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Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
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  • (brownie)
    Former Member
    • Aug 2015
    • 25
    • Central Oklahoma

    A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
    The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
    "You talk?" he asks.
    "Yep," the Lab replies.
    After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
    The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
    "I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
    "I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
    "Ten dollars," the guy says.
    "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"
    "Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that s**t."

    Comment

    • Yno
      Yno
      Former Member
      • May 2015
      • 406
      • Do you know the way to San Jose?

      A SPAGHETTI LOVE STORY
      For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
      One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
      Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
      She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
      One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
      'Honey, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
      'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
      On the card was written:

      Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

      Three with meatballs, two without.
      Send extra sauce

      Comment

      • Danjohnston949
        Former Member
        • Dec 2014
        • 4437
        • 1410 9th. St. N, Fargo ND

        Why it is always Cold and Windy in North Dakota: 1st - Canada lies to the North and bleeds over. 2nd - Westerly Prevailing Winds are due to the Blowing from Montana. 3rd - Minnesota Sucking to the East. Dan

        Comment

        • Medusa
          Charter Member
          • Sep 2014
          • 666
          • For those who are about to Cook - WE SALUTE YOU!

            Weber Genesis Silver B - 14 years
            GG's
            Weber OTS
            Vortex
            SnS
            Maverick ET-733 dual 6' probes / Thermo-Pop
            ennoLogic eT650D IR ( -58 to 1202F)
            Weber Rapid Fire Chimney
            Kingsford Blue

          Sez it all ...

          Click image for larger version

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          Comment

          • richinlbrg
            Founding Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 1858
            • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
            • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

            HMMMM, that might have been me! Click image for larger version

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            Comment


            • smarkley
              smarkley commented
              Editing a comment
              THAT is Funny!!!!

            • fuzzydaddy
              fuzzydaddy commented
              Editing a comment
              Nice. My Mom loves chicken so she used to say that when she was around live chickens that they would run, because they had heard about her.

            • jecucolo
              jecucolo commented
              Editing a comment
              My dad was from New York city and met my mother in the army WWII. She was from a farm in Shiner Texas. When he went to visit my grandmother he noticed she raised chickens. He asked her if they might be having fried chicken. She looked at my dad and said " We only eat chicken if one of us are sick or one of the chickens are sick". That was the end of the conversation.
          • richinlbrg
            Founding Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 1858
            • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
            • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

            A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
            She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
            He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
            Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
            “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
            “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
            “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
            Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
            “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

            Comment

            • Spinaker
              Moderator
              • Nov 2014
              • 10467
              • Land of Tonka
              • John "J R"
                Instagram: JRBowlsby
                Smokin' Hound Que
                Minnesota/ United States of America

                ********************************************
                Assistants
                Dexter (Beagle mix)
                Kinnick (American Foxhound)
                ************************

                Grills/Smokers/Fryers
                Big Green Egg (Large) X2
                Blackstone 36" Outdoor Griddle 4-Burner

                Broil King Keg
                Karubeque C-60
                Kamado Joe Jr. (Black)
                Lodge L410 Hibachi
                Pit Barrel Cooker
                Pit Barrel Cooker 2.0
                R&V Works FF2-R-ST 4-Gallon Fryer

                Weber Spirit Gasser
                ******************.
                Thermometers
                FireBoard (Base Package)
                Thermoworks ThermaPen (Red)
                Thermoworks MK4 (Orange)
                **************

                Accessories
                BBQ Dragon
                Big Green Egg Plate Setter
                Benzomatic TS4000 Torch X 2
                Benzomatic TS800 High Temp Torch X 2

                Bayou Classic 44 qt Stainless Stock Pot
                Bayou Classic 35K BTU Burner

                Digi Q DX2 (Medium Pit Viper Fan)
                Dragon VT 2-23 C Torch
                Eggspander Kit X2
                Field Skillet No. 8,10,12

                Finex Cat Iron Line
                FireBoard Drive
                Lots and Lots of Griswold Cast Iron
                Grill Grates
                Joule Water Circulator
                KBQ Fire Grate

                Kick Ash Basket (KAB) X4
                Lots of Lodge Cast Iron
                Husky 6 Drawer BBQ Equipment Cabinet
                Large Vortex
                Marlin 1894 .44 Magnum
                Marquette Castings No. 13 (First Run)
                Smithey No. 12
                Smokeware Chimney Cap X 3
                Stargazer No.10, 12
                Tool Wizard BBQ Tongs
                Univex Duro 10" Meat Slicer
                ********************************
                Fuel
                FOGO Priemium Lump Charcoal
                Kingsford Blue and White
                Rockwood Lump Charcoal
                Apple, Cherry & Oak Log splits for the C-60
                **************************

                Cutlery
                Buck 119 Special
                Dexter 12" Brisket Sword
                Global
                Shun
                Wusthof
                *******
                Next Major Purchase
                Lone Star Grillz 24 X 48 Offset

              A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

              Comment

              • smarkley
                Former Member
                • Jul 2014
                • 1429

                Beer...

