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Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
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  • Donw
    Club Member
    • Jul 2017
    • 2015

    A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak with fries and a Coke please" So the bartender took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill.

    All this seemed pretty normal until the panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter.

    The bartender came over and said "Wha.. wh.. You just shot my friend!!!"

    The panda calmly replied "Do you know what I am?"

    "Why yes," the bartender answered. "Your a panda."

    "Good," the panda nodded "Now go home and look up 'panda' in the dictionary." And with that, the panda walked out of the bar.

    The bartender was a little unsure, however he was very eager to be enlighted on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary.

    After a while, he found 'panda' and quickly read the definition:

    PANDA:
    1. A black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves

    Comment


    • jecucolo
      jecucolo commented
      Editing a comment
      It’s just comma sense...

    • Henrik
      Henrik commented
      Editing a comment
      Love it!

    • gcdmd
      gcdmd commented
      Editing a comment
      If he had eaten puerco pibil he would have had to shoot the cook.
  • Thunder77
    Founding Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 2505
    • Halethorpe, MD
    • Weber 22.5" Kettle with SnS Brinkmann 5 burner gasser. Akorn Kamado, and Akorn Jr kamado. Love grilling steaks, ribs, and chicken. Need to master smoked salmon Favorite cool weather beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest Favorite warm weather beer: Yuengling Traditional Lager All-time favorite drink: Single Malt Scotch

    Sorry about this....
    Attached Files

    Comment


    • JimLinebarger
      JimLinebarger commented
      Editing a comment
      Not sure sorry enough! lol
  • RonB
    Club Member
    • Apr 2016
    • 10787
    • Near Richmond VA
    • Weber Performer Deluxe
      SNS
      Pizza insert
      Rotisserie
      Smokenator 1000
      Cookshack Smokette Elite
      2 Thermapens
      Chefalarm
      Dot
      lots of probes.
      CyberQ

    A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot.


    Pun in, ten dead.

    Comment

    • surfdog
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 494
      • Sunny SoCal
      • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

      A woman who is 3 months
      pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6
      months later she awakes and asks
      the doctor about her baby.
      Doctor: You had twins, a boy and
      a girl, and they are both fine.
      Luckily, your brother named them.
      Woman: Oh no, not my brother!
      He's an idiot! What did he name
      the girl?
      Doctor: Denise.
      Woman: Well that isn't too bad,
      and what did he name the boy?
      Doctor: Denephew.

      Comment


      • Henrik
        Henrik commented
        Editing a comment
        Ha ha ha, so good!
    • surfdog
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 494
      • Sunny SoCal
      • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

      Click image for larger version

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ID:	729801 This reminds me of my brother. LOL

      Comment


      • Henrik
        Henrik commented
        Editing a comment
        Brilliant!
    • surfdog
      Club Member
      • Mar 2016
      • 494
      • Sunny SoCal
      • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

      Click image for larger version

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      Comment


      • Thunder77
        Thunder77 commented
        Editing a comment
        Rofl!

      • Huskee
        Huskee commented
        Editing a comment
        Lol! Now I understand hashbrowns.
    • holehogg
      Club Member
      • Nov 2017
      • 1589
      • Port Elizabeth, South Africa

      Viagra doesn't make you James Bond.
      But it does make you Roger Moore.

      Comment

      • 58limited
        Club Member
        • Dec 2018
        • 307
        • SE Texas
        • "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~Benjamin Franklin

        . Click image for larger version

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        Comment

        • ofelles
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 890
          • Brentwood CA
          • Yoder YS640 on Comp cart
            Klose Charcoal Grill
            VacMaster Pro 380 sealer
            Maverick ET-733
            Maverick PT-75
            Thermoworks Signal
            Thermoworks Dot
            Thermopen Mk4

          Comment


          • RonB
            RonB commented
            Editing a comment
            Another stealth joke...
        • ofelles
          Club Member
          • Jun 2018
          • 890
          • Brentwood CA
          • Yoder YS640 on Comp cart
            Klose Charcoal Grill
            VacMaster Pro 380 sealer
            Maverick ET-733
            Maverick PT-75
            Thermoworks Signal
            Thermoworks Dot
            Thermopen Mk4

          FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:



          Please enjoy the following :

          1.DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

          2.ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

          3.ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

          4.IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

          5.THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

          6.I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

          7.WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

          8.IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

          9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

          10.IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

          11.WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

          12.WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

          13.IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

          14.WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

          15.WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

          16.IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

          17.CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

          18.IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

          19.WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

          20.HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

          21.WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

          22.ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

          23.DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

          24.DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

          25.HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

          26.IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

          27.IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

          28.IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

          29.WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

          30.WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASTEROIDS"?

