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Jokes!

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    This is most likely not new, but it sure made me laugh out loud:

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      Police: Do you know why I pulled you over?
      Me: Police were outlawed in 2148, so why are you dressed like that?
      Police: It is 2019.
      Me: Damn, I must have been doing 88 miles per hour.

      Comment


        A fly feels a bug on its back.



        “Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?”, it asks.

        “I mite be”, giggles the mite.

        “That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard”, groans the fly.

        “What do you expect?”, says the mite. “I came up with it on the fly!”

        Comment


        • holehogg
          holehogg commented
          Editing a comment
          🔇.

        In a span oi 11 years 115 people died in weightlifting accidents at Gyms.

        In the same 11 Year period only 1 person died eating a doughnut.

        MAKE GOOD CHOICES!

        Comment


        • Huskee
          Huskee commented
          Editing a comment
          Same could be said for salad & veggie recalls vs hamburger & bacon recalls 🤔

        Not to cast aspersions on anyone, but this reminded me of some of the jokes we share here.

        Comment


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          • Mr. Bones
            Mr. Bones commented
            Editing a comment
            Ya sure nailed that one, Brother!
            BTDT, still have some of th t shirts...

          • RonB
            RonB commented
            Editing a comment
            Mr. Bones - I wus thinkin' of you and lonnie mac when I posted this...
            Last edited by RonB; August 31, 2019, 07:31 AM.

          • ScottyC13
            ScottyC13 commented
            Editing a comment
            I made $110 a night playing at Steakhouses back in the early ‘90s!

          Public Service Announcement

          DON'T do this, if yall have a cat, a'ight?

          Trust an ol hillbilly; cats do, instinctively, know, zackly where yer Major Arteries are located... (an yer 'boys', btw)

          Jus Sayin'...
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          Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 1, 2019, 11:32 AM.

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            Seen this over yonder, kinda like th writeup, but LOVED th meme, so sharin it here...
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            Now...How dat makes me feel??? Good Question, yall.
            Reckon bout like so...
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            When hard pressed upon, possibily even like so...

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            YMMV, of course... Please, yall, feel free to stand by to stand by, an milla bout, Smartly!
            Last edited by Mr. Bones; September 1, 2019, 01:16 PM.

            Comment


            • Polarbear777
              Polarbear777 commented
              Editing a comment
              That first dish is NOT organic!

            • ofelles
              ofelles commented
              Editing a comment
              Sometimes I worry about you Mr. Bones. I'm beginning to think I should always worry about you.

            • Mr. Bones
              Mr. Bones commented
              Editing a comment
              Heehee!

            The picture posted by RonB reminded me of this.

            What do you say to a musician in a suit?
            ”Will the defendant please rise.”

            Comment


            • Donw
              Donw commented
              Editing a comment
              What do call a drummer whose girlfriend broke up with him?
              Homeless.

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              • Mosca
                Mosca commented
                Editing a comment
                Oooo. That’s a good one. Because you need to know the other joke first.

              I’ve started heavily investing in stocks: beef, chicken, veal, fish, and vegetable.
              I hope one day to be a bouillonaire.

              Comment


              • ofelles
                ofelles commented
                Editing a comment
                groan!

              Everytime I go to the ATM I feel sick.
              I think I've got withdrawal symptoms.

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                • Henrik
                  Henrik commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Ha ha ha!

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                • Craigar
                  Craigar commented
                  Editing a comment
                  And why does it cost $89.95?

                • RonB
                  RonB commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Craigar - I saw that - it must be a truckload sale...

                • ofelles
                  ofelles commented
                  Editing a comment
                  It would be fun to watch her face as I reached for my belt and said. Lets try this out!

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