                Comment

                • ribeyeguy
                  Charter Member
                  • Jun 2015
                  • 1298
                  • S. E. Wisconsin
                  • Weber Platinum Performer, 18"WSM, Smokenator, Slow 'n Sear.

                  For my birthday my wife bought me an Amazon Echo. If you're unfamiliar with it it's a voice activated device that can do a number of things like give you the weather forecast, find directions to a specific place, play a requested song, etc. It's an amusing yet completely useless device. One of its features is that if you ask it to, it'll tell jokes. Here's a few examples of the thigh slappers it recently told us.

                  Q: When should you go on a cheese diet?
                  A: When you need to chedda few pounds.

                  Q: Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?
                  A: To get a quarter back.

                  Q: What did the bottle of Ranch say when someone opened the refrigerator?
                  A: Shut the door! I'm dressing!

                  Like I said, it's a completely useless device.

                  Comment

                  • Willy
                    Charter Member
                    • Apr 2015
                    • 1793
                    • High Desert of the Great Southwest

                    This one is actually from smarkley, but it's on another thread. It deserves to be on this one:

                    A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. The bartender says "Is this a joke?".

                    Comment

                    • smarkley
                      Former Member
                      • Jul 2014
                      • 1429

                      Willy check this one out I just found LOL

                      Click image for larger version

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                      Comment

                      • richinlbrg
                        Founding Member
                        • Jul 2014
                        • 1858
                        • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
                        • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

                        I know some/many of us drive trucks! Might make some sense, eh?

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                        • Willy
                          Charter Member
                          • Apr 2015
                          • 1793
                          • High Desert of the Great Southwest

                          One dog to another: It's funny, my owner and I are best friends, even though we don't share similar interests. F'rinstance, he never sniffs poo and he never rolls around in dead stuff.

                          Comment

                          • Willy
                            Charter Member
                            • Apr 2015
                            • 1793
                            • High Desert of the Great Southwest

                            A one panel Far Side: God, standing on a cloud with bunnies, deer, hamsters, and other gentle creatures. God says "OK, now it's time to make some animals to eat you guys."

                            Another Far Side: God standing on a cloud, rolling something long and skinny between his palms. He says "Wow, snakes are easy!"

                            Comment

                            • richinlbrg
                              Founding Member
                              • Jul 2014
                              • 1858
                              • Leesburg, VA. (Northern, VA)
                              • We have two weber kettle grills (one LARGE and one small/average), the SnS and the Weber Smokey Mountain 18" smoker. We use both natural lump charcoal and KNB for smoking and measure our temps with a Maverick 733, thermopen and MK4. Favorite beer depends on what is cooking (alt answer is yes).

                              Meanwhile, in a parallel universe..........

                              Comment


                              • Huskee
                                Huskee commented
                                Editing a comment
                                Lol, happy little Bob

                              • richinlbrg
                                richinlbrg commented
                                Editing a comment
                                He was great!

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                            Meat-Up in Memphis 2021

                            Join us in Memphis for our Meat-Up! Space is limited to 400, secure your spot by booking early!
                            Click here for details. (https://amazingribs.com/memphis)
                            See more
                            See less
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                            Meat-Up in Memphis

                            T-Shirts & More T-Shirts & More
                            Order men's and women's T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, Aprons, Mugs, Caps, Tote Bags, Flasks, and more, all imprinted with the Pitmaster Club logo. There's even a spiral bound journal where you can make notes on your cooks.

                            Cool Embroidered Shirt Cool Embroidered Shirt
                            This beautifully embroidered shirt is the same one Meathead wears in public and on TV. It's wash and wear and doesn't need ironing (really!), but it is a soft cottonlike feel. Choice of four colors and both men's and women's.

                            Click here for more info.

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                            These are products we have tested, won our top awards, and are highly recommend. Click here to read how we test, about our medals, and what they mean.

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                            Many merchants pay us a small referral fee when you click our links and purchase from them. On Amazon it works on everything from grills to diapers, they never tell us what you bought, it has zero impact on the price you pay, but has a major impact on our ability to improve this site! If you like AmazingRibs.com, please save this link and use it every time you go to Amazon

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                            If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the Slow 'N' Sear

                            slow n sear

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                            Click here for our article on this breakthrough tool


                            The Good-One Is A Superb Grill And A Superb Smoker All In One

                            the good one grill

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                            Click here to read our complete review


                            Griddle And Deep Fryer In One

                            Pit Barrel Cooker Smoker

                            The flat top does the burgers and the fryer does the fries. Use the griddle for bacon, eggs, and home fries. Or pancakes, fajitas, grilled cheese, you name it. Why stink up the house deep frying and spatter all over? Do your fried chicken and calamari outside. Blackstone's Rangetop Combo With Deep Fryer does it all!