          31.WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

          32.WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

          33.CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD ?

          Comment


          • CaptainMike
            CaptainMike commented
            Editing a comment
            Hmmm, things that make you go "Hmmm"

          • ComfortablyNumb
            ComfortablyNumb commented
            Editing a comment
            Huskee I tried that, but sales were flat and I found myself in a sticky situation.

          • JimLinebarger
            JimLinebarger commented
            Editing a comment
            #9 wouldn't that also constitue a conspiracy?
        • pkadare
          Club Member
          • Jun 2019
          • 450
          • Bobcaygeon, Ontario
          • My gear:
            22 Weber Kettle
            Napoleon PRO Charcoal Kettle Grill
            Broil King Keg
            Traeger Pro 34
            Napoleon Prestige Pro 500
            Pit Barrel Cooker

          What kind of dinosaur writes romance novels?
          Brontësaurus.

          Comment


          • surfdog
            surfdog commented
            Editing a comment
            Well played.
        • pkadare
          Club Member
          • Jun 2019
          • 450
          • Bobcaygeon, Ontario
          • My gear:
            22 Weber Kettle
            Napoleon PRO Charcoal Kettle Grill
            Broil King Keg
            Traeger Pro 34
            Napoleon Prestige Pro 500
            Pit Barrel Cooker

          I went to the zoo. There was only one animal. It was a dog.

          It was a shih tzu.

          Comment

          • surfdog
            Club Member
            • Mar 2016
            • 494
            • Sunny SoCal
            • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

            Apologies if this has been posted. (Didn’t find it.)

            An old guy on a train asks another old guy, “Is this Wembley?
            The other guy says, “No, it’s Thursday.”
            To which he replies, “Ah, so am i! Shall we get off and have drink?”
            ”Grand idea, let’s do that.”

            Comment

            • surfdog
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 494
              • Sunny SoCal
              • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

              Fun fact:
              After 100 years on the bottom of the ocean...divers were amazed that the Titanic’s pool was still full.

              Comment


              • Mr. Bones
                Mr. Bones commented
                Editing a comment
                Go an figger...
            • surfdog
              Club Member
              • Mar 2016
              • 494
              • Sunny SoCal
              • Weber Summit Charcoal Grill Center - Weber Summit Platinum D6 - Blue Rhino Razor - Char-Griller Legacy - Anova WiFi - Thermapen Mk4 - ThermaQ High Temp Kit - ThermaQ Meathead Kit - ThermaQ WiFi - ThermoWorks IR-GUN-S - ThermoPop - ThermoWorks TimeStick Trio x2 - Christopher Kimball timer - NO, I do not work for ThermoWorks...I just like their products.

              Click image for larger version

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              Comment


              • Mr. Bones
                Mr. Bones commented
                Editing a comment
                Right where I'm at....

            Announcement

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            Meat-Up in Memphis 2020

            Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early! Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis2020)
            See more
            See less
            Working...
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            Meat-Up in Memphis

            T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
            Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

            Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
            This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

            Click here for more info.

            Support ARC

            Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, and it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! And remember, we only recommend products we love. If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon.

            https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

            BBQ Stars

            SPOTLIGHT

            These are not ads or paid placements. These Are Some Of Our Favorite Tools And Toys.

            These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

            Use our links when you buy things

            Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

            https://tinyurl.com/amazingribs

             


            Placeholder

            Surely you know somebody who loves outdoor cooking who deserves a gift for the holidays, birthday, anniversary, or just for being wonderful. There he is, right in the mirror! Here are our selections of best ideas, all Platinum or Gold Medalists, listed by price.

            Click here to see our list of Gold Medal Gifts


            Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

            maverick PT55 thermometer

            A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

            Click here for more info on the Maverick PT-55 Waterproof Instant-Read Thermometer Review shown above. It may be the best value in a thermometer out there


            If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

            slow n sear

            The Slow 'N' Sear turns your grill into a first class smoker and also creates an extremely hot sear zone you can use to create steakhouse steaks.

            Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


            Bring The Heat With Broil King Signet's Dual Tube Burners

            the good one grill

            The Broil King Signet 320 is a modestly priced, 3-burner gas grill that packs a lot of value and power under the hood. Broil King's proprietary, dual-tube burners get hot fast and are able to achieve high, searing temps that rival most comparatively priced gas grills. The quality cast aluminum housing carries a Limited Lifetime Warranty.

            Click here to read our complete review


            The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

            the good one grill

            The Good-One Open Range is a charcoal grill with an offset smoke chamber attached. It is dramatically different from a traditional offset smoker. The grill sits low in front and doubles as a firebox for the smoke chamber which is spliced on above and behind so it can work like a horizontal offset smoker only better. By placing the heat source behind and under the smokebox instead of off to the side, Open Range produces even temperature from left to right, something almost impossible to achieve with a standard barrel shaped offset.

            Click here to read our complete review


            Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

            Griddle And Deep Fryer All In One

            The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all. Plus it has a built in cutting board, garbage bag holder, and paper towel holder. An additional work table on the left side provides plenty of counter space.

            Click here to read our detailed review and to order


            Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

            The Pit Barrel Cooker May Be Too Easy

            The PBC has a rabid cult following for good reason. It is absolutely positively without a doubt the best bargain on a smoker in the world. Period. This baby will cook circles around the cheap offset sideways barrel smokers in the hardware stores because temperature control is so much easier. Best of all, it is only $299 delivered to your door!

            Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


            Compact Powerful Sear Machine For Your Next Tailgater

            Placeholder

            Char-Broil's Grill2Go x200 is a super-portable, fun little sizzler made of heavy, rust-proof cast aluminum. The lid snaps shut. Grab the handle and you're off to the party! Char-Broil's TRU-Infrared design produces searing heat while reducing fuel consumption. A 16 ounce LP gas canister is enough to keep you flipping burgers for hours.

            Click here to read our detailed review and to order


            The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

            NK-22-Ck Grill

            Their NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

            Click here for more about what makes this grill special


            Placeholder

            G&F Suede Welder's Gloves

            Heat Resistant Gloves With Extra Long Sleeves Hold The Hot Stuff

            If you're using oven mitts at the grill, it's time to trade up. Say hello to these suede welder's gloves. They're heat resistant enough to handle hot grill grates, and flexible enough to handle tongs. The extra long sleeves even let you reach deep into the firebox to move hot logs without getting burned. Our Fave.

            Click here to read our detailed review

            Click here to order from Amazon


            GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

            grill grates

            GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, keep small foods from committing suicide, kill hotspots, are easier to clean, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily removed and moved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke to whatever is above. Every gas grill needs them.

            Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


            kareubequ bbq smoker

            Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

            The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

            Click here for our review of this superb smoker


            Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

            masterbuilt gas smoker

            The First Propane Smoker With A Thermostat Makes This Baby Foolproof

            Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

            Click here to read our detailed review


            Professional Steakhouse Knife Set

            masterbuilt gas smoker

            Our founder, Meathead, wanted the same steak knives used by steakhouses such as Peter Luger, Smith & Wollensky, Morton's, Kobe Club, Palm, and many others. So he located the manufacturer and had them stamp our name on some. They boast pointed, temper-ground, serrated, high-carbon stainless-steel, half-tang blades with excellent cutting edge ability. The beefy hardwood handle provides a comfortable grip secured by three hefty rivets. He has machine washed his more than 100 times. They have never rusted and they stay shiny without polishing. Please note that we do not make, sell, or distribute these knives, they just engrave them with our name.

            Click here to read our detailed review and to order


            PK 360 grill

            Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

            The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado. Beautifully designed and completely portable. Meathead says it is his preferrred grill.

            Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

            Click here to order it direct from PK and get a special deal for AmazingRibs.com readers only


            Fireboard: The Ultimate Top Of The Line BBQ Thermometer

            fireboard bbq thermometer

            With the ability to monitor up to six temperatures simultaneously with either Bluetooth or Wifi on your mobile phone, tablet, or computer, Fireboard is the best digital thermometer we’ve tested.

            Click here to read our detailed review


            Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

            Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

            Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

            Click here to read our detailed review and to order