teacher calls on everyone but Little Johnny to read their stories first, because she knows how Little Johnny has a propensity for swearing and foul language.

                    When the only student left to read their story is Little Johnny, the teacher tells him, "Look Johnny - read your story, but you had better not curse!"

                    Little Johnny nod OK and starts off his story:

                    "Yesterday I built a wagon. I put spare trailer wheels on it with extra grease on the bearings and axles - it was a FAST wagon. I put the wagon away in the garage, but then I saw my little brother playing with it. He had my wagon tied to our goat and it was pulling him around the yard in it.

                    Then my little brother starts going down a steep hill with the goat pulling the wagon. The wagon is so fast it starts catching up to the goat. The next think I know the handle of the wagon goes straight up the goat's ass!"

                    The teacher, very upset, says, "Little Johnny - you mean "rectum", don't you?"

                    Little Johnny looks back at the teacher and explains, "Oh hell yeah rectum -- killed the damn goat too!"

                    Comment

                    • HC in SC
                      Former Member
                      • Nov 2014
                      • 476
                      • SC Lowcountry

                      Ok last one for today:

                      A guy gets thrown in prison - he has never been to prison before.

                      One night his cellmate asks him if he would like to come to the Rec Room with him to tell jokes -- all the inmates got togher and told jokes every Wednesday night to pass the time. The guy says sure - he'd love to so they both go.

                      The Rec Room is crowded out with a few dozen inmates. All the sudden one inmate yells "307!", and the whole room erupts in laughter.

                      After the room settles down another inmate says "651!", and again the room erupts in laughter.

                      When the "joke telling" is over with everyone goes back to their cells for the night. The new guy asks his cellmate what the heck had just happened. His cellmate tells him that since many of the inmates had been there so long and there is only a couple of hours, every joke ever told had been numbered and committed to memory, so that instead of telling the whole joke, you just call out the joke number.

                      So the new guy memorizes and memorizes all the jokes he can so he is ready for the next Wednesday night.

                      The next joke telling night comes and all the inmates gather as usual in the Rec Room. The new guy decides he'll break the ice and shouts out "288!".

                      The room fell so silent you could hear a pin drop. The new guy looks over at his cellmate, and his cellmates says, "Awwww man -- you told it wrong!"

                      Comment


                      • jecucolo
                        jecucolo commented
                        Editing a comment
                        My dad told me that joke but his punch line was
                        " Some guys just cant tell a joke"
                    • David Parrish
                      Founding Member - Pit Boss Emeritus
                      • May 2014
                      • 5045
                      • Charlotte, NC
                        • Slow 'N Sear Kamado (SnSK)
                        • Lots of grills that work with Slow 'N Sear
                        • LOTS of digital thermometers (my fav)
                        • LOTS of accessories
                        • Favorite Beer - Fat Tire
                        • Favorite Bourbon - Woodford Reserve
                        • Favorite White Wine - Cakebread Chardonnay
                        • Favorite Red Wine - Yes, Please
                        • President/Owner - SnS Grills

                      Let's keep this right here where our spouses can't find it.

                      Comment


                      • Huskee
                        Huskee commented
                        Editing a comment
                        *You're. #spellcheckpolice

                      • fuzzydaddy
                        fuzzydaddy commented
                        Editing a comment
                        They're, their, there. Well at least they got there right. lol

                      • Powersmoke_80
                        Powersmoke_80 commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Oh yes I am, or at least Post Christmas. Lol
                    • David Parrish
                      Founding Member - Pit Boss Emeritus
                      • May 2014
                      • 5045
                      • Charlotte, NC
                        • Slow 'N Sear Kamado (SnSK)
                        • Lots of grills that work with Slow 'N Sear
                        • LOTS of digital thermometers (my fav)
                        • LOTS of accessories
                        • Favorite Beer - Fat Tire
                        • Favorite Bourbon - Woodford Reserve
                        • Favorite White Wine - Cakebread Chardonnay
                        • Favorite Red Wine - Yes, Please
                        • President/Owner - SnS Grills

                      Click image for larger version

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                      Who'd have thunk it?

                      Comment

                      • richinlbrg
                        Founding Member
                        • Jul 2014
                        • 1858
                        • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
                        • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

                        Back on January 4th, a group of Ocala Florida bikers were riding east on Hwy.40 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Blackwater Bridge. So they stopped.

                        George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
                        "Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

                        She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

                        While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
                        why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"

                        So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
                        and it was a long, deep, lingering tongue swapping kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

                        After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

                        "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

                        It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

                        Comment


                        • jecucolo
                          jecucolo commented
                          Editing a comment
                          That was awesome.
                      • Huskee
                        Pit Boss
                        • May 2014
                        • 14788
                        • central MI, USA
                        • Follow me on Instagram, huskeesbarbecue

                          Want a free bottle of whiskey? Check out my link to Flaviar.com, you join with it, we both get a $50 bottle free.