                            Click here to read our detailed review and to order


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                            Click here to read our detailed review and the raves from people who own them


                            The Undisputed Champion!

                            thermapen

                            The Thermoworks Thermapen MK4 is considered by the pros, and our team, to be the single best instant read thermometer. The MK4 includes features that are common on high-end instruments: automatic backlight and rotating display. Don't accept cheap substitutes.

                            Click here to read our comprehensive Platinum Medal review


                            Grilla Pellet Smoker proves good things come in small packages

                            Grilla pellet smoker

                            We always liked Grilla. The small 31.5" x 29.5" footprint makes it ideal for use where BBQ space is limited, as on a condo patio.

                            Click here for our review on this unique smoker


                            Delta by Nuke,
                            Stylish and Affordable
                            Gaucho Grill

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                            Delta by Nuke burns wood or charcoal and comes with an adjustable height grill grate. This Argentinian grill will get your flame on!

                            Click here to read our complete review


                            Genesis II E-335 
                            A Versatile Gasser That Does It All!

                            Weber Genesis Grill

                            Weber’s Genesis line has long been one of the most popular choices for gas grillers. The new Genesis II E-335 offers solid performance, a sear burner for sizzling heat and an excellent warranty.

                            Click here to read our complete review


                            GrillGrates Take Gas Grills To The Infrared Zone

                            grill grates

                            GrillGrates(TM) amplify heat, prevent flareups, make flipping foods easier, kill hotspots, flip over to make a fine griddle, and can be easily rmoved from one grill to another. You can even throw wood chips, pellets, or sawdust between the rails and deliver a quick burst of smoke.

                            Click here for more about what makes these grates so special


                            Is This Superb Charcoal Grill A Kamado Killer?

                            PK 360 grill

                            The PK-360, with 360 square inches of cooking space, this rust free, cast aluminum charcoal grill is durable and easy to use. Four-way venting means it's easy to set up for two zone cooking with more control than single vent Kamado grills. It is beautifully designed, completely portable, and much easier to set up for 2-zone cooking than any round kamado.

                            Click here to read our detailed review of the PK 360

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                            Our Favorite Backyard Smoker

                            kareubequ bbq smoker

                            The amazing Karubecue is the most innovative smoker in the world. The quality of meat from this machine is astonishing. At its crux is a patented firebox that burns logs above the cooking chamber and sucks heat and extremely clean blue smoke into the thermostat controlled oven. It is our favorite smoker, period.

                            Click here for our review of this superb smoker


                            Masterbuilt MPS 340/G ThermoTemp XL Propane Smoker

                            masterbuilt gas smoker

                            This is the first propane smoker with a thermostat, making this baby foolproof. Set ThermoTemp's dial from 175° to 350°F and the thermostat inside will adjust the burner just like an indoor kitchen oven. All you need to do is add wood to the tray above the burner to start smokin'.

                            Click here to read our detailed review


                            Digital Thermometers Are Your Most Valuable Tool And Here's A Great Buy!

                            maverick PT55 thermometer

                            A good digital thermometer keeps you from serving dry overcooked food or dangerously undercooked food. They are much faster and much more accurate than dial thermometers. YOU NEED ONE!

                            Click here to read our complete review


                            Track Up To Six Temperatures At Once

                            Grilla pellet smoker

                            FireBoard Drive 2 is an updated version of a well-received product that sets the standard for performance and functionality in the wireless food thermometer/thermostatic controller class.

                            Click here for our review of this unique device


                            The Cool Kettle With The Hinged Hood We Always Wanted

                            NK-22-Ck Grill

                            Napoleon's NK22CK-C Charcoal Kettle Grill puts a few spins on the familiar kettle design. In fact, the hinged lid with a handle on the front, spins in a rotary motion 180 degrees. It's hard to beat a Weber kettle, but Napoleon holds its own and adds some unique features to make the NK22CK-C a viable alternative.

                            Click here for more about what makes this grill special


                            Finally, A Great Portable Pellet Smoker

                            Green Mountain Davey Crockett Grill

                            Green Mountain's portable Davy Crockett Pellet Smoker is one mean tailgating and picnic machine. But it's also gaining popularity with people who want to add a small, set it and forget it pellet smoker to their backyard arsenal. And with their WiFi capabilities you can control and monitor Davy Crocket from your smart phone or laptop.

                            Click here to read our detailed review and to order