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Jokes!

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    Someone took my mood ring.
    I’m not sure how I feel about that.

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      • Spinaker
        Spinaker commented
        Editing a comment
        Lol

      • Polarbear777
        Polarbear777 commented
        Editing a comment
        I wouldn’t say “hello darlin’” to that guy even if “it’s been a long time”

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          I’m not having much luck with jobs lately.


          I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn’t suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn’t cut it as barber; didn’t have the patience to be a doctor; didn’t fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn’t see any future as a historian.

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          • Polarbear777
            Polarbear777 commented
            Editing a comment
            You forgot that you quit that job at the candle factory because you refused to work extra hours on the wick-ends.

          Wife crashed the car again today. She told the police the man she collided with was on his mobile phone and drinking a can of beer.

          Police said he can do what he likes in his own living room.

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            • RonB
              RonB commented
              Editing a comment
              Another stealth joke...

            • ofelles
              ofelles commented
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              I'm not the only one?

            • HawkerXP
              HawkerXP commented
              Editing a comment
              ouch

            Did you hear about the farmer who won the $100,000,000 lottery? When asked what he was going to do with the money he said, "I suppose I'll just keep on farming until it runs out."

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            • Mudkat
              Mudkat commented
              Editing a comment
              I hate liking that joke!

            Inspiration is where ya finds it, sometimes...; seen this at work, one recent day, took a few snaps...
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            Cain't speak fer yerselves, but it made me feel like a Contender...

            (Momentarily)
            Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 15, 2019, 05:43 PM.

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            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Yup btdt, summat to be said fer not openin a particular can of worms, until one wishes to consume it, in its entirety ComfortablyNumb ...

              (An leave us not even git started, dissertatin upon th 'Whole Ball Of Wax' thing...
              Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 15, 2019, 06:14 PM.

            • Mudkat
              Mudkat commented
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              I knew my lawn mower sucked.

            • gcdmd
              gcdmd commented
              Editing a comment
              ComfortablyNumb
              Recalling an old line from "The Magnificent Seven,"
              "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

            “From dust you came...and to dust you shall return.”
            That’s why I don’t dust...
            it might be someone I know.

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            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              When I do actually (finally) dust, it typically ends up bein more like an Archeological Technique, rather that a Housekeepin one lol

            One more try.


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            • Mudkat
              Mudkat commented
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              I like the caution motif.

            • holehogg
              holehogg commented
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              That's scratching the bottom of the barrel rather stick to cooking in a barrel. ☺

            The owner of a drug store walked into his store one day, only to notice a man leaning heavily against a wall.

            The owner went over to his staff member behind the counter and asked them, “What’s wrong with that guy over there by the wall?”

            The staff member replied, “Oh him – he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find any cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative instead.”

            The owner shouted, “You fool! What were you thinking? You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”

            The staff member said, “Of course I can. Look at him, he’s not coughed once since I gave it to him – he’s too scared!”

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            • Henrik
              Henrik commented
              Editing a comment
              Lol!

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            • CaptainMike
              CaptainMike commented
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              Going down the only road you've ever known.....

            • Craigar
              Craigar commented
              Editing a comment
              Now I feel the need to buy motorcycle insurance.

            Wife: You told me you would be back from the pub before seven.
            Me: I am home before seven. I had six beers and came home.

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            • Craigar
              Craigar commented
              Editing a comment
              Note to self...

            • Henrik
              Henrik commented
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              Love it!

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