                          Smokers / Grills
                          • Yoder loaded Wichita offset smoker
                          • PBC
                          • Grilla Silverbac pellet grill
                          • Slow 'N Sear Deluxe Kamado (SnSK)
                          • Dyna-Glo XL Premium dual chamber charcoal grill
                          • Weber 22" Original Kettle Premium (copper)
                          • Weber 26" Original Kettle Premium (black)
                          • Weber Jumbo Joe Gold (18.5")
                          • Weber Smokey Joe Silver (14.5")
                          • Brinkmann cabinet charcoal smoker (repurposed)

                          Thermometers
                          • (3) Maverick XR-50: 4-probe Wireless Thermometers
                          • (7) Maverick ET-732s
                          • (1) Maverick ET-735 Bluetooth (in box)
                          • (1) Smoke by ThermoWorks
                          • (1) Signals by ThermoWorks
                          • Thermapen MkII, orange
                          • ThermoPop, yellow
                          • ThermoWorks ChefAlarm
                          • Morpilot 6-probe wireless
                          • ThermoWorks Infrared IRK2
                          • ThermoWorks fridge & freezer therms as well

                          Accessories
                          • Instant Pot 6qt
                          • Anova Bluetooth SV
                          • Kitchen Aide mixer & meat grinder attachment
                          • Kindling Cracker King (XL)
                          • BBQ Dragon
                          • Weber full & half chimneys, Char-Broil Half Time chimney
                          • Weber grill topper
                          • Slow 'N Sear Original, XL, and SnS Charcoal Basket (for Jumbo Joe)
                          • Drip 'N Griddle Pan, 22' Easy Spin Grate, and Elevated Cooking grate, by ABCbarbecue
                          • Pittsburgh Digital Moisture Meter

                          Beverages
                          • Favorite summer beer: Leinenkugels Summer & Grapefruit Shandy, Hamm's, Michelob Ultra Pure Gold
                          • Fav other beer: DAB, Sam Adams regular, Third Shift amber or Coors Batch 19, Stella Artois
                          • Fav cheap beers: Pabst, High Life, Hamm's & Stroh's
                          • Most favorite beer: The one in your fridge
                          • Wine: Red- big, bold, tannic & peppery- Petite Sirah, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauv, Sangiovese, Syrah, etc
                          • Whiskey: Buffalo Trace, Eagle Rare, E.H. Taylor, Blanton's, Old Forester 1870, Elijah Craig, Basil Hayden's. Neat please.
                          • Scotch: Current favorite- The Arran (anything by them), Glenmorangie 12yr Lasanta, sherry cask finished. The Balvenie Double Wood, also like Oban 18yr, and The Glenlivet Nadurra (Oloroso sherry cask finished) among others. Neat please.

                          About me
                          Real name: Aaron
                          Location: Farwell, Michigan- near Clare. (dead center of lower peninsula)

                          Occupation:
                          • Healthcare- Licensed & Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) for MidMichigan Health, a University of Michigan Health System.

                        richinlbrg I LOLed loudly at this. Best joke in a long time.

                        Comment


                        • Breadhead
                          Breadhead commented
                          Editing a comment
                          😆 now that's funny!

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                      Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

                      Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
                      Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
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                      Meat-Up in Memphis

                      T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
                      Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

                      Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
                      This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

                      Click here for more info.

                      Support ARC

                      Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

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                      Spotlight

                      These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

                      These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

                      Use our links when you buy things

                      Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

                      https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

                       


                      If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

                      slow n sear

                      The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

                      Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


                      The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

                      the good one grill

                      The Good-One Open Range is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

                      Click here to read our complete review


                      Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

                      Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                      The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

                      Click here to read our detailed review and to order


                      The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

                      Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                      The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers because temperature control is so much easier.

                      Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


                      The Undisputed Champion!

                      thermapen

                      The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

                      Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


                      Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

                      Grilla pellet smoker

                      We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

                      Click here for our review on this unique smoker


                      Delta by Nuke,
                      Stylish and Affordable
                      Gaucho Grill

                      Weber Genesis Grill

                      Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

                      Click here to read our complete review


                      Genesis II E-335 
                      A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

                      Weber Genesis Grill

                      Weber’s Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

                      Click here to read our complete review


                      GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

                      grill grates

                      GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

                      Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


                      Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

                      PK 360 grill

                      The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

                      Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

                      Click here to order directly and get an exclusive AmazingRibs.com deal


                      Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

                      kareubequ bbq smoker

                      The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

                      Click here for our review of this superb smoker


                      Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

                      masterbuilt gas smoker

                      This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

                      Click here to read our detailed review


                      Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

                      maverick PT55 thermometer

                      A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

                      Click here to read our complete review


                      Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

                      Grilla pellet smoker

                      FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

                      Click here for our review of this unique device


                      The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

                      NK-22-Ck Grill

                      Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

                      Click here for more about what makes this grill special


                      Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

                      Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

                      Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

                      Click here to read our detailed review and to order